Meet Ashley Irizarry

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ashley Irizarry. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ashley below.

Hi Ashley , thank you so much for making time for us today. Let’s jump right into a question so many in our community are looking for answers to – how to overcome creativity blocks, writer’s block, etc. We’d love to hear your thoughts or any advice you might have.
Creativity is a loaded term; people think of it as something you either have or don’t have, as if it’s a magical gift, or an inherent quality some people are born with and others aren’t.
What I’m trying to say is that creativity is not a thing you have or don’t have, it’s not something you can “lose” or acquire. Our society still talks about creativity as if it really is a group of ancient Greek goddesses that grant divine inspiration to the truly worthy (or lucky).

But as an artist and writer, I had to move beyond this mindset and learn that being creative is more of a practice, it’s a discipline, not a quality only certain people are gifted with. I can become more creative by simply creating, rather than waiting for the inspiration to strike at random.

I grew up having people tell me I was creative—I was the kid who doodled on my homework, created elaborate school projects and fantastical pieces in art class; I was good at spinning exciting stories at the drop of a hat. It was nice to be thought of as creative, but it created an internal pressure to produce—I had to be creating something that was tangible and visible to others. I became paralyzed by my need to create something perfect and amazing, and that stifled my creative instinct.

And when creativity—that divine spark of inspiration—didn’t move me, I was forced to fall back on my work ethic and personal discipline to finish my creative projects. I have dozens of unfinished story ideas on my computer, half-finished paintings, and a list of great ideas for another art piece in the back of my mind. The creativity that sparked those ideas came easy, but I can’t rely on the spark alone to carry me through to finishing something. Creativity gives me the start, but discipline brings me to the finish.

And so I don’t rely on creativity to create my art or writing—I rely on self-discipline and goals to get me to the finish line. And I find that when I stay with the project, instead of starting and abandoning it once the creativity “is gone”—I’m able to generate more creative ideas along the way.

At the same time, it’s hard to do creative work like painting or writing fiction without that measure of inspiration, so if I’m really stuck on piece, my first instinct is to step away from the project. A short break (not a months or years-long hiatus) gives me the chance to breathe and then I can return to the project with more energy and fresh eyes that can break a creative block. Coming back to the piece gives me the chance to see the project from a new angle, or helps me recognize an area I can change and that inspires me to keep working.

My other go-to for dealing with a creative block is to work on a completely different creative project for a short time—if I’m working on a book and feel stuck, I’ll switch to writing a different book for a day or two. If I’m unhappy with a painting and don’t know what to do to fix it, I’ll start a new one. It’s another chance to step away from the pressure of finishing and give my mind a break. But it’s easy to get addicted to the joy of starting something new, so I always pick a new project that is similar enough to my “stuck” current project so it gives me the chance to work through the blocks by proxy. It’s always a good move to keep creating something when I’m stuck, more creative work is a sure way to generate new creative ideas.

Another favorite, especially if I’m very, very, stuck on a project, is to look at others’ creative work—not simply for ideas, but to give me a new perspective and a break from my own work. I might check out a favorite art blog to see someone else’s work and it gives me an idea that helps me work through a rut in my art practice. Or if I’m writing, I’ll read a lot of books, especially books that are similar to what I’m writing. I might take a short course to help me refine an existing skill or develop a new one and that nurtures my creative practice. Immersing myself in more creative work always inspires me and reminds me to keep creating.

So for me, creativity is something I practice and cultivate by simply doing. Creativity can come out of nowhere, but more often than not, creativity comes by creating or surrounding myself with creative work.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a visual artist and writer. I’m a painter and mixed media artist who creates colorful and vibrant abstract paintings that speak to the internal chaos I experience as a sensitive person living with anxiety and depression. I’m a professional writer who specializes in writing and editing academic papers and grant writing; I also write fantasy and science fiction short stories and novels.

I started an art business after I left an abusive job just to have something to do while I looked for a “real” job. A year and a half later, I haven’t found that “real” job but I’m still working to grow my art business and finishing my next novel. I haven’t become a millionaire or world-famous artist (yet), but I am still working to gradually expand my art business through blogging and promoting my work on social media (follow me @SleepyCritic on Instagram!) and searching for opportunities as an artist. I work with a few galleries and my art is for sale is on Artsy.net so I feel lucky to have gotten this attention on my work in the past 2 years.

My mental health struggles are a big part of my art and writing so I want to be honest about where I am emotionally when I talk about my work. The past several months has been very hard, and I haven’t worked at my art or even my writing as much as I want to. I think I made one new painting in the past six months and I haven’t written anything new on my blog for a long time.

I have to admit I’m discouraged lately and haven’t done much with my art business. It’s hard to keep working without results—or rather, monetary results. I feel a lot of pressure to make my work make money, and I get impatient and overwhelmed and start to feel like there’s no point.

But when I work on my art, or keep writing my stories, I remember that I don’t do this for the money. I want to earn money through my art, of course, but I create because it’s fulfilling on its own, and putting pressure on myself to produce for an imaginary audience destroys the enjoyment I get out of the process. I know that creators of all kinds probably feel this kind of pressure at some point, especially if they rely on their creativity to earn their living or have a big audience.

So I’m simply focused on creating, and finishing my projects. Working a little each week to build my art business and artist brand, bit by bit, and I try not to focus so much on the results, but the process.
Still, I made a few goals for 2024 for myself: I’m looking apply to more artist grants and residencies to support my work financially. I’m also trying to get back to writing about art on my blog (check out my current post at ashleyirizarry.com) and write more helpful articles for artists and aspiring artists on Medium. And of course, I still sell my original paintings and prints of my photography over on my website.

