Meet Vie Darling

We recently connected with Vie Darling and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Vie, great to have you with us today and excited to have you share your wisdom with our readers. Over the years, after speaking with countless do-ers, makers, builders, entrepreneurs, artists and more we’ve noticed that the ability to take risks is central to almost all stories of triumph and so we’re really interested in hearing about your journey with risk and how you developed your risk-taking ability.

Risk taking isn’t easy, especially when you’re overcoming trauma related to insecurity, instability, deprivation. It can feel like self-betrayal, especially when the desired result doesn’t immediately pan out.

Many people don’t realize that they’ve even been through trauma because a lot of the time people associate trauma as the worst possible thing happening. Trauma isn’t always physical assault or abuse. Sometimes — and oftentimes — it’s subtle. Neglect is a type of trauma that is deeply insidious but invisiblized by society. And this kind of erasure serves to perpetuate paradigms of abuse and domination, so it benefits harm-doers when we collectively qualify trauma and violence solely as physical. Not getting our needs met is a form of trauma, so even if there was love and emotional support in the home, someone who grew up experiencing hunger or sleep deprivation experienced trauma. It’s so much more nuanced than people comprehend and being able to effectively identify these things — which we can call monsters or demons, if you will — has been an invaluable part of my healing journey and my ability to step out of my comfort zone and take risks.

Trauma makes our comfort zone really small and even nonexistent. We may not even feel safe or comfortable in our own bodies, which means that we’re unable to identify safe spaces outside of ourselves. Without safe spaces, we’re incapable of developing networks of support that can hold and uplift us through the inevitable ups and downs of life that happen whether we do or do not take risks. It makes it impossible to accurately assess the degree of how risky something really is — and people who are still stuck in their trauma programming tend to miscalculate risk and danger too far in either direction or simply bypass any indication that they’re going too far.

Doing the trauma healing work has been crucial to my ability to take risks and effectively show up in my life fully in my power. I needed a healthy foundation to build upon and I never would have been able to develop that had I not first addressed the experiences that caused me to develop C-PTSD. It also has required me addressing my other disabilities, mental and emotional ailments, and issues. I cannot be well if I’m abusing substances. I cannot be well if I’m not treating my ADHD. I cannot be well if I’m denying and ignoring my being on the autism spectrum. It’s simply not possible. Anything I build on that shoddy foundation is sure to fail. It’s easy to blame the decision to take a risk for why something didn’t work out than to address the fundamental problems that destined the endeavor for failure from the beginning.

With a healed foundation, I’m able to be a safe space for myself. As a sovereign being, I’m no longer making codependent decisions and choosing relationships that are self-destructive. I can say no to what I know is not beneficial for me which frees me up to choose what actually is. Because I’ve become a safe space for myself, I have developed a more acute sense of discernment. This allows me to be able to not only identify but cultivate safe spaces in the world around me. Well people do not invest deep, inappropriate amounts of intimacy into emotional relationships with people who are not well. Because of this, I’ve been able to open up more and be more trusting — which is a risk for an abuse survivor. But instead of staying clenched and closed, I’m blossoming. I’m opening up to receiving that which I don’t only want but — as a social animal — biologically need. This process has allowed me to cultivate a loving support system that cares for me deeply and loves me unconditionally. I know this because they’ve proven it, not just because I made it up in my head because it’s what I wanted to be. Effectively taking risk without it being destructive to our self-esteem requires us to be living in objective reality as much as possible.

Now that I know I will be loved no matter what and that there will be people who are not just able to support me but willing and even desiring, I am able to take the leap of faith that I used to only take when I hit bottom and realized that I really had nothing to lose. In this case, I might not have nothing to lose, but I know that whatever that sacrifice is, it’s worth it. If it’s not worth what I could possibly lose by taking this action then I don’t take the action — and it’s that simple. once again it comes back to discernment.

I know on an intrinsic level that wisdom is developed through experiential learning, so I have to fall down and get back up to be able to have that discernment. I’ve done this so many times and I’ve been able to witness how successful it has been for me — regardless of how many times I’ve stumbled or fallen, it’s only ever brought me closer to my goals. This has been the magical combination that has given me the confidence to be able to take risks and dive into the Great Unknown.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I am a non-binary, femme-identifying, pansexual, first-generation Liberian-American multidisciplinary creator, transmutor, revolutionary, and Ethereal Being. My work reflects my observant and highly intuitive nature, blending elements from all realms of creativity to produce deeply felt, poignant works that combine visual and literary elements, creating holistic experiences that engage all of our human senses.

In my youth, I preferred leading faery search parties through woods and reading trash bags full of library books over playing soccer with peers. I spent most of my early education in the renowned and highly competitive environment of Montgomery County Public Schools in suburban Maryland, where I avidly pursued an education rooted in research, creativity, and the written word. Since the eighth grade, I was enrolled in a college-level research program and spent my junior year researching Sidhe and other fantastical beings for a young adult fantasy novel I dedicated my high school years to, titled *The Kingdom Chronicles: Blood*.

In this bourgeois setting, I—a digital native straddling the line between Millennial and “Zoomer”—often felt a persistent sense of alienation. I found solace in the virtual world, embracing the Internet and technology as a sanctuary. I consider myself and others like me pioneers of this digital era, particularly in the realm of social media, where identities born on platforms like Tumblr have influenced many of today’s styles.

