Meet Vanessa Necolettos

 

We recently connected with Vanessa Necolettos and have shared our conversation below.

Vanessa, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

My purpose fluctuates. My purpose depends on the need. When I think I am being purposeful in one way or another, another door of opportunity opens that I didn’t even know was a possibility. I don’t mean to use metaphors, but it’s true. When I have gone to my fullest potential, something else presents itself. For example, never in my wildest dreams did I think I would earn a Ph.D in my 50s. I would have never completed the degree if I had focused on the payout. There was a school change and a program change. I had a huge falling out with my dissertation chair right before schools closed for the pandemic, who blatantly told me, “That’s why everyone doesn’t have one.” I would not allow her loss of focus to break my spirit to accomplish a goal. I went from having no loans to over 25,000 in loans to finish the degree. I needed to complete the degree; the purpose fluctuated from wanting to needing to.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

In the past seven years, I have focused on my personal development. As my daughters got older, I asked myself, what’s next for me? In the last few years, I published 3 children’s books, completed my dissertation, and am the department head for the largest Catholic school in the South. I opened a college advising company during the pandemic so I could further help students and advise them with their college essays and standardized testing. I advise as a teacher and not as a business. As I tell prospective clients, I am not a business major. I could get rich, but I choose to help others “feed themselves. ” I advocate for those that will not ask but yet need. My mother was a very proud woman. She would not ask for help, yet figured out a way to do it all herself. I recognize this in others.

Currently, I am focusing on my children’s books. The characters are unlikely best friends who travel the United States. They are friends, so sometimes, they give advice on being friends but, more importantly, staying friends. since its summer, I am also editing college essays to stay busy.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The first skill is communication. I am not afraid to speak my mind, though when women seem to speak up, I have been called aggressive. There’s a difference between being assertive and getting things done. I get things done by communicating.

I am creative. When someone says no, I already think of a beneficial outcome for both parties. I love Stephen R. Covey’s chapter on Win-Win. There is enough space for everyone to be heard and successful.

I like to collaborate. I find others have amazing ideas. Working with others always broadens my perspective.

Communicating, creativity, and Collaboration have been my mainstays.

What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?

The most impactful my parents did for me was to do less. I came from two working parents. They did not have time for Girl Scouts or after-school activities. I got off the public bus in the 6th grade and would walk home to an empty house. I would meet my sister at the bus stop as she got out later. I paid for my senior year in high school because I had poor grades, and my mother said if I wanted to go to that school, I would pay for it, and I did. College was the same. I paid for that, too, besides my own car and my own bills by the time I graduated high school. I am not mad about it, it’s all I knew. So, the best thing they did for me was to raise an independent person who can critically think for myself.

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