We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Vince Morales a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Vince, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
Resilience is a gift I’ve been fortunate to inherit and cultivate through the remarkable women and experiences in my life. My journey, from the challenging days as a homeless veteran to becoming a thriving coach and consultant, has been profoundly shaped by the strength and wisdom of my grandmother, mother, and wife.
My grandmother was a beacon of strength, demonstrating the determination never to quit and to keep working hard. She faced life’s adversities with grace and strength, showing us grandkids that a fire in our belly can never be extinguished, even in the most challenging times.
My wife Michelle has been my anchor, providing constant support and encouragement. Even when we were homeless, and I was fighting shame and failure, she continuously believed in me, even when I doubted myself. As a gift from God, she has been a powerful force in my journey. Her daily demonstration reminded me that resilience is also about love, compassion, and the courage to keep moving forward together. When I gave her no reason to be proud of me as a homeless man, she saw me as a winner, as an extraordinary man.
As a homeless veteran, I learned firsthand the power of resilience. Those grim times tested my limits emotionally, psychologically, and even in my health. Those times also revealed the depth of my inner strength. I learned about grit. I discovered that resilience is not just about surviving but thriving, about turning pain into purpose and using our experiences to uplift others. Resilience taught me to command homelessness to serve me. We ruled it, and we won.
Resilience, for me, is a tapestry woven from these experiences and relationships. It is the relentless drive to transform obstacles into opportunities and to inspire others to find their strength. Each challenge I faced was a stepping stone, leading me to where I am today—a mindset coach, leadership consultant, and motivational speaker dedicated to empowering others to realize their potential and live their best lives. If I work with you as your mindset coach, I will not indulge or baby you. But I will hold space for the extraordinary. Though I will stand with you, I will galvanize you. I will not appease your tolerance for your self-sabotaging mindset. We will stand face to face with the mindset that is hindering you from your personal or professional transformation so you live like a lion.
In the words of Maya Angelou, “I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” This sentiment encapsulates my journey. My resilience is a testament to the incredible people who have shaped my life and the belief that within us lies the power to overcome, grow, and inspire.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps in 1989 and began my law enforcement career in Orange County, CA. We eventually moved to Washington State, where my wife is originally from, to resume my law enforcement career. As our department’s first School Resource Officer (SRO), I was assigned to our high school, middle school, and alternative school. I served as a regional coordinator for Students Against Violence Everywhere (SAVE), an organization that was part of Mothers Against Violence in America (MAVIA).
I was a facilitator/instructor for Schools and Cops Opting for Positive Education (SCOPE), a youth violence prevention program I taught weekly at our high school and our alternative school. Between that class and SAVE, I had the opportunity to coach our students to be a powerful voice in our community and an essential part of our community’s grassroots efforts to deal with our rising juvenile crime issue.
This was my first exposure to a form of coaching, which would eventually lead me to my current profession as a certified life coach. One of the joys of that time was the positive relationships formed with many of those students. Many of my former SAVE and SCOPE students are now adults and follow me on Facebook. The funny stories we share today about those days.
After I left law enforcement, my wife, Michelle, and I went into business. Over the years, my wife and I have started four businesses. Our first two did okay. Our third business was sports videography in the Seattle area. It did very well, but we knew we wanted to leave the Seattle area for San Diego once our youngest child graduated from high school. We were ready for the sun and beach.
We eventually moved to San Diego, looking to transition into real estate videography while my wife pursued a career as a real estate agent. However, after arriving in San Diego, we ultimately determined that neither would work out for us. A year later, we went to Oklahoma to help a group conduct training for their team. We returned to Southern California six months later.
Before arriving, we arranged to house-sit for a relative who was temporarily in another state dealing with personal matters, including a marital separation. The agreement would also allow us to prepare to acquire jobs and housing. During this time, the husband of this relative demanded we leave the residence despite not being ready to move out. We were given three days’ notice to vacate.
