We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ashley Vaughn Hortman-Cooper a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Ashley Vaughn, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
I grew up in a household that required resilience to survive, that is the short answer.
The long answer is, my resilience just like anyone else described as such, has been through some shit. Trauma is often the shared narrative to those who are called “resilient”. I am proud to describe myself as such, and I do not take offense when others label me as resilient, but the truth is, it’s a bittersweet thing to say. I have to acknowledge that as a Black woman, living in America today, with history of home violence, verbal and mental abuse, becoming a first-generation college student, going on to get my Masters, navigating personal mental health struggles and now adding on entrepreneur, I am one resilient badass. Life is hard, and I appreciate my skills to pick myself up quickly, grind hard and get to where I want to go. But if anyone shares ANY of the same identities I shared previously, you understand the exhaustion that comes with this.
As I finishing up my first year as a full-time elopement photographer, I feel like I was able to truly start harnessing that power of being resilient. Starting, running and owning a business is NOT for the faint of heart. It is incredibly rewarding and has given me opportunities that little me would have thought were possible only in dreams, but getting there has not been easy. It is a lot of work, hours, learning, trying and not succeeding, and then having the desire and energy to try again the next day. But each time things don’t go to plan, or honestly just flop, I remind myself that I am not a failure for trying something new. Failing is only failing if you didn’t learn anything from it. To become resilient you have to do the work to understand that not everything that happens to you is your fault. Take time to rest and grieve. And then, wipe your tears, dust off your pants and fight back. Resiliency is not about the ability to ignore, push past or forget, but to hold both truths. I am a lucky gal to have found safety nets, supportive people and a caring community to surround me. On the days that feel really hard, I turn to them and have help to remind me how much of a badass I am.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I own Ashley Vaughn Photography, a PNW Elopement and Boudoir Photographer. I have mostly lived in the PNW all my life and have called it home repeatedly. I love the mountains, the trees, the ocean and honestly everything in between. It only made sense when I was looking into changing careers to really focus on the things I love. I had spent at least 10 years of my adult life advocating for others, educating college students on intrapersonal and interpersonal skills as well as diversity and inclusion topics in regards to mental health and crisis. Well, when a person spends 10 years surrounded by mental health crisis a person can become a bit burnt out, and I crashed and burned out. But in my time in higher education, the things I did love was advocating, creating meaningful relationships and being able to have good conversation with others. So when I turned back to an old passion, I had to figure out two things, what and how.
Once I knew I was going to commit to photography, boudoir felt like a no-brainer. I loved working with female presenting clients to support them, give them confidence back and ensure they felt like they had control. So OBVIOUSLY, boudoir. A space where I can support woman in reclaiming their body, their stories or just hype a girly up about how HOT they are! Couples were an easy concept as well. I love, love. Simple as that. I love hearing love stories, how you met, where your first date was, when did you say “I love you”, I want to hear it all!
I created this business with the vision of being your safe space. I person out in the world who will show up as their goofy, people loving self to hang out with other folx just like me.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
True interview question 😂 Empathy, Advocate, Learner
If I had to pop off three, those would be it. I think I was born with a soul to care about others, molded by trauma and shaped by experience. When I say, “I feel you” I probably really do. I am such a feely girl, it is almost comical. I am a sympathetic cryer and I love to have deep conversations around identity and personality. I will advocate for you. It can be as simple as telling the make up artist that is too much eye brow, or helping you reclaim your voice. I will sit in spaces while you cry, I am a fantastic listener, and when you are ready, I’ll help you find solutions. One of my first questions is honestly, “who are we hating?!” And being a learner, I mean, can you be an entrepreneur and not like learning?? I enjoy learning best practices, how to create a better process for clients, how to be a better person even. I think life is often one big journey of learning.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
I feel like I am always overwhelmed haha. Jokes aside, it has taken years (and still some) to listen to my body. My body will tell me if we are worrying just to worry or if there is more to it. Often times I need to just take a step back and breath. I love making to do lists, and I have been doing a lot of just brain dumping sessions lately just to clear my mind. Being able to see things written down helps me take it out of my brain, see it on paper and really decide what is important and what is just taking up mental space.
My best trick for to do listers, write things down that you know will get done, or that you just finished. Seeing things get crossed off can give you the momentum and courage to tackle the big projects.
Contact Info:
- Website: ashleyvaughnphotography.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleyvaughnphotography/
- Other: https://www.pinterest.com/ashleyyvaughnn/
Image Credits
Ashley Vaughn Photography + Hannah Brooke Photography
