We recently connected with Annette Wasden and have shared our conversation below.
Annette , we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
Honestly, I believe I developed my resilience from birth. I look back over my 55 years of life, and I recall many, many situations, events and circumstances where I had to “choose” to withstand and recover from difficulties and many tough situations. I was either going to sink or swim in adapting to difficult and/or challenging life experiences. I developed mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and learned to adjust to external and internal demands put on myself, teachers, parents and society.
I had the privilege to be born as the oldest child of seven into a very dysfunctional family. Where my father, we found out later in his life, is high functioning Autistic/Asperger Syndrome. We knew he was different and suffered from OCD (Obsessive-compulsive disorder), but had no idea what his diagnosis was until he was in his 50-60’s. My mother exhibits many Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder traits, although she has never been formerly diagnosed. As the oldest child of this family, and because of the dysfunction in the home, the responsibilities fell on my shoulders a significant amount of the time. Especially when it came to helping my parents with my siblings and around the house.
Both my parents chose to be educators in the Salt Lake Valley for most of my growing up years. My mother owned her own childcare businesses, until she retired last year in 2022. My father worked in the public school system and continued his career in Southern Utah, after their divorce of 27 years, he is also now retired. Both my parents were great examples of hard workers and encouraged great education, work skills and work ethic traits. By far this is really what so many of my siblings and I received from them, the drive to work and make a difference in life. Because of my home life, I recall at the age of 9-10, I began babysitting for money. From then on, I continued to work. I remember saying to myself as a young woman…Work with a “passion”. Work from “my heart”. Work for a “purpose”. I learned this because of the great examples both my father and mother demonstrated throughout their lives. In this area of life, I am truly blessed.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am a survivor of indescribable abuse, I want to encourage others of ALL ages to help them heal and find their “true-self” again – in order to truly heal and move on in their life. I am a suicide survivor of over 23 years. I survived childhood abuse and neglect, have suffered multiple physical health conditions, hospital admissions, and surgeries. I have also survived the devastating loss of my oldest son; Jeffery James. My personal diagnoses are PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), C-PTSD (Complex PTSD), Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Eating Disorders, Addictive Behaviors and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).
My deepest desire is that my story will help, encourage and educate those who suffer from mental health issues and are striving to overcome them. I want to help individuals with their own struggles. I want to help them understand the how, what and why that drives many of their behaviors in their own lives. I believe it is important to understand how experiences, such as toxic relationships, impacts all areas of someone’s life.
My first book “The Butterfly Experiment; how to heal and transform your life”, guides readers on their transformation process – how to fully heal from abuse in order to find love and acceptance for the self and others. I grew significantly as an individual, teacher and mentor from writing this book and getting my story out there. After this book was published, and the response and out poor of individuals needing and wanting help, I decided to open my own publishing company and write more books to impact even more lives. This company “Become A Better You LLC” was opened this year on March 23rd, 2023. I will be publishing three more self help books at the beginning of 2024. “Like A Butterfly, My Complete Metamorphosis; It’s time to spread your wings and fly”, “Just Bee”, and “Look Up”. I will also be publishing three children’s books, “I’m NOT BROKEN; I just have a different purpose”, “Boston & The Cricket; overcoming childhood anxieties, doubt and perseverance”, and “Cops & Robbers/Black Lives Matter; We have great community helpers…of ALL colors, race and ethnicity.” I look forward to reaching many more individuals in the coming year with these six books
I currently have 5 areas that I am extremely passionate about in helping others to heal. 1,) Self Acceptance and Self Love, 2.) Becoming Financially Independent, 3.) How to have a Healthy Sex Life after Sex Abuse/Trauma, 4.) Overcoming medical diagnosis/labels, and learning how to begin reversing those diagnoses/labels, 5.) Spiritual Transformation. I will be teaching courses and working with individuals in these areas in early 2024.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
One of my biggest gifts and qualities is that I am an empath (a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual). I didn’t know anything about this until 7-8 years ago. I had a mentor/wellness coach and chiropractor educate me on this gift and quality. As I started to study it, I realized that even as a young child growing up the way I did, that I was given this gift to survive and to understand so many other individuals who have gone through similar situations in their own lives.
I believe my life experience has been one of my greatest qualities. I don’t have a degree from an accredited college…I say that my own degree is from “the school of hard Knocks.” I have learned a lot from my own life experiences mentioned previously. I believe I’ve graduated with a 4.0 in this area of life because I’m still here to tell about all of these life experiences. I have learned a lot throughout my life that I use to further my life daily. I have learned that maintaining a sense of humor despite challenging life circumstances helps tremendously.
My perseverance has been a driving factor in my life. It has led me to follow my dream of opening my own childcare center that I have been successfully running in Davis County for five years. I began studying early childhood development and have received certificates from Utah State University and Weber State University through Care about Childcare. Now this drive has pushed me to follow my dream of writing, teaching, and helping improve the lives of as many people that I can.
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
First of all, Dr. Richard Frank who in 2012, diagnosed me with PTSD and helped educate me on this diagnosis. He also introduced me to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) which has been extremely helpful in my own healing journey. After his retirement I was blessed to meet Katrina Appiah who is my current therapist. She continued with EMDR, introduced me to Lifespan Integration, and is currently working with me in Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Contact Info:
- Website: www.annettewasden.com www.becomeabetteryou.me www.time2bekids.com
- Instagram: @wasdenannette
- Facebook: Annette Wasden and Time2BeKids
Image Credits
Kelli Ann Morgan
