We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Brittany LaDoula. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Brittany “LaDoula” below.
Brittany, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
I guess it comes from realizing long ago that nobody is coming to save me. (I’m not currently in the best space as I formulate this response.) I want nothing more than to say f*ck it and quit, but the weight of my youngest son resting on my side grounds me. I’ll take a moment to throw a fit and curse capitalism and all those who failed me in life; then, I’ll journey onward. The consequences of giving up are far more severe than the challenges of perseverance. Being resilient is the reason why my life is so beautiful.
My resilience honors, impresses, and heals the little girl within me. I am resilient because my ancestors were resilient. I am resilient because of my incredible children who inspire and always believe in the best of me. I am resilient because I have beautiful community holding me up and cheering me on.
Tell us more about what you do. What makes it special and what are your plans moving forward?
When I tell folks I’m a doula, I often hear, “Oh, so like a midwife?” No, y’all, not like a midwife. You may see us on social media sharing comfort measures or optimal birth positions, but baby, this work is way more than deep breathing and hip squeezes. Despite the medically justified abuse and experimentation on black bodies throughout American history, we have become subservient to our medical providers. To counter the frequent violation of birthing parents’ rights and bodies, especially in university hospitals, my top priority is educating my clients on their rights and options, empowering them to advocate for themselves and make informed decisions. Black mothers/birthing people are threatened with an increased risk of (preventable) trauma, complications, and death. As a Black doula with predominantly black clients, advocacy is an inescapable and integral part of my life.
Furthermore, finding compassionate and supportive healthcare providers is a challenge. Accordingly, I assist my clients in their research and help to compile a list of interview questions to ensure that their provider’s philosophies align with their birth vision. While this is ideal, often, parents are stuck with sh*tty providers due to financial barriers, fear-mongering, lack of freestanding birth centers, etc. Having a supportive birth team in one’s ideal safe space (hospital, home, birth center) is a fantasy for most. However, we (doulas) roll with the punches and equip our clients to navigate the road ahead.
Being a doula means showing up, showing compassion, connecting, companioning, listening, teaching, trusting, supporting and advocating. In addition to understanding the physiological birth process, these are the reasons access to doula care results in an overall more positive experience and reduced need for unnecessary interventions and pain medication.
Being a doula also means being a jack of many trades because each pregnancy has a different outcome. I am thankful for the community of bomb-ass birth workers who have equipped me with the skills to support my clients through various circumstances- abortion, loss, adoption, the birth of a special needs child, etc. Needless to say, shit gets heavy; this work is not for the faint of heart.
Birth work is fulfilling; I am helping to improve birth outcomes and breastfeeding rates. I am touching hearts and spreading love- how blessed am I to have my clients, doula sibs, and mentors love me back?? BLESSED AF!
I want people to know that Mother.Sister.Friend. was built in hopes of restoring sisterhood and community. I was a younger 20-something single mom with a preschooler and a toddler trying to find my way. I hoped to share what I had learned along my journey to help other young mothers like myself feel a little less lost and alone- more hopeful. Becoming a birth worker is where I began to realize that dream.
I am currently studying to become an EBB Childbirth Instructor- I am SO excited. I recently began offering birth prep services for those who either can’t afford doula services or do not wish to have a doula present at their birth. I provide placenta encapsulation services, including placenta prints and umbilical cord keepsakes. It’s the only service that I currently offer that allows me to explore my creativity. I think it’s dope for parents to have something special to commemorate their pregnancies, especially those who had to say goodbye to their baby too soon. Lastly, when these grant approvals start rolling in, I’d love to help at least one family cover the cost of a homebirth midwife.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Compassion, determination and hopefulness.
Is there a rule book? I learned all three by experiencing life- heartbreak, hard times, depression, triumph, joy. Everyone learns what they need to in their own time and in their own way. Stay grounded and connected to yourself and you will find your way.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
When I am feeling overwhelmed, I mostly prefer to be alone. I find my calm in a variety of ways: taking a walk, challenging myself in the gym, journaling, relaxing in a candle lit bath (or complete darkness), speaking affirmations to myself in a mirror, spending time in nature pouring my soul out to spirit, stretching out on the floor or snuggling in bed with my babies, some junk food and a good movie.
It truly depends on the reason for my overwhelm and my capacity for “doing”. Most recently, I found my calm by laying out on the floor, putting a neck pillow around my face, giggling and making silly noises. I am also neurodivergent, so my coping skills might be a bit bizarre to some LOL.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.MSFDoula.com
- Instagram: /mothersisterfriend_doula
- Facebook: /MSFDOULA
Image Credits
Personal photo : Greater Vision Photography
