Meet Urša Kavčič

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Urša Kavčič. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Urša below.

Hi Urša, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

Confidence, for me, comes from trusting myself. And to develop that trust, I believe I first had to love myself and accept myself completely. The tricky part is that the »I« which I am is constantly changing. With every interaction, every challenge, every experience, the »I« changes a little bit. My job is to allow there to be space for the everchanging »I« and to take time to get to know what is evolving – in every moment. That certainly takes time and practice, but at the same time it is unbelievably thrilling. Getting to know myself and to persist at it – delving deeper every time – has been one of the most delightful experiences. And the more I get to know myself, the more I can love and accept myself. The confidence and self-esteem then come naturally. Arguably, there are times when I find myself in a completely new and unknown situation or environment where I am not comfortable or I do not know how to set boundaries or take up space. In those moments I just try to be present and observe my surroundings as well as my inner self.

I believe new situations and everything that is outside of my comfort zone is what makes my confidence grow. I am a very curious person so there is always something new around the corner that I want to explore, whether it is travelling to a new country, getting to know new people, researching a new character that I am portraying, or going to an event where I do not know many people (or none at all).

Looking back, one of the things that probably gave me the best »shake-up« and offered me a chance to do a big introspection was going to New Zealand right after I finished my acting degree. Coming from Slovenia, I did quite a lot of travelling around Europe before that, but I had never left my home country for 10 months to work and travel abroad. I went there alone and not knowing anyone that lived there. I also did not know where I was going to work or what I was going to do – all I had were 3 nights booked at a hostel in Auckland, two backpacks and faith that everything was going to work out in my favour.

As if everything new around me was not enough, after a week, I cut my hair short and dyed it light platinum blue. For context – I had never dyed my hair before and cutting it short was »not-a-chance-in-hell« for me since kindergarten. It took some time to adjust to an all-new-me in an all-new-environment and to be honest, I think a lot of adjusting and introspection happened after I had left New Zealand, even some years later. But working at multiple different jobs, meeting so many people with different backgrounds, experiencing new culture – food even – travelling, having to look for an apartment in a new city every now and then – all of it made me so much stronger; made me trust myself and helped me build my confidence and self-esteem I have today.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Soon after returning from New Zealand, I moved to New York where I studied Musical Theatre at the New York Film Academy. Everything was moving with the speed of light. Again I was in a new, unknown place; a stranger to everyone; doing something new or at least something known to me, but on a level unimaginable to me before. Thankfully, at least my hair started to look like mine again. But somehow this time something was different. I felt like I could handle things better. For sure, this time I had a plan, I knew exactly why I came there, but I was also stronger, more resilient and more determined. On top of that I was working with amazing teachers and was surrounded with so much talent. I met many, many inspirational people that I am still in contact with today. That too, was a truly life-changing experience.

When I moved back home, I finished my Master’s Degree in Acting and started working in theatres all over Slovenia, even in some Italian and Croatian ones. I have 8 running shows at the moment and I am currently in the rehearsals for the role of Lucy in The Threepenny Opera, premiering on March 20th, in a production of the Slovenian National Theatre Ljubljana.

I think I have been acting and singing for the majority of my life, and those are not even the things that shape my life the most. For most parts, I believe that it is the people I meet along the way. Sure I meet them mostly because of the situations related to acting and singing, but I guess what I am trying to say is that human interactions and relationships I form with people always affect my work, my relationship with work, how I view life and at the end of the day – how I view myself.

I find people exciting. Even the ones that bore me or hurt me. I find the way they make me feel exciting. At the end of last year I read a quote that »if someone makes you feel, let them«, and I felt it so deeply. Because that feeling is the key to bringing me closer to myself, to my truth. And being closer to my truth is what makes me a better actress, a better singer, a better friend and a better human.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

If I only had to pick three, I would say intuition, devotion and confidence.

