Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Anastasia Totok. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Anastasia, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
9 years ago I changed my career for the second time in my life, starting from scratch. I felt my destiny, 100% coincidence with the ideas that were floating around in my head. There was one “but”: all the surrounding colleagues and clients looked at me as an eccentric, talking too enthusiastically about some things incomprehensible to business, they didn’t want to hire me as a consultant, because they didn’t understand what to pay for and came to my free seminars rather like going to a circus. 7 years later, I became a leading specialist in this area in the CIS, and it was this knowledge that 2 years ago helped me move as an extraordinary specialist to the USA and start building a career again from scratch in a new country at 38 years old.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I was born in a small town in Russia, at the foot of the Ural Mountains in the Southern Urals. My dream was to live in Moscow. The first challenge was to break out of the small town and move to the capital. After rigorous preparation, I managed to get into law school. The next challenge was to find a job as a lawyer amidst tough competition from graduates of more prestigious universities. I started as a secretary in a company, where I was noticed by the head of the legal department. My career quickly gained momentum as I proved to be talented in representing our company in court and defending our interests. Over 7 years of practice, I handled over 200 cases in corporate law and lost only 1. But over time, I began to realize that something was amiss. My actions began to conflict with my moral and ethical principles. I left at the peak of my legal career and became an entrepreneur. I got married and started living a normal life without the extreme demands of legal work. One day, I injured my leg and couldn’t go to the gym for several months. I turned to softer practices – yoga. That’s how I entered a previously unknown world. Twelve years ago, my journey to understanding the world through deep processes rather than just information began.
By that time, I had transitioned from entrepreneurship to the realm of business consulting. In the market, I was known as a negotiation trainer and mediator. Yet, my legal practice didn’t leave me unaffected. And then I became the only one in the room of business consultants who started talking about the fact that a leader’s success and that of their company depends on what happens within the leader, how important their wisdom is, not just their knowledge. I began conducting workshops, talking about the importance of intuition for a leader. After a couple of years of searching, I met Dr. Otto Scharmer, a senior lecturer at MIT, who talked about exactly the same thing. I went to study with him and brought this approach to Russia and the CIS countries. That’s how I got into the topics of global social innovation, impact, and sustainable development.
The whole market saw me as crazy. I spoke at all the largest conferences in the country. People were inspired, ignited, but they didn’t understand anything. I was like an exotic fruit or an animal in a zoo: very interesting, but not understandable. I hardly had any paid orders. Sometimes I had to choose between buying food for my cat or allowing myself a manicure.
After many years, when my passion for Theory U and the human-centric approach to organizational development brought me fame and high fees, people asked me: how did I have the strength not to give up and pursue something more conventional, and how did I know that sooner or later it would work out.
I didn’t know. Would I have chosen something easier and more understandable if I had a choice? Of course, yes! But I didn’t have a choice. Never did.
Throughout my life, starting from jurisprudence, entrepreneurship, and now social innovations, I’ve only engaged in what I truly believe in. What I wholeheartedly devote myself to. For me, there’s no distinction between work and hobbies; I do what I love. I didn’t choose Theory U; it was the idea of ecosystemic leadership embodied through Theory U that chose me. I didn’t choose yoga or becoming a qigong instructor; the path led me to them. My task was just one – to listen and hear myself and the future that wants to manifest through me. Total belief in the call of my heart. I didn’t have a choice because the call of the heart, or perhaps the soul, I don’t know what, but something much greater than me, showed only one path. No discussions. And even when for 7 years people laughed around me, gave orders to others, told me to focus on normal topics, I continued doing what I believed in.
In November 2019, there was a breakthrough, and I brought the author of Theory U to Moscow. There were 1000 people at the lecture. Two months later, the pandemic happened, and I spoke a lot online in Russia and the CIS, completed several major projects, including charitable ones. In spring 2022, I had to leave my home country because topics of democracy and social change became unwelcome and even dangerous for their carriers. I came to the USA and obtained an O1 visa for specialists with extraordinary ability, based on all my work over the past 7 years in the CIS. The work that few believed in, but I didn’t stop doing it.
Now I live in San Francisco, I am the Chair of Leadership and Organizational Culture Committee in The United Nations Association of the United States of America, San Francisco Chapter, and I develop culture and organizational structure in a mental health startup.
If I were to sum up my journey: was it tough and challenging? Yes, very much so. Do I regret it? No, only grateful. Would I want to repeat it? No, never.
Several times I wanted to give it all up. I grew tired of being different and having to prove that I’m not some exotic creature, but rather, I’m saying and doing things that matter. And in those moments when I felt defeated, it seems only higher forces supported me and didn’t let me give up. Also, my belief that the heart cannot be wrong. In fairness, I’ve been very stubborn since childhood, and if I believe in something, I won’t back down.
English isn’t my native language, and I want to achieve the same level of freedom of expression as in Russian. Right now, it’s easier for me to write than to speak. That’s why I created the Telegram channel “From Law to Wisdom” (@law2wisdom), where I share knowledge and experience about stages of personal and company development and unlocking potential, gathered over 20 years of business experience, 12 years in qigong, yoga, and reiki, and based on case studies of my clients in 10+ countries. I’ll be happy to see you there!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
4 qualities:
1. Trusting your gut/heart/soul. If something feels right for a long time, it’s not just a feeling.
2. Being stubborn. The journey will be tough. The same ideas come to millions of people’s minds, but the one who doesn’t give up and keeps crawling toward their goal, even when they can’t walk anymore, wins.
3. Asking yourself not why this difficulty to me, but what for. What lessons can I learn from this to move toward my goal even more easily and with greater joy.
4. Never betraying yourself!
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
Of course, first and foremost, my mother. It was she who supported me when I left the prestigious profession of a lawyer for the unknown. She said, “If you feel it, do it, give it a try.” She provided me with a lot of emotional support along the way, and even financially when it was necessary to pay for expensive education in the USA and Germany. In general, my family – my grandmother, grandfather, and mother – invested so much love in me that I have always been very brave and adventurous from childhood. They never scolded me for scraped knees when I tried to ride a bike; they only helped me heal.
The second person is Dr. Otto Scharmer, who believed in me and truly saw me, recognizing that my ideas weren’t crazy. Thanks to him, I started to think and act globally, rather than just at the level of one country.
And of course, all my teachers in spiritual practices, especially Arawana Hayashi and her body practice SPT. They are guides to wisdom, to the very center of oneself.
Every person is my teacher. Because we don’t meet anyone who doesn’t reflect a part of us. Through others, I come to know myself.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://thesocialbridges.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anastasia_sanfrancisco
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anastasia.totok
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/totokanastasia/
- Other: Telegram https://t.me/law2wisdom
Image Credits
Anastasia Totok
