We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Bailey York. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Bailey below.
Bailey, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
It took me 20+ years to get out of my own way. From elementary to my early 20’s, I was bullied in school and at home. I used to believe I was bullied because I was overweight and unattractive. So I changed that, and yet the bullying continued. Now, as you get older, the bullying doesn’t stop, unfortunately. Especially with the internet being our predominant source of socializing, anyone can bully you and hide behind the screen without having an ounce of empathy or remorse.
My teen years were in the early days of MySpace and Facebook. There was a lot of competition already spurring around with posting photos online, chatting on AIM, and updating our relationship status. There was a deep burning desire to be different, seen yet accepted by peers and strangers online. I’m not too sure how this generation is dealing with it, but it personally led me to a lot of anxiety, pseudo-confidence, and addiction.
Confidence comes from within. You can change your aura and energy in seconds if you wish to. Rather than fishing for compliments online or validating my worth based on likes and views, I made the choice to do some deep inner work.
Here are some practices I implemented to develop confidence and self-esteem:
- Words of Affirmation
It’s my love language. If you don’t know yours, I recommend finding out because it’s usually the type of love you crave and seek that you need to give to yourself.
I wrote compliments to myself daily. I posted sticky notes of mantras on my bathroom mirror. I changed the way I spoke to myself by repeating things aloud like, “I love and accept myself completely” and “I am a high-value woman.”
I would look at myself in the mirror, like really look into my eyes, and repeat sweet nothings like I was the love of my life. I would gas myself up till a smile appeared on my face.
- Show Up For Yourself
If you can commit to your job 8+ hours a day that would fire you tomorrow, why not show up for yourself for at least an hour?
Committing an hour of self-care for yourself is the least you could do. Additionally, by being consistent with this, you learn to trust yourself. Maybe it’s yoga, weight-lifting, meditation,*cough* Baylates… find something you love, that genuinely makes you happy and devote a daily practice to just that. The rest will follow.
- Self-Acceptance
Nobody is ever going to love you the way you love yourself. We commonly make the mistake of seeking love from others to fill a void, rather than in addition to what we are.
I learned to love the parts that people would bully and shame me for. I accept my shadows and sensitivities. I love my scars and forgive my past. I respect myself and accept nothing less than what I deserve.
Once you fully own and adore who you are, nobody can take your confidence away from you.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am the founder of Baylates: a combination of Pilates, Barre, Yoga, Breath-work, and Strength Training. Low-impact, medium-high intensity workouts in less than 30 minutes.
Baylates is more than just an effective workout. The method includes breath work, which is the key to mastering your mind, emotions, nervous system, nutrition, and more. Additionally, my method is designed for you to remain completely present and in tune with your body. Every movement allows you to connect and look inward.
I believe that outer beauty is a reflection of inner calm. That’s why these workouts are designed to transform your mind, body, and soul. I will guide you through a series of exercises that will challenge you both physically and mentally. I believe that fitness is not just about looking good, it’s about feeling good too.
What’s next? Online memberships on Baylates.com will be available in 2024. Members will get access to all workout videos and information on any events.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Intention
- Discipline
- Resilience
My advice would be to always be a student and never stop learning. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Take feedback, find those who inspire you, and create something that you’re obsessed with.
When you lead with intention, you have more focus.
When you are disciplined, you are more likely to persevere.
When you are resilient, you can accomplish anything.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I call it my ‘Bible’ because I’ve reread this book over five times and always learn something new.
Three biggest takeaways:
- Your Inner Roommate, aka the voice in your head that tends to lead to self-sabotage. Learn to reframe the tone of voice and narrative. Remember, you are not your thoughts; you are simply a witness. You also have control of the voice in your head, just try talking back to it or give it a name.
- You can experience enlightenment multiple times in your life.
- Non-attachment. Learning the art of letting go and not allowing ourselves to hold onto negative emotions, thoughts, and memories is very powerful. We are the ones that create meaning, therefore, we can detach and not give value/importance to many things. What’s most important is our well-being, doing good, being a positive impact within our communities, and living with the best intentions. Anything else can fall off.
Contact Info:
- Website: baylates.com
- Instagram: Instagram.com/baylates_
- Other: TikTok.com/@baylatesmethod
Image Credits
Jennifer Alyse
