We recently connected with Veselina Hristova Jones, LICSW and have shared our conversation below.
Veselina, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
In my case it was an English tutor in high school who helped me move past a family history of domestic violence and substance use. She helped me see that I had it in me to pack up 2 bags and $200, get on an airplane for the first time and fly halfway across the world to land in a small town in Southern Missouri to pursue a liberal arts education.
And the rest is history…
I have been blessed to meet other individuals along the way who helped me pursue my dream of becoming a therapist and helping others. I grew up in a small town in Bulgaria where mental health support and domestic violence hotlines didn’t exist. It was not always easy to lean on a few relatives or close friends to make sense of the world and figure out my own path.
So, I have made it my mission to help others never feel they have no one to turn to. Over the years, I have worked with people across various backgrounds. I have worked in domestic violence and homeless shelters, locked inpatient units, residential and partial hospital programs.
And the common denominator is always the same: we all have a shared human experience of pain, heartbreak, grief, anxiety, depression, and trauma. But with support, we can all forge our own path.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
As a licensed clinical social worker, I bring in years of experience across various levels of care to my work with clients in my private practice. Currently, I work with women across the life span from starting a new career and family to managing empty nesting to navigating menopause and beyond.
Each life transition presents its own unique set of challenges, and I recognize that we often bring in earlier life experiences into how we navigate what is happening in our lives. Many of my clients struggle with negative self-talk, anxiety, depression and difficulty asking for what they need and want.
I help my clients recognize their negative core beliefs such as “I am not good enough” or “I am a failure” which tend to lead to negative automatic thoughts such as “I am not a good enough parent to my children” or “I can never do anything right”. Unfortunately, those thoughts often can keep us stuck and prevent us from reaching our goals and live the life we want to live vs the life we feel we are supposed to live. I am honored to walk alongside my clients and equip them with the tools they need to build self-compassion, stress management skills and act according to their values.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three skills that I learned early in my clinical training and have been most impactful in my journey are:
Radical acceptance – from an early age I learned that the only way out of a difficult situation is to go through it. The concept of radical acceptance, which is one of the core principles in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, means accepting reality as is vs getting stuck in “I wish this was not happening” or “So and so should not be acting this way.” When we get stuck in the “shoulds”, we can feel powerless and in turn hopeless. I am a firm believer that if we acknowledge the reality, even if we don’t like it or agree with it, we can then problem-solve and move through the given challenge much easier.
Self-compassion – our brains are wired for negativity – it’s a self-protective feature which can sometimes backfire. Many of us speak to ourselves in a way that we would never speak to someone else, which in turn reinforces the negative core beliefs we may have and thus keep us feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with who we are. Self-compassion has been transformative to me to be able to pause and acknowledge what is happening in the moment, acknowledge my common humanity aka all human beings make mistakes, experience pain and disappointment, and offer myself the kindness that I offer to other people.
Mindfulness – being able to stay present in the moment and not get carried away by what has happened in the past or with worries about the future has been crucial both in my personal and professional life. When we have experienced difficulties in the past, it’s normal for those experiences to influence how we show up in the world and the work that we do. However, past trauma can also keep us stuck in the past while we miss out on many beautiful moments in the present. Becoming more aware of what happens for me moment by moment, allows me to be more present with my clients, my family and friends, and to enjoy what I am doing vs acting on autopilot.
My advice to folks who are early in their journey is “it’s ok to ask for help”. Due to my family circumstances, I had to grow up fast and become independent at a young age. Unfortunately, sometimes with that independence comes the belief that I should be able to figure things out on my own and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Nothing can be further from the truth. Asking for help is a sign of strength and leads to growth and better satisfaction with life.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
I love collaborating with ancillary providers such as nutritionists, functional medicine providers, couples’ therapists and psychiatrists. I believe mental health doesn’t improve in a vacuum and I address various aspects of my clients’ lives from sleep to nutrition to hormone changes in perimenopause and beyond.
Additionally, my goal this year is to take the therapy room into the wider world. I enjoy sharing the work I do with wider audiences through articles, podcasts, webinars, panel presentations and workshops. I can be reached at [email protected] to discuss possible ways I can support you and your community.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.vhjoneslicsw.com
- Instagram: @vhjoneslicsw
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vhjoneslicsw
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vhjoneslicsw/
Image Credits
Amber Leilani Photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
