We were lucky to catch up with Veronica Rogers recently and have shared our conversation below.
Veronica, we sincerely appreciate you joining us today and agreeing to talk about some very personal topics. So, to kick things off, let’s talk about a tough one – divorce. Can you talk to us about how you overcame divorce?
Before going through one myself, I had this idea that people went through divorce easily. But really, people just don’t talk about it. I thought that surely because it was such a serious decision, people put enough thought behind it that when it finally happened they were so sure that there wasn’t additional pain. Getting divorced is like being hit by a freight train, only for some reason, you don’t die and are caught underneath and drug along the tracks. It can feel painful in areas you never knew could hurt, so establishing a support system is the most crucial piece of the puzzle — professionals and people close to you . Having loved ones who don’t tire of the endless conversation about heart break and investing in professional support to help you navigate these new waters and fight the current of grief threatening to pull you under is priceless. For me, I kept waiting to love my ex any less, but that love remained anchored in my chest, enjoying its home in my heart. When you love someone so deeply, like grief, it never really goes away. Your life grows around it, but that love will always be there in some fashion. That realization is both sad and heart warming — but your ability to love someone so deeply is something to be celebrate. Love is resilient. When riding the waves of grief, taking the time to be extra gentle with yourself, treating yourself like you’d treat your best friend can be world changing. We hold ourselves to impossibly high standards we wouldn’t hold others to, so giving yourself those moments of gentleness is crucial.
Trying to push away your grief and your feelings won’t solve the problem — being distracted doesn’t eliminate grief. You have to sit in the emotions, give yourself the space to feel them (when I was feeling low, I’d set a timer and let myself feel the pain for the time allotted, and then get up and start again.) When you can recognize those painful feelings and allow yourself to sit in their presence instead of shoving them away, you can move through them easier. Finding a coach, or a therapist, who specializes in divorce will help in ways you never imagined. Of all the things I’ve done since my divorce, I can’t recommend that part enough.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I own a bridal hair and makeup company. I always joke that I came out of the womb doing hair and makeup — it’s something I was super passionate about from a very young age. That passion grew into a deep love and appreciation when I entered puberty and got hit with a severe case of acne. Makeup and hair then became a place of refuge that allowed me to feel confident in my skin again — and from there, that confidence was able to expand into having fun with it! The way I felt when I would look in the mirror and hate how I looked — how I couldn’t believe the reflection that was staring back at me — is something that is branded into my heart and I’ll remember forever. It instilled a life goal in me — to use my talent to allow women to look in the mirror and love how they look, to give them that rare experience of truly feeling like a princess. That goal became what fueled my company, so each of our clients can leave our chairs feelings like the most beautiful version of themselves and radiating confidence.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The most impactful skill by far has nothing to do with business and everything to do with human connection and that is the ability to empathize with your clients or customers. Building genuine human connection with a stranger over shared values or hardships, being interested in them as a person, and actively listening will turn a stranger into a client and a client into a fan. Empathy will skyrocket your business in ways that coaches and courses can’t teach. The second would be your dedication to resilience — as a business owner, your journey is going to come with a variety of ups and downs. Your relationship with your career and your dream is going to be like a marriage, you’re together for life and there are going to be moments when the spark is reignited and there’s nothing else you’d rather do and there will be moments when you’re hurting and need space. But your dedication to be resilient despite those hardships is what turns a failure into a success. The final piece of the business owner puzzle is being committed to learning. Even when you are an expert in your field, being open to learning new techniques and skills and bettering yourself is what separates the goods from the greats.
For anyone new on their journey, implementing these skills will separate your business from a day dream, but they all can’t work unless you’ve developed your “why.” Understanding with unshakeable clarity WHY you do what you do what — your why is what keeps you going when you’re tired, it’s what forces you to trudge on when times are hard and allows you to truly celebrate the moments that bring you nothing but joy.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
Overwhelm happens to all of us as entrepreneurs — partially because we spend so much time devoted to our passions that it sneaks up on us and then hits us like a truck! When I have the ability, I try to be the most gentle with myself during those times. For me, that means if I have the flexibility in my schedule, I let myself take slow mornings and factor in an hour to drink my coffee and do something just for me (crochet, read, etc.) or I make sure to spend at least 15 minutes a day outside in the sunshine, and I make that a priority in my schedule. I am most productive at my desk, but if I’m mentally and physically burnt out, I let myself take the comfier route and work in my recliner. I wear comfy clothes and prioritize moving my body whether that means going on a walk or walking on a treadmill at the gym for even just 30 minutes. When I was single, I let my best friend know that I needed a little TLC and she would swing by when her schedule allowed– sometimes just with a coffee for a 30 minute chat, or sometimes with flowers, or we’d cook dinner together. She and I established that we needed that from each other during difficult moments and it worked out beautifully with that open communication. My partner and I are honest with each other about our feelings — when he’s under a heavy mental load, I come in and fill that space to take a load off his plate, and when I’m under a heavy mental load he comes in and fills that space. For us, that looks like prioritizing time at home as opposed to going out (we call this spending time at home base) and one of us cooking for the other. We validate the other’s feelings, spend time away from our cell phones, and take off the entrepreneur name pin to sit in our humanness together.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.blackswanbeauty.org
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/blackswanbeautyindy
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/blackswanbeautyindy
Image Credits
Tessa Tillet Photography Anna Clark Photography Alison Mae Photography