Three days later, on April 3, 2016, my wife, three adult-age kids, and I left the residence and returned to San Diego. The problem was we had no housing. What we did not know was a time of homelessness had begun. After attempting to settle (sleep in our car) in the Liberty Station and downtown San Diego areas, we ended up in the Carmel Mountain Ranch area.
Naturally, the first four months were tough. We had to undertake a severe mindset shift to survive. A mindset that is just about survival is an interesting one. A mindset for your next meal, your safety, your mindset about personal hygiene, and how clean you keep your vehicle doubles as your home. It took a different mindset that public restrooms become the place you bathe.
Thankfully, my wife took on a part-time job working morning shifts at a local restaurant in Carmel Mountain Ranch. I was amazed at how she provided excellent customer service each day without anyone knowing we were homeless, except for a couple of co-workers. Four months into our homelessness, our van broke down. A local retailer allowed us to park our vehicle in their parking lot if it was parked towards the back. We were now without mobility, and the van was merely shelter.
Something you do not think much about is how painful homelessness becomes physically. Sleeping every night in a seated-up position poses a significant health risk due to the risk of blood clots. My wife and I both were experiencing a degradation of the use of our legs.
Eventually, I believed I was coming apart emotionally and mentally. My family got together to discuss having me committed to a VA hospital. I was outraged and bitter that the local veteran’s group was not helping us much. Never mind, many other veterans were in similar homeless situations and even worse. Still, you do not think about that when in that position, especially when angry and bitter.
By this time, I had no sense of identity. I did not know who I was. I was a marine, former police officer, businessman, etc., but now, I was just a homeless man. I was another homeless veteran stat. Of course, now my identity as a husband, father, and man was out the window; shame was all I knew by this point. Why was this happening to me? Why me? No one was suffering like me. No one understood my suffering, our suffering.
Then, an extraordinary thing happened on August 16, 2016. I had been reading a book I had read two other times before by John C. Maxwell called “Thinking for a Change.” I took a hard look at my mindset. Naturally, I began looking closely at my mindset because I chose the mindset niche when I launched into coaching. I intentionally and consistently changed my mindset, thinking, and perceptions. I began to wake up each morning, deciding I would inspire, encourage, and empower someone.
My wife, Michelle, and I decided homelessness would have no power over us. We decided to allow no longer self-pity, self-rejection, anger, and bitterness to beat us. We decided then to think, talk, and behave like impact-makers daily. We agreed that when we could, we would feed someone. If even one person. Though homeless, why couldn’t we provide another homeless brother or sister? I stopped thinking I could not coach people because we did not have a home. So, I started coaching clients. Most did not know we were homeless.
Eventually, some found out, but they were immensely moved by the inspiration that their life coach was homeless and never knew I was homeless. I would usually divulge that information if the client tended to sulk in self-pity. Several affectionately dubbed me the “homeless life coach.”
My wife and I learned to thrive amid homelessness. Survival was no longer our mindset. Thriving is what we did—we no longer blamed anyone, any organization, political group, president, presidential candidate, or none. Here is why. The moment we took personal responsibility for our situation, despite how it unfolded, the moment we owned it, we possessed the power to change it. We could not change it if we believed it was some veterans group’s responsibility to care for us. I released my bitterness and anger. I found immense peace and joy amid this experience.
We have renewed faith, hope, and love for people, even as a homeless man. I was healthy again in mind, body, and soul. Finally, while homeless, my wife and I discovered our identity. We found who we were, and finally, it was no longer attached to the jobs we did or the titles we earned. I discovered what it was to be a man, husband, and father without my identity tied to some societal perception of success. I rediscovered true faith in my life. See the images below from our homeless time.
During the first week of June, a group of people blessed me by sending me to my first coaching certification. They paid my tuition, hotel, and food. On June 24, 2017, our homelessness ended. We now had our place to live again. But we found “home” when we decided to change our mindset, and even in that van…we could call home. 447 days our homelessness lasted. We had one cooked meal over that time. Oh, how sweet to have our bed and a private toilet and sleep with my legs straight.
