We were lucky to catch up with Anna Astwood recently and have shared our conversation below.
Anna, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
In the darkest, hardest, most painful experience of my life and no, it wasn’t the trauma itself, I found it in the choice to start healing from the trauma. At 12 years old I was sexually assaulted at school and was involved in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship in high school for 2 1/2 years. Those experiences were terrible and traumatizing but it doesn’t hold a light to making the choice to talk about it and choose to start the healing process. After spending several years processing the trauma and doing counseling and EMDR treatments I felt a pull, a pull that scared me, a pull that I never saw coming. I spent 11 years as a high school counselor and really enjoyed working with the students and I knew from that experience that no one was talking about teenage dating violence and it was happening all the time.
The pull kept pulling and I felt this crazy drive to start a non profit about teen dating violence. I am an introverted person, who doesn’t really like to be in the spotlight, starting a non profit doesn’t really fit to who I thought I was. I sat and thought about it, I have experienced things that truly changed my life and made it through, I have the deep desire to help anyone in a similar, and hopefully prevent those from experiencing abuse. I have a fire in my heart to do something about this, it isn’t ok and yes it is uncomfortable but maybe I can save one life. One life is important and worth me being uncomfortable.
It’s been 3 years since I started Love Doesn’t Hurt. When I speak to kids, teachers, parents, administrators and counselors I feel alive, I feel confident that what I am doing with my non profit is what my purpose is. Somehow I was able to survive the abuse and assault, after working so hard in counseling (and honestly I will work on this forever) I am able to stand up and work to help the teens in our community.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am the co-founder of Love Doesn’t Hurt, a local 501c3 non profit that is working to end teenage dating violence through education, empowerment and community support. I love to go into schools and do presentations/workshops for students, parents, teachers, administrators, and counselors about how to develop healthy relationships, create boundaries, where to go for help, develop safety plans and so so much more!
Last year we started Love Doesn’t Hurt clubs in local high schools and middle schools! We are currently in development for elementary schools to start clubs learning how to create healthy friendships. Having healthy friendships will lead to healthy dating relationships.
This school year (23-24) I started the first community Love Doesn’t Hurt club at my house. I invited high school and middle school students from my neighborhood and we meet once a month on a Sunday afternoon.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I think the most important thing that has helped me is truly believing that I am worthy of doing something like this. Believing that my story is important and that I can do hard things. Making the choice to heal is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is scary and vulnerable to tell someone you were assaulted as a 12 year old and that you had been abused in a high school dating relationship. The flashbacks are horrible-you can feel that person, you can smell them-you relive the experience. As time went by I got stronger and was able to talk more about it and I knew I was healing-I will always be in the healing experience and some days are harder than others. I became proud of myself and as the non profit grew it reaffirmed that I can do things that I thought were impossible.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
When I get overwhelmed I have to stop and take a break from whatever I am doing. Many times when I get the feeling of being overwhelmed I start the negative self talk and tell myself I can’t handle what is happening or that I am clearly not good enough. So, I have to stop and do something else to reset my mind. A counselor helped me create “my team”, which is people in my life that love and support me. When I have these negative feelings I am to think about what would they tell me. Since our loved ones are so much more supportive and provide that positive self talk when I can’t. I also love to make lists, so if I have a big project to work on, I break it down into small steps in list form and slowly check off the things that need to get done. Seeing the checkmarks helps feel like I am accomplishing things and I can move forward. I also, chunk things per day. So, I realistically will look at the to do list and say, ok these are the things that I can get done today and set aside the rest for another day.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.lovedoesnthurtinc.org
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovedoesnthurtinc/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LoveDoesntHurtInc
