Melissa Ng Goldner of New York City on Life, Lessons & Legacy

We recently had the chance to connect with Melissa Ng Goldner and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Melissa , thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What do you think others are secretly struggling with—but never say?
I think a lot of people, especially high achievers, are quietly wrestling with the fear of becoming irrelevant. Not just professionally, but personally the fear that who they were once known as doesn’t matter anymore. It’s that quiet panic when your title changes, your industry shifts, or your priorities evolve, and you’re not sure where you fit now. Most won’t say it out loud because it sounds insecure or self-absorbed. But underneath, it’s really about belonging… wanting to know that your voice, your story, and your work still matter as the world keeps moving.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Melissa Ng Goldner, a former management consulting Partner who spent over 20 years driving transformation, until I realized many of us leading change were quietly breaking down. I founded Malu, a women-led company that integrates therapy and coaching to help people and organizations navigate change where their personal values and professional goals are in alignment,

I also serve as Head of Strategy and Research at Coqual, where I lead work on inclusion, leadership, and the evolving nature of work. Across everything I do, my mission is to help people and organizations realign with who they are and build the capacity to truly thrive.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. Who were you before the world told you who you had to be?
Before the world told me who I had to be, I was a curious, creative, slightly rebellious daughter of two Chinese immigrants who taught me that survival came from hard work and humility. I watched my parents build a life from nothing, and I learned early that achievement was the safest way to earn belonging.

For a long time, I wore that armor proudly, I was a professional awards collector: straight A’s, promotions, titles, etc. until I realized it had muted the part of me that was bold, intuitive, and deeply human. The truth is, before the world told me who I had to be, I was someone who loved to ask why. Why people do what they do. Why are people doing things a certain way. Why we lose ourselves trying to fit in. That part of me never went away, she just had to experience a professional layoff that shook her for her to fight her way back.

What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
One of the defining wounds of my life was believing that my worth depended on how much I achieved. As the daughter of Chinese immigrants, I learned early that success was safety and failure was shame. That belief drove me pretty far all the way to being a partner of transformation at Ogilvy and a partner at a Management Consulting company. Although I succeeded on “paper”, the truth was that I’ve never been more disconnected from myself.

Healing started when I stopped trying to out-achieve my pain and finally sat with it. Therapy helped me name what I’d never allowed myself to feel, the exhaustion, grief, resentment, and fear (emotions that I thought until my 40s I wasn’t allowed to have). Coaching helped me rebuild from there with intention. And motherhood cracked me open in the best way, forcing me to redefine success as presence, not performance. I was desperately searching for a place where we could build the bridge of my therapy and coaching together and a community to do it with. That’s why I created Malu.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
One of the biggest lies corporate culture tells itself is that fulfillment and ambition can’t coexist. We celebrate resilience but quietly reward burnout. We talk about authenticity while asking people to leave their humanity at the door. And we act like success is one linear climb (as if the only valid path is up). But I also believe in the power of a path being inward.

The truth is not all systems were built with everyone in mind. Some of us were taught to survive in structures never designed for us to belong. Having the privilege to step back and design a portfolio life, one that includes purpose, family, and flexibility, has shown me what real fulfillment looks like. But I don’t take that for granted. My work now is about helping others find alignment without needing to burn it all down first.

Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. If you laid down your name, role, and possessions—what would remain?
A person that once was a girl who knows how it feels to be in spaces where you don’t belong, so she’s created lifetime work to create these safe vessels for others to see themselves, give themselves grace and thrive.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.malujourney.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malujourneyllc/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/malujourney/

Image Credits
Mara Dockery
Yemariam Mamo