I also want to get back to creating work again and use it as a way to talk about difficult, even ugly emotions and situations like hopelessness, trauma, and anxiety. I already create works that reflect on my own dark emotions and use my paintings as a way to work through my pain. But I also I want my work to reach a bigger audience to give people an opportunity to reflect on and recognize their own unprocessed pain.

It feels easier sometimes to suppress and deny those hard things in life that feel unsolvable, but I know firsthand how how dangerous to keep on as if everything is fine, eventually that hidden pain comes out in unhealthy ways. I keep making art for myself, but also want my art and my story to give others permission to start feeling again.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
If I have to pick three things that were most impactful on my journey, I’d say my work ethic, commitment to quality, and my love of learning. My parents modeled hard work in their own lives so working very hard was something that just came naturally and that discipline has helped me in every area of my life. When I didn’t want to keep going, that habit carried me through and helped me finish what I started.

Of course, the ability to work hard isn’t always good—I fight feelings of guilt if I’m not working or doing something productive, but my work ethic has helped me grow and overcome a lot of challenges. The ability to keep going even when you don’t want to is important and will serve you well in the long run. I’d recommend to anyone struggling with that to start small; if you’re working on a project, assignment, or just something you don’t want to be working on, just tell yourself to keep going for five more minutes. That promise to keep on for just five minutes will carry you forward. And next time, make five minutes, ten minutes. Or create some other tiny tiny goal to get you to keep moving towards the goal. Keep the goals small and gradually increase them.

My parents, my dad especially, were also instrumental in instilling my commitment to quality. When I was tired of working on a long project as a kid and just wanted the job done my dad would always say ‘presentation is everything’ to remind me that I needed to not only finish what I started, but finish it well. I do everything to the best of my abilities and strive to put out my very best work. No matter what I’m doing—whether I’m creating a spreadsheet at work, cleaning the bathroom, or setting up a website, I commit to doing a good job.

A commitment to quality can quickly morph into perfectionism, so I have to balance my desire for quality with a need to just finish a project or assignment, but people notice the difference between something slapped together and something you investing time into to create something excellent. In my art, and especially my writing, I try to produce the best work I can. I’ll work and re-work something multiple times to improve it. The first try is always the first draft, and everything can be improved.

Don’t be too prideful to go back and edit or re-work something. I find that pride, or a desire to be done with something, are usually the things that get in the way of creating quality. If it’s pride, remind yourself that the first or even second or third attempt isn’t supposed to be perfect. You can’t create a masterpiece with the first draft and it’s not a reflection of your ability to go back and improve something. If you’re just tired of working on something, take a break from it and then come back to the work with fresh eyes so you can complete it to the best of your abilities. Your work is a reflection of you, so put your best foot forward.

My love of learning is something that’s been with me since I was a little child. I’ve always loved reading and learning new things. I have a passion for knowledge, books, or any kind of information. As a little kid I sometimes wished I could actually eat books because I wanted to consume the knowledge in them! It sounds silly and a little weird but it epitomizes my desire for learning. I loved going to school and museums and libraries because I loved learning and just being in places of learning excites me. I’ll go out of my way to learn new things just because I’m curious. I earned both my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in History because I loved learning more and more about the history of the world and I’ve always been the person who will do a deep dive on a particular topic for weeks or even years, learning everything I can about it. It makes me sad when people demand that education and learning serve a practical function; everything we learn doesn’t need to be in service of some practical goal. It’s wonderful to learn simply for the sake of learning, it expands our knowledge and awareness and helps us see and understand the world from different angles. Even things I have little interest in can become exciting when I reframe it as an opportunity to learn.

It’s hard to develop curiosity and a love of learning sometimes, especially if your learning experiences have been negative. But I’d tell someone to start learning about something that interests you—whatever that thing is. Go and learn as much as you can about a topic you like, and as you learn, you’ll find dozens or hundreds of other topics that connect to that initial topic. Then go and learn about those other topics, and so on. If anything interests you, learn everything you can about it. Make it a habit to pursue your interests and you’ll develop a bigger appetite for learning.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
A big challenge I’m facing right now is my financial situation. I know it’s not acceptable to talk about finances unless you’ve hit it big with money and you’re telling everyone your “secrets” to financial success, but my finances are a big struggle for me at the moment since I don’t have full-time work. I’m still running my art business and I do freelance writing but neither of these efforts are enough to fully support me financially and I’ve been searching for a fulltime job that utilizes my writing background for well over a year now.

It’s scary to not know what’s coming next and I feel discouraged at the lack of responses on the hundreds of job applications I put out. Most days, I feel so discouraged and hopeless about the situation and wonder what will happen to me, but I try to remind myself of the small silver linings in all of this.

As scary as it is to not have a job that supports me financially, in some ways I feel freed from the mindset that tells me work and financial success is the only way to be considered valuable or worthy. I touched on this idea a little with my mixed media painting, ‘American Work Ethic’ which was a critical examination of the restlessness of American “hustle” culture. We’re told so many lies about work, money, and our value; from a young age, we ask kids what job they want to do when they grow up, as if the work is the only thing that matters in their life. We tell people to work really hard until a certain age when they can finally rest and relax in retirement, as if we’re not worthy of rest until that point. We place more or less value on a person depending on their work and how much money their job gets them. We ask people what they do for work when trying to get to know them, as if a job is their entire identity.

While my financial struggles and lack of full-time work are overwhelming at times, I feel lucky to have this time to grow as an artist and as a person. I feel lucky to work through my own hangups about work and worth, and accept myself as valuable and worthy of goodness with or without riches and a job. I hope that people can start to realize their own inherent worth and identity apart from their work and financial situation. You don’t need to work really hard to deserve rest, care, or dignity, simply being is enough.

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Image Credits
Ashley Irizarry (myself).

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