We were lucky to catch up with Veronique Benhayoun recently and have shared our conversation below.
Veronique, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
Keep going. Even when you’re the odd man out. KEEP GOING.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
By day I am an Office Manager for a company that treats clients for Substance Use Disorders. Outside of that, I create content on TikTok that primarily focuses on showing people what real life looks like.
Professionally I feel so purposeful working in the world of SUD’s. Being the child of 2 people who were in active addiction my entire life was so difficult. I grew up not understanding much of the dynamics of addiction and that left me and my siblings neglected and confused much of the time. My parents addiction and other issues caused us to be placed in foster care, and my parents ultimately never regained custody of us. I spent many years working in various jobs and pre-Covid, January of 2022, I landed my first office management job. I realized at that time that I really liked and was good at that type of work. Unfortunately I was the first person to be laid off from the company during the Covid shut downs. For the next year approximately, I worked in a state job until I myself became very sick from Covid and the treatment I received during my hospitalization while I was ill left me feeling less than good about my employment with the state. I left my state job and ended up getting rehired at my pre-Covid job and for the next 2.5 years I managed a construction company, but the work environment was abusive. I was the only employee doing everyone’s job all while being under paid and treated poorly by the owner. I began to feel like I needed more than just a job. I wanted something fulfilling and I began searching. I looked for months because I was not willing to settle for anything and finally found my current job. It has been the best professional decision I have made to date. This job speaks to something from my inner-child that wanted so much more for my parents and couldn’t give them. Unfortunately, I lost both of my parents to addiction but my currently position is a tribute to them.
As far as social media presence, I feel that most influential social media personalities are watered down and fake. I pride myself in being a real person who is not afraid to share my struggles, trials and tribulations. I go to great lengths to build connections with my followers in a way that most other people on social media do not. Sometimes, people need to see that there are no unique experiences, that everyone struggles and that is okay. That is the type of content I create.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The three qualities that were most impactful in my journey are Struggle, Failure and Perseverance.
I struggled so much. There is no growth without struggle. I remember back in 2015, my (now) ex-husband evicted me and his children out of what was our marital home. I had finally secured a place to live just days before we were ordered to be out. During one of the first days of my move, he showed up and threw everything I had left in the house onto the curb and it got destroyed in heavy rain. I was left with nothing. I struggled to replace everything, but piece by piece I put everything back together.
I failed a lot. There is no success without failure. Throughout the years, at various points in my life I have had a very difficult time obtaining success. I would feel like I worked so hard for something only for it to fail in the end. What I learned during these times, was that every time I failed, it taught me what not to do, in order for whatever I was working on to be successful. I never gave up, I would just use what I learned during one of my fails, to eventually gain a success, because as previously stated, there is no success without failure.
Lastly, perseverance. I always got back up. If you get knocked down 5 times, get back up 6. So many times, life knocked me down and I felt totally defeated. But, no matter how defeated I felt I always persevered and tried again. This is important because at times you may just feel like giving up and staying knocked down out of exasperation. Don’t, always get back up!
Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?
My biggest area of growth and improvement in the past 12 months has been learning to take care of my mental health.
For years I underwent every type of abuse imaginable and it left me struggling with my mental health. For years I was in denial about the mental baggage I was carrying around and because I was embarrassed I hid behind the guise of being “fine”. I work for a very mental health conscience company and approximately a year ago I decided to attack my mental health concerns head on. I have worked tirelessly to improve my mental health and emotional well being and while the beginning stages were anything but pretty, I can confidently say I see a world of improvement in myself these days. Addressing these concerns has helped me be a better mother and has helped me educate and empower other women. Personally, I feel there is such a stigma for women & mothers when it comes to mental health, as we are inherently viewed as “emotional” and the moment a woman says she is struggling, out comes the judgement. By being more vocal about just how many women struggle with their mental health I hope to help end the stigma one day!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://linktr.ee/veroniqueben
