Meet Tunisha Andrews

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tunisha Andrews a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Tunisha, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

Finding my purpose has been an evolution. I thought my purpose was to be a teacher for most of my life. That was it. Once I got into teaching, I realized that it didn’t light me up the way I thought it would. I love working with kids and helping them learn things and make progress they didn’t think they could achieve. And I know that it doesn’t fulfill me the way I dreamed it would as a student in college.

I became a mom and thought, “Now this is IT. I’m made for THIS.” And as my son got older, I felt out of my depth when it came to parenting a teenager. My son and I started growing apart. He started avoiding me altogether. I thought it was just hormones and part of the process. But something happened that changed everything.

I don’t know exactly why I was able to see myself differently, but after some crazy arguments and blow-ups, I realized I wasn’t who I wanted to be as a mom at all. I was scared that I was going to lose the relationship with my son entirely and I knew I had to do everything in my power to prevent that.

I became radically accountable for my behavior and started digging into my thought processes, faith in God and what it means to be a good representative for Christ, psychology, and most of all communication. 90% of our issues all came down to the way we spoke to each other. He had picked up habits that I recognized came directly from me. If I didn’t like them, I had to change them within myself first.

As the relationship with my son transformed, I realized other families are like us. Other moms have good kids and bad communication habits that drive a wedge between them.

Communication is one of those skills we’re all expected to have yet never get taught. Sure, we learn to read and write and speak, but we aren’t taught to listen. We aren’t taught to speak without covert layers of judgment. We have no clue about disconnecting habits and biases we have that shape our parenting and subsequent relationships with our kids.

It was in reflecting on the emotional legacy that I want to leave my own son, that I realized my purpose. It’s to help families around the world change the legacy of estrangement, resentment, and discord. It’s a completely dysfunctional way to live.

I found my purpose by not accepting that the pain my son and I experienced as normal. Taking stock of all the skills I’ve developed as a teacher, Instructional Coach, and throughout my life to see that I’m uniquely gifted for the work I’m doing.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I help moms become the safe-space for their kids that they dream of being.

That’s something I know how to do because I personally went from being the low-light of my son’s day in a home filled with stress and tension to being his comforter. He openly shares his feelings with me and even calls me out knowing that we’ll be able to have an honest conversation about any situation and move forward with resolution in love.

I guess that’s why it’s so exciting to me to help other moms with it. I know the work I had to put in and how much time and tears I can save others.

I learned how to discipline my son without hurting him. I became unbelievably confident and self-aware. I broke a lifetime of people-pleasing habits. I curated my life around being more joyful. And that’s what my brand is all about. Living joyfully according to my vision, my values, and my serenity. It’s why I call myself the V.V.S. Life Coach.

I’m actually opening a new program called The Relationship Reset to help moms make the mindset, identity, and communication shifts that help them become the emotional safe haven their kids need. I want moms to go beyond superficial relationships with their kids. I want their kids to go out into the world prepared to navigate the emotional landscape with resilience, intelligence, and thoughtful communication patterns.

It’ll make them better partners, parents, leaders, and citizens in general. It’s legacy work.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Hands down I’d say number 1 is being curious. I don’t settle for not knowing things that I can find answers for. I’m curious about things both outside and within myself. And that definitely makes me an effective coach and educator.

The second quality is being reflective. Because I ask a lot of questions, I’ve got to think about the larger implications of the answers to help me figure out my next set of questions.

The third quality would be tenacity. I stick with things even when they’re difficult when they’re important to me. I pour myself into my work and learning. I want to give my best to everything I do so I don’t settle for just getting by. I can always be growing and improving. If I’m not, then why am I here?

If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?

I would quit teaching in the school system to spend more time with my family. I would continue my coaching work and serving families in that capacity.

One thing teachers always complain about is not being able to control what happens in kids’ homes. One day it dawned on me that I can’t control it, but I can influence it. So I’d spend the rest of my life doing that. Trying to be a good influence for other moms. Sharing my hard earned lessons with them. And focusing on my own family.

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