We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Yulinda Rahman (Rock-man) a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Yulinda , thank you so much for agreeing to open up about a sensitive and personal topic like being fired or laid-off. Unfortunately, there has been a rise in layoffs recently and so your insight and experience with overcoming being let go is relevant to so many in the community.
I worked for the Chicago Public School system for 8 years. I was the chair of the counseling department and the second lowest “man” on the totem pole and when CPS conducted massive layoffs I was one of many to be let go. What makes this even more of a hectic time is that I was newly divorced, not even a year in!
However, I didn’t initially panic, although a newly single mom of three girls under eight I had connections, a large network in the field, and lots of skills and experience. I should be good! Right?
After several interviews, 60 applications, three or four job fairs, phone calls to my entire network, and late-night bended knee prayers I was still without a job and the desperation was slipping into depression.
After knocking my head repeatedly on a door that was refusing to open again I made a decision to completely pivot and use the license I got four years ago but was scared to use. I wasn’t sure what to do or how to get started but the bills needed to be paid. I began researching the process of opening a nonprofit and became completely overwhelmed!
So, I went on Facebook to distract myself from all of my big feelings and came across a post that changed my life…
I got my license to be a clinical professional counselor in 2011 and wanted to go into private therapeutic practice but was too afraid to do so, so I stayed in a position that I was unhappy in until life forced me to make a move!
In a group on Facebook, I found a person advertising that they were looking for clinicians, specifically for clinicians of color, and that they would help onboard the new therapist, market them, help them get paneled with insurance, and provide them office space! I decided to apply. got the job, and as they say, the rest was history.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m Yulinda Renee aka Doc YuRoc, a titillating blend of air, water, and fire energy with my Sun in Scorpio, my Rising in Gemini, and my Moon in Leo! I am a fan of research, science, and all things woo!
I currently operate in three lanes, one is advocating, teaching, and providing supervision to the next generation of therapists via my business Mind Your Mental.
The second is continuing to research and educate on the potential healing properties of “Therapeutic BDSM” as a form of somatic experiencing for people with a history of body-based trauma, specifically sexual trauma.
Last but not least I am deeply committed to providing education and researching the social impact of sexual trauma on and in the Black community while simultaneously creating and providing resources that center Black people’s lived experiences through my non-profit organization, Heal On Purpose Inc.
Right now I am super focused on the yearly activities being hosted by my non-profit. Each month there is a theme and a “Catalytic Conversation” where we come together in community to share our stories, our strengths, and our support.
Our conversation for February was titled “Love Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” where we discussed how our sexual trauma history has impacted our capacity to give and receive love.
Our biggest event so far for this year is in April for Sexual Assault Awareness Month when Heal On Purpose will introduce the inaugural Black Sexual Assault Awareness Week. The week will include daily conversations, assignments, and support culminating in a panel discussion. The theme for the week will be “Shatter the Shame.”
In conjunction, I am continuing to do research for the intervention I developed “Therapeutic BDSM” with a book on the technique scheduled to be released on May 1st, 2024.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
My authenticity. I share me. The good the bad, the light, and the dark, and I do so in a way that invites others to accept themselves in totality.
My capacity to SEE people and create space where they feel safe enough to be vulnerable not just with me but with themselves.
My humor. As serious as I am and can be, I still allow myself to laugh at what is the ridiculousness of life. I am silly, random, and joyful even in my sorrow.
My advice would be to be honest with YOU, that even if you feel you can’t be honest with, or trust anyone else please trust yourself. And if you can’t, ask yourself what happened that made it difficult to do, then lean into that answer, and allow it to lead to your healing.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
I was going to answer the question about collaboration however my number one obstacle is allowing myself to receive and be supported. I have experienced a lifetime of many disappointments that make trusting others very difficult to do. With that being said, I would go out of my way to support others and be taken advantage of and left with deep-seething resentment.
What has helped me with this is a couple of things. First, I no longer focus on the disappointments. I now focus on all the ways I have been pleasantly surprised by life, and there are many, they were just eclipsed by me looking for evidence that disappointment was all I was ever going to have by living my life in a way that invited more of it.
I am working to ask for what I want without this passive-aggressive, beating around the bush, hope they get the hint but they probably won’t so I will be disappointed like I always am B.S. All I was doing was creating evidence that “see people AREN’T trustworthy which is why you have to do everything by yourself.” I am over that. I NEED help and I am allowing myself to know that that is okay and does not minimize me in any way.
I give from my heart-space without agenda, without the hope that maybe if I do for someone else they will see my value and choose me. I have chosen myself, and I remind myself to do so every day because sometimes, I still forget.
Contact Info:
- Website: yulindarenee.com healonpurpose.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yulindarenee.phd/ https://www.instagram.com/healonpurpose.inc/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healonpurposewithyulindarenee
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindyourmental/