Meet Victoria Cumberbatch

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Victoria Cumberbatch a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Victoria, so excited to talk about all sorts of important topics with you today. The first one we want to jump into is about being the only one in the room – for some that’s being the only person of color or the only non-native English speaker or the only non-MBA, etc Can you talk to us about how you have managed to be successful even when you were the only one in the room that looked like you?

Although, I’ve always been someone that didn’t mind whether I was the only one in the room that looked like me or not [growing up biracial supported me with this], I did find over time that the difference between belonging and acceptance are what really matter.

I ended up in a great conversation with a good friend, KJW, and she brought this idea to my attention and I’ve never looked back.

The idea of acceptance, relies on the subjectivity of others in my space. It relies wholly on their tightrope of perceptions and perspectives, which may not be based in any truth. Desiring acceptance, like Cady in Mean Girls, can often cause us to bend, mold and possibly break in order to be embraced in others’ perception and perspective of anything [success, popularity, etc].

Whereas belonging, is self driven. Within me and reliant on solely me, is whether I believe that I belong here [there, or anywhere]. I get to be empowered in my self agency, which often brings abundance, openness, serendipity and/or unexpected opportunities.

So, in my perspective, I don’t care whether others in the room look like me or not because I choose, in every moment, whether or not I WANT TO belong here.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Moving to Denver, after a year of living the van life, was unexpected. My fiancee and I had no one we knew in Denver and we’d have to start from scratch [again] with jobs, a place to live, and drumming up some community.

It was in this massive emotional and mental space that I got to spend some intentional time going inward. Doing the subconscious work that I’d been putting on a shelf for years. I started with attending a transformational leadership program at the behest of a dear friend [who saw that I was deeply depressed] and, my life simply hasn’t been the same. I learned about which masks, stories and beliefs were running my life without my conscious knowledge. I found that to be supremely empowering and decided to shift.

I began pivoting my company from ‘community management consulting,’ a career I’d been in for over a decade, to coaching. It was a whirlwind of research, training, testing, practicing and eventually I became a certified and credentialed coach, as well as a master facilitator and a breathwork guide.

Inevitably, I got a triple diagnosis of ADHD, PCOS and Pre Diabetes and a new pathway of my journey was set.

I started to connect vital dots between those three diagnoses, anecdotally, because the dearth of adequate science on women is so vast. Women, particularly multi diagnosed women, were seeking me out for more information and wanting to work with me. So I combined all the things I’d learned up to then alongside the techniques that had been working for me, into 2 coaching programs. In these four years, I cobbled together a vision and mission that is beyond what I would have thought possible for me ever before. So, it’s through resilience coaching with a somatic twist that I work with women to untangle the fuzzy web of dis ease by empowering boldness in health, re connecting with each other as our ancestors did and of course, radical neurodivergent acceptance.

And that brings us to current!

So, my current things are: a free masterclass on adventuring with adhd, a 6 week mini mastermind for the multi diagnosed woman with a webinar series running parallel [which is super affordable], as well as a bigger commitment group mastermind that will be begin in March 2025.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

In looking back, there have been several things that I feel are the most impactful aspects of my journey to getting clarity, rediscovering empowerment and moving with my purpose.

Firstly, consistently having a coach has been instrumental. After my experience with my first coach, it was clear that a third party person who was interested in my progression was just the ticket for me. I had someone to go to when I got into my old stories and beliefs, someone to strategize and brainstorm with, and simply someone who’d been where I want to go, before. There are all different types of coaches and it is a bit wild wild west, so my suggestion is to first know what you want, what success would look like for you, and then have a few discovery calls with coaches to see which fit your goals.

Secondly, having a resilient mindset is a key quality that can be rigorously practiced and later honed. As a millennial that grew up in the trophy era, I just don’t believe we were modeled what real resilience looks like and it’s the reason I decided to become a resilience coach instead of leadership. A foundation of resilience is a simple, yet not easy quality that must be solid before whatever the next juncture is [setting off as an entrepreneur, becoming a parent, choosing to get married, etc]. Resilience is a pliable mindset that allows you to swing within the pendulum of life, while remaining certain of the value of who you are, in my opinion. This kind of mindset will allow you to keep getting up, continue pivoting, and experiencing the most juicy parts of life. A great way that I keep this up personally is tracking my wins, choosing to find something to celebrate every day [even if it’s tiny], giving my time and energy to others freely [within reason], and letting people in my life know when I’m grateful for them.

Finally, I’d say having boundaries. The intersectionalities of being a brown millennial woman, mean I often battled fighting, fleeing and people pleasing because I was told to be a good little girl. Over time, that meant I over worked, pushed too hard, persevered to the point of continual burn out and inevitably got to my triple diagnosis. In studying the nervous system for my breathwork facilitator certification, it became clear to me that one of the most pivotal ways I can assure myself of my own continual success would be by getting embodied. Finding ways to bring in presence, rest and groundedness into each day, throughout the day, has been crucial. With more mental space, come inspirational ideas, connected dots, and lower cortisol 🙂 At a bare minimum, eat 3 meals a day, make time to sit and connect with loved ones, walk way more, drink so much more water, journal/meditate/sauna, find your ways to FEEL in your body so you start to recognize when it’s talking to you. There’s no better barometer than your own intuition.

Tell us what your ideal client would be like?

An ideal client for me would show up like this:: a Western woman that has been diagnosed with Au/ADHD after childhood and maybe has a few more diagnoses. She’s either a full time leader or works for herself. She may have children, or believes she wants them. She may be in a relationship, but may be having communication or intimacy difficulty because her cortisol is so high. A woman that wants to do the work of positively adjusting her life sustainably, but not quite sure which direction to take. She may have been previously burned and/or has a salty taste in her mouth around coaches and programs.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://adventuresofcommunity.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/adventuresofcommunity
• Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/victoriamc
• Other: Podcast: tinyurl.com/aitpod

Image Credits

Duke Media [Colton Soref]
FlashTruck