Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Toni McKinley. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Toni, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Developing confidence and self-esteem is a gradual and ongoing process. I started by facing my fears. This meant going out of my comfort zone and confronting my fears head-on. Some of my fears were that I wasn’t smart enough or that if I messed up, people would be critical of me. Each time I faced those fears, I gained confidence in my ability to handle challenging situations. To continue to grow my confidence, I had to develop my skills and knowledge in the areas I wanted to be respected. I continuously sought to improve myself through learning and acquiring new skills. The more I increased my competence; I increased my confidence. At the same time, I knew I could not be perfect. That takes many years, if not an eternity, to achieve. So I started to embrace my imperfections. Accepting myself for who I am allows me to focus on personal growth rather than unrealistic expectations. Volunteering to others also boosted my self-esteem by making me feel valuable and appreciated. It also taught me much about the profession I wanted to improve. Another critical strategy I focussed on was building a network of friends and mentors who uplifted and encouraged me. Positive influences significantly impacted my self-esteem. I did this by joining various groups that had like-minded interests. I have made great friends through these networks. Something that took me a little bit longer to recognize was engaging in activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient rest contribute to a more positive outlook on life. I lacked this for a while, but when I added it to my routine, it significantly impacted my confidence.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
My name is Toni McKinley, and I have been working in the anti-trafficking movement since 2011. After seeing a therapist for my life issues, I decided to become one myself. I struggled with the effects of childhood trauma and sex trafficking. Being abused and trafficked as a child turned my life upside down, and I struggled with overwhelming emotions constantly. Being able to heal from my trauma opened many doors and opportunities. Because of this healing, I have been able to help other women who have been trafficked. I am a licensed counselor. I teach about trauma and the neuro-psychology of trafficking trauma to help other caretakers understand how this affects each survivor and how to help them. I also wrote a book that helps others learn and understand more about what trafficking is. It is called, What Happened To Me: Healing For Sex Trafficking Survivors. You can find it on Amazon. I am also the Executive Director of Magdalene House of Austin, a two-year healing program for women who survived sex trafficking.
Magdalene House is like a second home to me. We serve six women at a time and take them through an intensive healing process. Our goal is that they will never be vulnerable to trafficking or exploitation ever again! We teach them life skills; they work on their education, take professional development courses, and save money to purchase transportation and live in a place they call home. When they graduate from Magdalene House of Austin, they will be a sister for life! We continue to do case management and help them through the bumps in life’s road.
Currently, we turn down approximately 17 women per month because we are full. That totals 200 women a year who cannot receive help from the trauma of sex trafficking. Because of this, we decided to start a campaign to raise money to open up six more beds. We need to raise about $100,000 to build bedrooms, bathrooms, and a kitchen to make room for six additional women. To give a generous donation or to volunteer your expertise, please visit our website at MagdaleneAustin.org.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Different struggles may require different skills or areas of knowledge that impact someone’s journey. Having a growth mindset, seeking support from others, and being open to learning and adapting are beneficial traits when facing challenges. The most important qualities that helped me were resiliency, problem-solving skills, and emotional intelligence.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back and adapt in the face of adversity. It involves staying strong, positive, and determined during difficult times, allowing one to navigate struggles easily. Developing resilience enabled me to maintain my mental and emotional well-being despite challenges.
Strong problem-solving skills are invaluable during difficult situations. Being able to approach problems with a clear and rational mindset, break them down into manageable parts, and develop practical solutions can alleviate the impact of struggles and lead to successful outcomes.
Understanding and managing one’s emotions, as well as being empathetic to the feelings of others, is a crucial quality during tough times. Emotional intelligence allowed me to cope with stress, communicate effectively, and maintain healthy relationships, which are vital to overcoming struggles and building support systems. It also helped me develop self-awareness essential for personal growth and self-improvement.
If you are early in your journey and want to develop and improve qualities like resilience, problem-solving skills, and emotional intelligence, here is some practical advice:
1) Seek Learning Opportunities: Be open to learning and gaining new experiences. Take on challenges, even if they seem daunting, as they offer growth and skill development opportunities. Seek out workshops, courses, or mentors to help you build these qualities.
2) Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your experiences, emotions, and reactions. Mindfulness allows you to understand yourself better and identify areas for improvement. Self-reflection helps identify patterns of behavior and thoughts that may hinder your growth.
3) Build a Support System: Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals who can provide encouragement, guidance, and constructive feedback. Share your struggles and successes with them, as it can make the journey more manageable and fulfilling.
4) Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity: Don’t be discouraged by setbacks or failures. Instead, view them as valuable learning experiences contributing to your growth. Analyze what went wrong, understand the lessons, and use that knowledge to improve in the future.
5) Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable goals that align with your journey’s direction. Breaking larger goals into smaller, manageable steps can make the path seem less overwhelming and help you track your progress effectively.
6) Practice Resilience Daily: Develop resilience by facing more minor challenges regularly. Building this quality is a gradual process, and consistently practicing resilience in everyday situations will help you build the mental and emotional strength needed to tackle more significant challenges.
7) Seek Feedback and Act on It: Ask for feedback from trusted individuals and be open to constructive criticism. Use the feedback to identify areas to improve and make the necessary adjustments.
8) Develop Empathy and Emotional Awareness: Practice active listening and try to understand the perspectives and emotions of others. Engaging in empathetic communication can enhance your emotional intelligence and improve your relationships.
9) Read and Educate Yourself: Read books, articles, or attend workshops that focus on personal development, emotional intelligence, and problem-solving. Continuous education is an essential part of growth.
10) Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may be. Acknowledging progress, no matter how minor, reinforces positive behavior and encourages further growth.
Remember that personal development is a journey, and it’s okay to take things step by step. Stay patient, be kind to yourself, and keep moving forward with determination and a growth mindset. As you develop these qualities, you’ll be better equipped to face challenges and make the most of your journey.
Okay, so before we go we always love to ask if you are looking for folks to partner or collaborate with?
Human trafficking is a grave global issue that affects millions of lives, robbing innocent individuals of their freedom and dignity. I am looking for individuals and businesses who share a passion for positively impacting the world; I believe that together, our community can create a formidable force to combat this heinous crime.
The Magdalene House of Austin initiative is dedicated to supporting survivors of trafficking by providing them with vital resources, rehabilitation, and empowerment programs to help them rebuild their lives. We have seen tangible results and touched the lives of many survivors, but we recognize the immense potential to do even more with the right partners.
Your expertise, influence, and commitment to social causes may make you an ideal collaborator. By partnering with Magdalene House of Austin, you could be pivotal in raising awareness about human trafficking, supporting survivors on their path to recovery, and preventing future victimization.
The benefits of partnering with Magdalene House of Austin are two-fold; not only will it bolster our collective efforts in eradicating human trafficking, but it will also enhance your social responsibility initiatives, contributing to a positive brand image and heightened impact on society.
If your heart is yearning to help, I would be thrilled to discuss the possibilities of partnering further and address any questions or concerns you may have. Together, we can create a safer and more just world for those affected by this horrendous crime. Please reach out to me at [email protected] and visit MagdaleneAustin.org for more information.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.tonimckinley.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toni-mckinley
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/HodfYH78HuM
- Other: https://www.magdaleneaustin.org