I have learned the importance of trusting my intuition quite recently actually, at least consciously. Listening to myself and being true to myself was not always easy or self-explanatory. For a long time, I tried to please others, I cared a lot for what they would think of me and honestly, I am still working on that. I had always been loud and opinionated, but when it mattered the most, when I would have to stand up for myself or hold my ground, I failed a lot of times. I would feel how badly I wanted something to be different to what someone else had suggested or demanded but did it their way anyway. Afterwards I felt like I had betrayed myself and that was never a pleasant feeling. Last year I had a concert with my band that I had organized myself. It is a yearly event that takes place at a magical garden behind a manor house. The weather was not on our side, and we had to do something about it, since the event was planned outdoors. My intuition was telling me to change the dates but quite a lot of people close to me were worried that the weather was going to be bad then too and tried to convince me to keep the date and change the location instead. I was devastated but I knew that if we changed the location, the concert would not be the same. There was a lot of talking and arguing back and forth but I ended up listening to myself. The weather on the newly set date was thankfully good and we managed to go through with the concert, to which many referred as »the best one yet«. But a good concert aside, I was most proud of myself for trusting my intuition and going with it. Just imagining doing it under a plastic tent or somewhere uneventful indoors instead of under the trees during a starry night would make me unhappy and unfulfilled. I consciously tried to listen to myself again and again after that and I swear – there is no better feeling. It might be scary at first, but when you learn to trust it, there is no going back.

Being devoted, especially in my line of work, is extremely important. Picking something you love and working on it, sticking to it even when it is hard, mastering it. My professor in New York always used to remind us of a quote, that »the difference between mediocrity and excellence is attention to details«. And I believe that only when you are truly devoted, you can pay attention to even the smallest detail there is. Show business is not the easiest business. It can be cruel and lonely; the hours are long; my body must always be ready and strong; my voice healthy; and my mind sharp. But as much as it takes, it also gives back – even more so. I think devotion is a secret ingredient here, because when you give yourself to what you love completely, not only are you giving that love to yourself but in the process of creation love somehow multiplies.

As for confidence, I really think that doing something and not being confident about it, not doing it with at least a certain amount of confidence, is not going to give good results. Of course there are going to be new, unexplored situations and like I said earlier, for me, they happen quite often. And that is where courage comes in. Courage that comes from trusting myself and knowing that nothing that bad is going to happen if I dive into the unknown and give it my best shot. One of my odd jobs in New Zealand was cleaning public toilets and I did it for almost two months. Physically, it was one of the easiest jobs I have ever had, it paid well, I had a lot of time to kill during my working hours plus I like it when things are clean, so basically – nothing to complain about. Except for one guy. I was closing one toilet at a time to clean it (it was a standard procedure), and one day I was just waiting for someone to come out so I could close and clean it. When I was about to go in this random guy came past me and while I was trying to tell him that he will have to wait for the next one, he angrily yelled at me something like »you are only here because of me so you wait for the next one« and slammed the door in my face. I was very shocked and I felt so humiliated; so belittled. Quite a few people saw it and no one said anything and I am not going to lie, as soon as he came out I jumped inside the stall, locked the door and started crying. I continued to do so for about 5 to 10 minutes. My confidence was destroyed and so was my courage. But I survived, nothing »that bad« happened to me and I am still here. Because, fortunately, we can take situations and interactions like that and use them to help us grow. Today, I would not let anyone talk to me like that. Or if they did, I would definitely say something back and set a boundary.

Thinking about it now, setting boundaries might as well be one of the three most important skills that were most impactful in my journey. And confidence, with courage, certainly help set them.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

The thing I have been doing more and more often lately (especially if I am starting to feel overwhelmed) is taking small breaks during the day. A few minutes when I just slow down and unwind; take a few deeper breaths and scan my body and mind. Days can get pretty stressful, and I noticed that I function a lot better with a regulated nervous system.

Over the past few years, I have been doing a lot of body work, meditating and getting in touch with myself in general. I start every morning by connecting with earth, water, fire and air. I do specific exercises that connect me with each of those four elements to prepare myself for the day ahead. After I have done that, I feel more grounded, energised and in a flow. I cannot stress enough how much better prepared I feel for a new day if I listen to my body first thing in the morning and then set an intention for how I want to feel during the day. We are very powerful creatures and being consciously present in our lives is the key to living up to our fullest potential.

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Image Credits

Vida Habjanič
Peter Giodani
Žan Eržen
Jure Stušek
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