Meet Ash D. Collins

We were lucky to catch up with Ash D. Collins recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Ash D., really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
There is a lot of pressure on people to find the ‘one thing.’ The one partner. The one job. The one house. The one purpose. As if that ‘one thing’ will be checked off a long list of what we must complete in this life. This creates a problem when we find ourselves unable to attain or hold onto this singular ideal. I have had many goes at finding my purpose in my life. When I was young, my life was about survival. It felt like I had no purpose, but in truth, I was laying the groundwork for the life that would follow. In early adulthood, I tried on many hats. I tried to enlist in the military. I tried to make it in dozens of jobs. I even spent much too long rebelling against society as I embraced the counterculture. I ventured on each path but when I got too far or too deep or too bored, I hit an invisible wall that changed my course. I spent a long time looking for my calling and, because I could not find it, I felt dysfunctional and unequipped for the world.
When I went to college, I changed my major, at least twice. By my senior year, I no longer wanted to make a career in my major, but I stuck out my education to graduate, to finish, and to have something tangible. Being able to complete my degree did wonders for my outlook on life. It changed my outlook on myself.
It has only been in the past decade or so that I started writing. I never expected much to come of it. I got some freelance work at a newspaper called the Alvidende Press back before I went to college. My column, like the paper, was short-lived. I learned a lot and started writing freelance articles. I did this for a few years to earn money while getting my undergrad. I must’ve written on every topic imaginable; Tower climbing, how to choose the best electrician, proper brushing techniques, a lot of SEO stuff.
Because I like to stay busy, I was also volunteering at a local women’s prison, teaching magic, spirituality, and how to beat the cycle of recidivism to the women there… many of whom I had been locked up with only a few years before. Prison volunteer work is some of the most meaningful volunteer work a person can do. Years later, I still think about those women and hope that they have all found their way out of the cycle.
Back to purpose and how I found it. I was doing this volunteer work and I expressed to my co-chaplain, Carridwen, that I wish there was a way I could reach more people in prisons. This is when the idea for my first book, Paganism for Prisoners, was born. When my publisher agreed and I got my first book contract, it felt unreal. A few months later we went into lockdown and I spent the next two years alternating between taking classes and writing. I finished my second book, Paganism on Parole, around the time I finished my degree.
Bachelor’s degree done and two books under my belt, I noticed that writing was still something that I wanted to do. That had never happened to me before. I changed hobbies and interests like people changed socks. Writing was still there, strong, calling to me. This meant something. It still means something.
I can’t say my purpose on the planet is to write. Perhaps it is just a vehicle I use to express all that is inside me. But I like to think that my books will impact at least one person. And that person, as a result, will go on to make better choices, to institute change in their life, and by doing so will add to the ripples of interaction that make their way from person to person and place to place. If this happens, then I will consider my work a resounding success.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am still awestruck when I think about how my life looked ten years ago and compare it to my life now. Perhaps it is cliché to talk of time and change as if they are synonyms, but they do march hand-in-hand. I have two writing personas. My books and articles on magic and spirituality are written under Awyn Dawn. My works of fiction, I write under Ash D. Collins.
Under the nom de plume Awyn Dawn, I write books and other content that are meant to inspire spiritual change. Paganism for Prisoners and Paganism on Parole are sort of spiritual “how-to’s” for people who have found their way into the prison system. These first two books were labors of love. 111 Magic is more far-reaching. It is full of meditations and magic that anyone could use to help initiate change in their lives. I remember a time in my life when I was searching for something, anything, that would give me direction. It is my hope that these books will be tools people can use to find their own directions.
While I am sure that Awyn Dawn has many other books in her future, I have started branching into literary fiction under the name Ash D. Collins. My work in progress explores cross-generational trauma and its impact on memory. It delves into the very nature of humanity by asking the all-important question ‘why?’
Mental health, memory, and self are common themes in all of my work. Some of this is because of my lived experience. Some of it is inescapable. A lot of people don’t know this, but I spent a few years training as an addiction counselor and my undergrad was in integrative health care, examining whole body wellness.
In addition to being an author, I am also a public speaker, workshop leader, women’s advocate, amateur photographer, and a lifelong student. I’m finishing up my MFA in creative writing and look forward to what comes next.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Fearlessness. Fear is one of the biggest influences on how humans behave. Sometimes it is necessary to run from the source of your fear. When you are an artist, a writer, or a creator, you will have to learn when to run toward the source of your fear.

It’s okay to fail.
I can’t even list all of the things I have failed at in my life. It is okay to fail. These failures were doing me a favor by getting out of my way. There is only so much energy I have to expend during the day. When I am following a path that is not beneficial and it fizzles out, I have become accustomed to asking myself why. Some aspects of life are not meant for me. I can still appreciate the night sky without being an astronomer.

Don’t fight against the current of life.
A river flows downhill because that is its most natural direction. It may wind and snake and swell along the way, but it doesn’t waste time by trying to go uphill. There is an undercurrent in each of our lives, pulling us in our most natural direction. I think many of us ignore this current because we want to go a different way, we fear we are not good enough, or because we are trying to live up to the expectations of another. But when we finally find the current and let ourselves be led by it, life seems smoother, even when we are faced with challenges.

We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
I think it is most important to know ourselves and to be able to see ourselves honestly. I love the theories in physics, but I don’t enjoy math. This is probably why I am not great at it. I can work to improve my math skills, especially regarding financial acumen, but they’ll never be good enough for me to be a physicist. I have accepted this about myself. This flaw does not undermine my character. It is not a commentary on my intelligence. It just is, so I let this one be.
On the opposite end, I wanted to learn French. So, I have been learning little by little for a year and a half. I am now taking classes in a university setting. There are times it would have been so easy to quit, but I am invested. So I keep going. This is not an excuse to let my writing skills get rusty. I still need to practice. I just try to find the balance between what is familiar and known and what is exciting and new.

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