Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Wendy Gates Corbett. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Wendy, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
My life purpose is to manifest belonging in myself and others so our divine light shines brilliantly.
I discovered it on my journey to becoming fully who I am. I’m in my mid-50s. I spent most of my life guided by a silent but loud inner voice that said, “You don’t belong here! You’re different!”. They are the words of my 7-year-old neighbor when I was 5 years old.
I’m biracial and am adopted into a white family. While I’ve always known and never doubted that I belong with my family, I internalized my neighbor’s words. I believed that if any of the people I surrounded myself with thought I was different from them, I wouldn’t belong. So I chameleoned for over 35 years, changing to fit in with the people around me out of fear of being excluded.
Once I identified and confronted the voice in my head, I started my internal work to combat it and find my own, louder voice. As I’ve done that, I’ve blossomed into a vibrant, silly, quirky and divine me and I no longer fear not belonging.
I am my source of belonging and no one can take it away from me. I want others to experience the power of belonging to self and the courage to shine. That’s where my purpose comes from.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I’m a business owner: I left a career as a corporate training executive to consult with professional speakers and pro athletes, helping them be more impactful speakers. I became a professional speaker myself, speaking about presence and confidence, and as I progressed in my own internal work on belonging, I started speaking about my story as well.
I now do research on the behaviors that build a sense of belonging in organizations. This amazing work is so exciting because it combines my purpose with my love for understanding organizational culture. I want show that building belonging at work is something every employee has the power to do. My research is showing us how. I use my speaking platform and training expertise to debunk the myth that only leaders can shape culture.
I am an adjunct professor of leadership and management at Duke University. I teach in the graduate engineering programs teaching future engineers how to work with people. It is amazing to see how belonging shows up in my classroom!
I’m thrilled to share that my book, The Energy of Belonging, is in my publisher’s hands and will be published in the next few months (likely early 2024)!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Courage and ability to reflect: once I identified my neighbor’s voice in my head (“You don’t belong here!”), I had a ‘holy moly moment’ as I realized just how long I’d been guided by them. I was mortified to realize the depths of my fear of not belonging. But I had to examine my past, forgive myself (I consider myself to be a strong, confident woman. Fear of not belonging did not fit with how I liked to see myself).
Compassion for self: I slowly learned to practice self-compassion and self-grace, embracing that I did the best I could then and now that I know better I do better (hat tip to Maya Angelou).
Energy guardrails: As I dove into exploring my identity, past and present, I could very easily be consumed by “why did I…?” or “Why didn’t I…?”. Those are ENERGY SUCKERS! I can’t change anything about my past or who I was. Spending energy on wishing I could, blaming myself for not, or judging myself wastes precious energy. The ability to recognize that and redirect myself when I head down that path has helped me focus my energy where it can do good.
My advice: your journey will feel like trudging through mud. Practice each of the qualities.. Curse, pray, breathe (especially big exhales!), and then grant yourself a touch of grace. To practice energy guardrails, I literally shake my head when I start to spiral into an energy hole that doesn’t serve me. I shake my head and say, “not today.” to stop the spiral.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
Two pieces of advice my mom gave me changed my life in two profound ways: 1. As I started my senior year in high school, I wanted to travel from NY to NC to visit my summer boyfriend when he went back to college. My mom said, “If you can find a college you might want to attend, we can both travel to NC to visit the school, and you can see him while you’re down there. But you’re not going down there by yourself.” So I started looking at schools in NC and found the perfect school for me: Guilford College. I never saw the guy again after he went back to college, but he ‘inspired’ me to find Guilford. If my mom hadn’t mentioned the idea of me going to school in NC, I wouldn’t have found Guilford.
2. Fast forward four years: I’m about to graduate from Guilford. I assumed I’d move back home to NY and live with my parents. I called my mom crying saying, “I don’t want to graduate, Mom! I don’t want to leave!”. She said, “You’re about to be a college graduate. Who said you have to come home? Get a summer job while you look for a real job. Give yourself the summer. If you don’t find a job, you can always come home.” I’ve been in NC for 36 years!
The most impactful thing my dad did was to step up when I went to college. My parents divorced when I was young and I lived with my mom. During high school, my dad was not always very present. But when I moved to NC to go to college, I told him I wanted us to speak once a week. To this day, more than 36 years later, we still talk every Sunday.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.wendygatescorbett.com and signature-presentations.com
- Facebook: @sigprez
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/en/wendygatescorbett
