We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Alanna Sterling a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alanna, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
I’m no stranger to mental illness. In fact, we’ve been like a family since I was young. I’ve been in therapy since I was 4, and am continuously making efforts to work through all the battles that go on unseen in the corners of my mind. As a survivor of abuse, I’ve managed to find solace and respite in my music to ease the wounds of PTSD, anxiety and bipolar depression. All of the obstacles I’ve faced, the times where life’s been too hard and I felt like giving up – instead of fighting it and wishing I could be anyplace else, I just accepted where I was at. I turned that pain into lyrics, and then coupled that with music to create songs. My journeys through the highs and lows of life are captured into these musical movements, and it’s through that expression that I can overcome my internal battles. Not only does songwriting and performing help me work through my mental illness, but it also gives me a platform to connect with others. I think the most important thing to remember is that you’re never alone, there’s always someone out there who’s going through something similar and shares your pain. Finding that connection is deeply healing. And knowing that I can help someone find that connection by listening to my music, well, that gives me purpose, and a drive to carry on.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Alanna Sterling is all about creative expression. Whether it’s through music, poetry, art, dance, comedy… finding your inner voice and unleashing your true colours in a feat of radical self-acceptance.
Through my music streams on Twitch under the alias “MermaidUnicorn”, I’ve managed to connect with thousands of people all over the world. I perform music on my live broadcasts and take requests from the chat feed, but also make space to talk about world issues and people’s personal problems. It’s musical therapy. My streams are a safe space to be open about LGBTQ+ issues, mental health, disabilities, or chronic illness. As a community, we help each other through the tough times with social connection, music, tears and laughter.
The most exciting part of my career is the one-on-one connections I’ve been able to make. I receive messages from strangers who confide in me saying that I gave them the confidence to come out to their parents, or that my songs about depression inspired them to keep pushing, that I’m the reason they’re still alive. Those moments make me feel fulfilled and validate that I’m doing the right thing with my life.
I released my full length album, Mind/Matter, in 2022 as a love-letter to those battling mental illness. The EP takes you on a journey through the battles of insomnia, impostor syndrome, abuse, depression, and anxiety. It’s a musical diary that enables the listener to fully open up and let the emotions flow, so that the wounds can heal. I’m so excited to say that not only did I write, perform and co-produce the whole album, but I also designed all the art as well and got it pressed into my first ever vinyl records! It truly was a labour of love and I’m extremely proud of myself and the impact the album has made on the world.
In my career right now, I’ve just come out of hibernation mode where I’ve written 4 albums worth of songs. I’ve applied to some grants and am gathering funds to record this music and hope to release over a dozen songs in 2024. Everything is under wraps right now, but I can’t wait to share it all once it’s ready.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Authenticity. Radical self-acceptance. Empathy.
Authenticity – it’s so important to be real. I don’t wanna see only the positive moments on my social media feed, because it paints a false picture of reality. I go through chronic illness and pain, I battle with my own mind most days, and I’m not afraid to speak out about it. On my good days, I laugh. But on my bad days, I bear my tears with pride. I’ll never try to pretend to be anything other than what I am. My advice to others is to figure out who you are when nobody’s in the room. Sit with your thoughts and think about your core values. Don’t bow into the pressure that you need to be a certain way, just be you. That way, the connections you make will be real and everlasting, and not based on superficial lies.
Radical Self-Acceptance – Loving yourself in a world that tells you not to. As a cog in the machinery that is the music industry, I’ve experienced loads of pressure to conform to a certain standard of “what music should be”. And instinctively, I’ve witnessed the thought that my music isn’t good enough if it doesn’t fit that mold. I threw away that thought. I love my music, even if some of my songs are weird. I love my wacky rainbow hair, even though it’s not normal. I love my awkward ADHD self, even though some people might think I’m annoying. Social media wants you to hate yourself so it can sell you more products to fix you. But the most radical, rebellious thing you could do, is just love yourself. You don’t need any fixing.
Empathy – Everyone is going through it. This thing called life, which we were not prepared for. There’s no guidebook, but there is lessons to learn from others. Listen often, reach out to those who might be in need. Find ways to see things from a bigger perspective and as you see the grand view of the world and all these tiny little humans going through their own lives, you’ll find more kindness in your heart for others as well as yourself. We all just want to feel like we belong, and we all have hard times. It’s easy to get mad at someone who hurt you when you can’t see that they’re hurting in the first place.
What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?
My biggest area of growth has been focusing on myself, and not just my career. As a performing artist, the lines often blur between who I am as Alanna Sterling, the performer, and who I am as Alanna Sterling, the human being. I got caught up in being my brand and being this grandiose rockstar who can do it all, meanwhile, the human underneath that collapsed inward with burnout and low self-worth.
I’ve started investing more time into fitness, cooking new healthy recipes, meditation, trying new challenging things. Making new friends, getting rid of the friends that no longer share my vision for life, and making time to go out there and live life. These things don’t directly make my music career grow in the same way that recording, rehearsing, performing, or writing do. But they make a huge impact on my overall health and well-being, which in turn, makes me a better musician.
It’s really important to invest in yourself. Time spent taking care of yourself is never time wasted. So even though I’ve taken a bit of a step back from performing (only 0-2 performances a week instead of 3-5), I believe it’s exactly what I needed to do to grow as a human. Now I feel more prepared to tackle whatever crazy paths my career takes me on.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.alannasterling.ca
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sterlingsilversinger
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlannaSterlingMusic
- Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/alanna_sterling
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/AlannaSterling
- Other: https://www.twitch.tv/MermaidUnicorn
Image Credits
Jen Bernard Scott Martin Misty Meadows