Since then, many exciting things have happened for the “homeless life coach.” 11 months after our homelessness, I became a certified Maxwell Leadership Certified Coach, Trainer, & Speaker, a certified integrative NLP practitioner, became an official contributing member of the Forbes Coaches Council, earned my Masters in Psychology of Leadership from Penn State University, became a Senior Level Contributing Writer for Brainz Magazine, a 2020 Inductee into The National Society of Leadership and Success, Success Magazine Global 500 Honoree, and a Brainz Magazine Top 125 Honoree. I am completing my second master’s in Executive Coaching and Consulting from the Townsend Institute at Concordia University-Irvine.
One of my highlights as a motivational speaker was speaking to an aerospace company developing a jet propulsion system for a mission to Mars project. I was talking to rocket scientists and sharing my homeless story. Typically, when I share about this time, it is in the context of resiliency.
One of the things we learned about our homeless season was never to refer to it as something we had to be sad about at some time in our lives. No feeling sorry for us. It became one of the most beautiful seasons of our life. It has helped shape who we are today. I also do career coaching for transitioning service members and spouses transitioning from military service to the civilian workforce by assisting them with career exploration, resume review, skills assessments, and interview preparation.
Validus Coaching and Consulting, a veteran-owned coaching and consulting business, offers 1–on-1 and group coaching, mindset coaching, self-image mastery, and leadership consulting for individuals, organizations, groups, teams, etc. I also offer integrative NLP services for individuals and am concluding my clinical hypnotherapy certification process. As a certified Maxwell Leadership Coach, Trainer, and Speaker, I can provide Lunch n’ Learns, seminars & workshops, and masterminds on John C. Maxwell’s leadership curriculum. I also offer Maxwell DISC Method Behavioral assessments and training for individuals, groups, and organizations.
Need an inspiring, empowering, and galvanizing motivational/keynote speaker on team building, empowerment leadership, and overcoming limiting beliefs and mindsets? I am available for groups of all sizes, special events, conferences, and seminars. I have a Speaker One Sheet that has more about me as a speaker. As a veteran and former police officer, I offer 1-to-1 coaching for veterans and law enforcement.
As a company, I am most proud (and what sets us apart) is my wife and I navigated our difficult homeless season. Remember, we started as a coaching company while homeless. It was while I was the “homeless life coach” that I got my start. I will never forget how I started and where we came from. We genuinely understand the destructive power of self-pity, self-rejection, anger, and bitterness. We also understand that in a moment, a decision not to allow your circumstance to control you, your mindset, and you are thinking can flip your world right side up.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Reflecting on my journey, I realize three pivotal qualities have been instrumental in my growth: resilience, emotional intelligence, and strategic thinking. Each of these has shaped my path and empowered me to transform challenges into opportunities. Here’s how you can cultivate these attributes to enhance your journey:
Resilience: This is the bedrock of my journey. From overcoming the trials of homelessness to navigating the complexities of military life, resilience has been my constant companion. Resilience is more than just bouncing back; it’s about thriving in adversity. To develop resilience, embrace challenges as learning opportunities. Reflect on your experiences, find the lessons within them, and use these lessons to fuel your forward momentum. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage and believe in you, and never lose sight of your goals.
Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and managing emotions, yours and others, has been crucial in my personal and professional relationships. Emotional intelligence enables you to navigate social complexities with empathy and insight. To cultivate this skill, practice active listening and strive to understand others’ perspectives. Engage in self-reflection to become more aware of your emotional responses. Honing your emotional intelligence will enhance your ability to lead, connect, and inspire those around you.