At seventeen, I relocated to New York City, breaking free from the conventions of my parochial, elitist environment and old-world upbringing. I was thrust into the harsh realities that my hometown had masked with micro-aggressions and superficial fixes for deeply entrenched social issues. I hit the ground running in New York, quickly founding Clarity X (formerly Viciouss Productions)—a multi-faceted, cross-platform media institution, creative consultancy, and production firm—as a vehicle for producing art projects for my community. Driven by a desire to see creative projects through from conception to completion, I applied skills I developed through apprenticeships and jobs in fashion, philanthropy, and hospitality, along with hands-on learning experiences.

The city became my developmental playground, where I established my artistic identity within DIY communities in lower Manhattan and Brooklyn and built a vibrant online presence. Unafraid of honesty, my outspoken nature has solidified my place in intersectional activist communities, especially in mental health, where I serve as a Sad Girls Club ambassador and founded the mutual aid care network, Clarity Care Network.

After years of studying humanities, systems of faith, supernatural phenomena, and holistic healing, I founded a healing service called The Aetherium (formerly Clarity) in 2018. My practice centers on what I call Cosmic Wellness, operating within the boundless framework of the infinite rather than dualistic scarcity. This practice is pioneering Spiritual Abolition—a thought system and practice focused on liberating all living beings from oppression, exploitation, and the toxic ideologies rooted in colonialism. It emphasizes integrating diverse health and wellness methods into one’s lifestyle and reclaiming and elevating personal power.

Clarity X stands at the intersection of art, education, and community organizing, bridging in-person and digital experiences to empower individuals on their paths to liberation. We believe that true freedom comes from within and aim to provide tools and opportunities for self-empowerment. By reimagining social and cultural institutions, Clarity X has created a platform for the sacred practice of creation. We expertly design intentional spaces that promote optimal creative energy flow, nurturing communities that align with our shared vision. By providing access to essential resources, we empower our community to build a better world together.

I have been published on platforms such as Afropunk, The Freque, The Mighty, Polyester Zine, and the Sad Girls Club blog, where I served as the Resident Astrologer for 1.5 years. My work has also appeared with Montez Press, including in their 2017 Montez x Mathew fellowship publication *The Only Thing That’s New Is Us* and the *Interjection Calendar 004*, where I was featured as the May 2018 artist with my zine *GODDESS I*. In response to the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States, I authored the literary zine *Fuck the Patriarchy* (2017). I published the sequel to *GODDESS I*, titled *GODDESS II*, through Clarity X.

I have participated in various art shows and projects, including as a contributing artist in a group show at Peter Fingesten Gallery (2015, NYC); a fellow of Montez Press x Mathew Gallery (2017, NYC); curator, event programmer, and contributing artist at Powrplnt Gallery with my group show *Death Becomes Her* (2018, NYC); a panelist for *Eminent Domain*, an all-women group show by Art 511 Magazine (2018, NYC); curator, event programmer, and contributing artist at *In Poor Taste VI* at the Ace Hotel (2020, NYC); and a contributing artist to the Haul Gallery group show *TEXTS* (2020, NYC). Having graduated summa cum laude with a BFA in Combined Media from Hunter College in 2022, I am now pursuing a Media Studies MA with a minor in Mindfulness and Contemplative Studies at The New School.

Outside of my academic pursuits, my primary goal is to open a brick-and-mortar spiritual studio and cafe as the in-person home of The Aetherium to serve as a community hub for Clarity Care Network as well as a community art studio for Clarity X to operate out of. With first things first, we are reigniting our mutual aid work while also seeking funding to centralize and ground in so that we may better be of service to our community.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The most important thing you can do is be yourself. As long as you’re trying to be someone else, you cannot fulfill your purpose or experience fulfillment. You also drive away your manifestations. Authenticity is key.

I think it’s also important to trust your intuition. Logic is meaningless in this world without emotion, and emotion is dangerous without logic. I believe the intuition is divine and defies all logic. You may not know why you need to do something but oftentimes when we do it, we find out why we needed to later. Otherwise we can fuck around and find out the hard way, which is also sometimes necessary.

It’s important to maintain a generative perspective. I didn’t say positive because I think that positivity is overrated and realism undervalued. Even if something fucking sucks, it can still be of benefit if we’re willing to put it to good use. Should I have given so many fuckbois my time when I was in my early 20s? Maybe, maybe not. But I did, and there’s nothing I can do to change that now. All I can do is find the silver lining in it to make the experience worthwhile. I feel so resistant to making those harmful choices ever again because I learned my lesson. Obviously I needed to, and better I do it when I was young and it was okay to be so foolish than to do it now when there’s much more to lose. Ignorance is bliss but it’s also dangerous. If I’d never done those things, who knows who I’d be? A life full of mistakes that I have developed tremendous wisdom from is a life well lived. I like myself better than ever, and it’s because of who I grew to be throughout my Journey. I can choose to be grateful or I can choose to live in regret, but guess which one generates prosperity and beneficial experiences and which one is harmful and soul sucking…

To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?

The most impactful thing my parents did for me was more so something they didn’t do. Neither of them ever effectively healed from their trauma, so I inherited absolute chaos and dysfunction. It was hell but I triumphed over it, which has given me a level of confidence that would otherwise be impossible to achieve. I grew up experiencing exponentially less privilege and much more dire straits than my parents, but I guess the character I was able to develop is what makes me of value in my relationships. It’s a lot of what has given me the strength to be as tenacious as I am today. I know I’ve not only survived but triumphed over my worst days so it stands to reason that I will again — at the very least, I know I can. Sure, it warped my nervous system and DNA, but healing that has also given me the invaluable ability to heal others.
In the end, I can’t rewrite the past or make my parents be who they aren’t. But I can find the value in the darkness that was given to me and if I have to choose, I think I’d rather be wise than a fool. That’s just me.

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