We recently connected with Yane Nemeroff and have shared our conversation below.
Yane, thank you so much for making time for us today. We can’t wait to dive into your story and the lessons you’ve learned along the way, but maybe we can start with something foundational to your success. How have you gone about developing your ability to communicate effectively?
I developed my communication skills by unpacking them. I discovered the best way to communicate is to first understand why I communicate the way I do from the ground up.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My intention in life is to help others help themselves. I discovered that the best way I can achieve my objective is through education. My route to becoming a professor was a Non-traditional one. My “scenic” journey to where I am currently began as a College dropout. After three semesters in college, I realized that my circumstances were not allowing me to excel in school while staying afloat in life. So, I left school to handle life’s challenges, and did not return to College until 5 years later. The reason I left college behind was because I became a father at 21-years old. I couldn’t maintain taking care of my son, keeping a roof over our heads, and my grades. That’s why I left college behind, to take care of my responsibilities.
Until I started realizing that working full time over 50 hours a week was not allowing me to be the best father I could be for my son. I was barely making it, and due to financial struggles at the time, I ended up sleeping in my car with my son. This occurred for the first time when he was 6 months old. Sadly, it wouldn’t be the last. I eventually became a father again to my daughter, and was a single dad taking care of two kids ages 1-and-a-half and a newborn baby. All the while, I was still trying to be successful working 50-plus hours a week, be a present a loving father, and also be good to myself. Things were difficult to say the least, and eventually, I ended up sleeping in my car again. My son was nearing 3 years old at the time, and he was in the car with me. They say that hitting rock bottom can serve as your greatest catalyst. Well, I am a testament to that saying. Because it was in that moment, sleeping on the headrest of my car with my son in the backseat, that I decided to change my life, The decision I took was to return to school.
Not for me, but for the life I wanted to give my children. A life I thought they deserved. This decision occurred in 2006. It took me two years to actually execute the decision and reenroll in school. This was because I needed help. I had to step down from the position I was working at the time and work less hours. I also needed to repair some unhealthy relationships with my family, so I could get help with my kids. Finally, after two years of redefining my life, I was ready to return to school as 26 year-old single father of 2 children, who was returning to school on Academic probation and no financial aid. Despite those challenges, I felt that education was my only outlet to provide the life my kids deserved. It also served as the motivation I needed to overcome those obstacles and achieve my dreams.
You see, I returned to school with a 1.7 G.P.A., needing to retake many courses I dropped out of previously. Despite that, I managed to earn my AA in one-year’s time, and transfer to FAU to purse my Bachelor’s degree.
At FAU, I used this new-found drive and desire to excel in school to earn my Bachelor’s in one year’s time. I went from a Non-traditional student with a 1.7 G.P.A. returning to school in 2008, to earning my Bachelor’s degree in 2010 from FAU, with a 3.67 G.P.A., graduating CUM Laude, and on the Dean’s List my final semester. I managed to earn my Bachelor’s in 2 years instead of 4.
This transformation all happened through a decision that I took while sleeping on the headrest of my car one night, with my son sleeping behind me. It propelled me forward to discover my passion for teaching. It also gave me the opportunity to give my kids a life that they deserved, and as a parent, that’s all you ever can ask for and be fortunate enough to achieve.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
First skill I think is important is to master the art of reframing. I think many people will say qualities like resilience, discipline, and perseverance. I do believe all of those are qualities needed to achieve dreams. But, how do you better those skills? What must you work on to improve those qualities? In my studies and in my experience, reframing thoughts and becoming an expert at doing so is essential to overcoming difficult challenges in life.
Sometimes, our thoughts are our worst enemy. Not sometimes, oftentimes. Some of us are slaves to our thoughts and are incapable of separating ourselves from that mental dialogue. I was in that predicament many times in my life and still spiral on occasion now. But reframing my thoughts and thinking has impacted me immensely. I no longer try to dismiss the thoughts or suppress them. I acknowledge the thoughts arising in my head, and manage to navigate its influence by disassociating with it. Separating myself from that internal dialogue and recognizing that I don’t need to act upon it, and I let it pass. It’s like having a conversation with the thinking instead of it being your only voice of reason. The reframing has helped me be more resilient, disciplined, and positive about myself in difficult moments. It also showed me that change externally in someone’s life always starts from within.
Second, to be reflective of how far you’ve come. Despite my success at overcoming the obstacles I mentioned earlier, I still manage to fail in life. I still fall short and let myself down. Failure, like time, can be constant. When we find ourselves in moments of disappointment, loss, and despair, I think it’s important to reflect back, and see how far we’ve come from previous moments of difficulty. It often nourishes oneself during that difficult time, and can also provide the encouragement needed to push forward “one breath at a time,” knowing that this difficult chapter will also pass, and you’ll be on the other side of it.
Lastly, to find things that move your passions. It was important for me to work in something I love. I found out through trial and error that working without passion does more harm than good in your life. It can lead to more frustration, and more negative mental dialogue that entices you to seek escapes that will only temporarily alleviate the discomfort. Like certain addictions tend to do. Although it is not easy to find a career in one’s passion, it is not impossible. I did not know that I wanted to be a professor until I was 31 years-old. I’ve also known people who worked in fields/careers for thirty years or more, and at the age of 50 years-old, decide to pursue something different. Something they were more passionate about. Because it makes life more fulfilling, and you are happier with the work you do. When you move in the direction of your passions, your life takes on deeper meaning, and create an intrinsic value within yourself that money can’t buy, and vices cannot replicate. Move towards your passions.
To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?
I think my parents gave me one of my greatest lessons, and I believe they did it unintentionally. You see, as children, during our formative years, we tend to idolize our parents. We hold them to a superhuman standard and love them abundantly.
I learned through observing my parents that they are “human.” The fact that they are my mom and dad are just one role they play in their life. They have many other hats they wear on a daily basis. I learned to appreciate my parents for all the hats they wear. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We are taught that our parents love us unconditionally, and I believe both my mom and dad love me this way. Their love for me is immeasurable. But, I did not want that unconditional love to skew my perception of who they really are. I love my parents unconditionally, and I respect them now more than ever before because I love them for who they are, and not for who I expected them to be in my life. This lesson was something that did not come at a dinner table, or late night conversation, I learned this through the experiences we’ve had together, the decisions they’ve made in their life, and the moments where we’ve clashed. Those experiences allowed me to love them for being human, and still trying to be my “super hero,” despite all their imperfections. Understanding that paradox was the greatest lesson they subconsciously gave to me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://libraryguides.mdc.edu/NontraditionalCollege/2023
- Instagram: @yanenemeroff
- Linkedin: Yane Nemeroff
- Other: The Non-traditional Scholar Podcast on Spotify and all other Podcast platforms. https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/yane55