Strategic Thinking: The ability to see the bigger picture and plan accordingly has been a game-changer in my career. Strategic thinking involves setting clear goals, anticipating obstacles, and devising actionable plans. To develop this skill, set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. Regularly evaluate your progress and adjust your strategies as needed. Seek out mentors and resources that can provide guidance and insight. Strategic thinking will enable you to navigate complex situations with clarity and purpose.
My advice for those early in their journey is to focus on continuous learning and growth. Embrace each challenge as an opportunity to develop these qualities. Surround yourself with a strong support network, seek out mentors, and never shy away from asking for help or guidance. Invest in your personal and professional development by reading, attending workshops, and engaging with communities that inspire and challenge you.
Remember, the journey is as important as the destination. Each step brings you closer to your goals, no matter how small. Stay resilient, develop emotional intelligence, and think strategically. Your potential is limitless, and with dedication and perseverance, you can achieve greatness.
One last thing: Never forget where you came from. No matter what I achieve professionally as a coach, consultant, or speaker, I can never forget that I began this journey as the “homeless life coach.”
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
One book that has profoundly influenced my development is John C. Maxwell’s “Thinking for a Change.” During a particularly challenging period in my life, when I was a homeless veteran, this book empowered hope and transformation. Maxwell’s insights on the power of thought were instrumental in reshaping my mindset and, consequently, my life. No one was coming to save us from homelessness. The mind God gave me would be where impactful change would begin.
The book’s most impactful nugget of wisdom is encapsulated in the quote: “One of the reasons people don’t achieve their dreams is that they desire to change their results without changing their thinking.” This statement resonated deeply, illuminating a fundamental truth: true transformation begins in the mind. Mindset is everything. Here are a few key takeaways from Maxwell’s book that have been invaluable in my journey:
The Power of Positive Thinking: Maxwell emphasizes adopting a positive mindset. During my darkest days, shifting my focus from obstacles to opportunities was a game-changer. Positive thinking doesn’t ignore reality; it empowers you to approach challenges with a solutions-oriented mindset. By consciously thinking positively, I could envision a future beyond my current circumstances, fueling my drive to overcome adversity. I didn’t leverage positive thinking to do positive thinking. I don’t believe in that. However, positive thinking violently shifts the culture of my mind and my thought life and refrains every thought that wants me to engage in self-pity. My thought choices were to empower my circumstances.
The Importance of Reflective Thinking: Reflective thinking allows us to learn from our experiences and make better decisions. Maxwell’s advocacy for regular self-reflection helped me understand my past, recognize patterns, and make more informed choices. This practice not only provided clarity but also instilled a sense of control over my future.
Creative Thinking as a Catalyst for Change: Embracing creative thinking enables us to see possibilities where others see limitations. Maxwell’s insights on creativity encouraged me to think outside the box and explore unconventional solutions. This was particularly crucial as a homeless veteran, inspiring innovative ways to rebuild my life and career.
Maxwell’s teachings underscored that changing my thinking was the first step toward changing my life. I could transform my challenges into stepping stones toward success by cultivating a positive, reflective, and creative mindset.
My advice is to start with your thoughts for anyone seeking to change their results. Embrace the wisdom in “Thinking for a Change,” remember that your mindset is the foundation upon which your future is built. Change your thinking, and you will change your life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ValidusCoaching.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/validusvince/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/validuscoaching
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vincemoralesceo/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1K4qXxl7w9qwsW1VnEgjUg
- Other: Maxwell Leadership
https://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/vincemorales/Senior Senior Level Executive Contributor II – Brainz Magazine https://www.brainzmagazine.com/executive-contributor/vince-morales
Image Credits
Credit: Vince Morales – Headshot
Credit: Vince Morales – Official Speaker One Sheet.
Credit: Vince Morales – Vince and his wife, Michelle (2018), one year after the end of their homeless journey.
Credit: Vince Morales – Vince and Michelle Morales (2019)
Credit: Vince Morales – Vince and Michelle Morales (Jan, 2017) homeless and living in their van. The photo taken is nine months into their homeless journey.
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