Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Carolyn Carpenter. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Carolyn, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I think confidence and self-esteem are two different things. I feel that self-esteem is something that comes from having a sense of self-worth, valuing yourself regardless of your circumstances. Everything in your life could be falling apart, you could be at rock bottom and you still know that you have worth and value, you still love yourself. On the other hand I see confidence as the level of certainty or self-assuredness you have in your ability to do what you’ve set out to do, whether that’s in life overall, your career, your relationships, etc.
I think it’s hard to have confidence if you don’t have self-esteem. I’ve definitely had times where I’ve struggled with self-esteem and confidence. Life has a way of taking you on journeys that are unexpected and challenging, that make you question yourself. And it’s through these type of journeys that I think I’ve grown the most as a person. So despite how difficult they can be I’m grateful for these journeys because they make me a better person, a more complex and intricate person. As an actor, I have to get into the hearts and minds of different characters. The more I can build connections between the character’s life experiences and emotions and mine, the easier it is to play the character. And the more complex and intricate the character, the more I find them interesting and exciting to portray.
I’m coming through a bit of a challenging journey right now. This time it’s been a particularly sticky and uncomfortable chapter of life. I got a bit lost and enlisted the help of a phenomenal life coach, Samantha Jo Harvey. Samantha helped me learn how to adjust my mindset to look at these situations differently and understand that self-worth, self-esteem, is inherent. We are all worthy and of value regardless of our circumstances, but you have to truly believe that in the core of your heart and fully know that it’s true. She gave me the tools I needed to be able to embrace this concept and honestly feel it in my heart, mind and body. From there, Samantha showed me the tools to develop my confidence, which can be especially challenging as an actor where a huge part of your career is dealing with constant rejection. After awhile it can be hard not to internalize that and let it erode your confidence, but with the right mindset tools in place you can learn how to overcome this.
A big part of that for me is taking time to be alone and connecting with nature. Especially the ocean. I love the sea; it’s where my heart is happiest. Being in the ocean, or near it when being in it isn’t possible, is such a cathartic experience for me.. Surfing, diving, connecting with the water in any way. Once I’m in the ocean it’s hard to get me out. Thank God for wetsuits! I also really like hiking. Being in the woods, where it’s quiet and secluded. Finding hidden paths that haven’t been explored or hiked much. That type of peace and solitude helps me reset and reconnect with myself and my self-worth.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I am an actress and film/television producer. I grew up in suburban Chicago, and started acting at the age of ten by taking acting classes and acting in local theater productions. After graduating from The Theatre School at DePaul University, I moved to Los Angeles and made the switch from acting in theatre to acting in film and television. It’s a medium I enjoy more. I find it to be a more challenging and intimate form of acting. You’re performing for a camera that is sometimes as close as a few inches away, rather than performing to a huge auditorium full of people. There’s no opportunity to fake it on camera. It picks up right away when you’re not conveying an honest emotion, it sniffs out “acting” from a mile away! My latest films, “An Ocean Apart”, directed by Alan Shei and “Oizys”, directed by Kellie Christensen, will be appearing on the international film festival circuit this year. I just wrapped another film called “Waiting Room” that will be released later this year, and am on set for a streaming series that I’m extremely excited about but can’t talk much about it just yet. I love to act, but I also write, direct, produce — you name it, I’m down for trying it. I’m currently writing a feature film and in the process of getting it funded. This is the first feature film I’ve written and I’m excited to see where it goes.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I think learning how to manage your mindset is critical, especially as an actor. This business has a way of wearing you down quickly. Whether that’s through the constant rejection from the audition process, you know, from casting directors and producers and the like. Or as you progress in your career and you start to deal with the criticism that comes from the general public and your fans. Social media can be brutal. Everyone has an opinion and they’re not afraid to voice it, especially when they can do so from the “safety” of being behind a keyboard and computer screen. It’s easier to say something harsh online than it is to say it to someone’s face. You have to develop a very, very strong mindset to maintain your self-esteem and not internalize all the rejection or public criticism. You learn to say, “here’s my art, my interpretation of this character, my way of telling this story. I hope you like it. If not….well….okay, no worries on my part.”
Secondly, being comfortable with ambiguity and change. In filmmaking, things are changing all the time. The script changes the night before you shoot and you show up on set and they give you a whole bunch of new lines to memorize. The shoot schedule changes and now you’re working days you weren’t expecting to work. The location changes and you have to make adjustments for how you planned to play that character in the environment. I think life’s the same way. Everything is moving and changing. Learning to be adaptable, to detach from the specifics, and maintain your self-assuredness despite ambiguity and change, I think it really important. I’m still working on being better at this.
A third skill that was hugely impactful for me was learning how to connect with people on a personal level. I used to hate networking. I thought it was sleazy and gross, so fake. I hated doing it because I didn’t want to come across as that person that’s just trying to get something out of someone. Once I shifted my mindset around it, though, and stopped “networking” and just focused on building a genuine connection with people, tried to figure out where I could be of value to them, help them out in some way even if it wasn’t related to the entertainment industry, everything changed for me. I built amazing connections within the industry, met some incredibly impactful people, and best of all made a lot of friends. You can never have enough surfing buddies!
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
Wow, that’s a fascinating and complex question! Well….I think it’s a bit of both. You definitely want to capitalize on your strengths, right? My dad taught me how to fish when I was a little girl and we bonded over that, so fishing has always been a sentimental and meaningful activity for me. I mean, if I can make a fishing analogy here,,,your strengths are like your bait. You’re going to work on your strengths, develop them a strongly as possible so that, like good bait, when you cast them out there they’re super attractive to people who want to work with you and connect with you. There’s a saying, “Cast shallow bait, catch shallow fish.” If you don’t spend time developing your strengths and being the best at what you do well, you’ll have a hard time attracting those bigger, more lucrative opportunities.
At the same time, you have to be ready to reel in the fish that you catch. And you can’t always predict exactly what kind of fish that will be, and what skills it will take to reel that fish in. So you need to spend some time working on your weaknesses so that they don’t inhibit you from reeling in the “fish”, the opportunities, that might require some skills that are outside your areas of expertise. I wouldn’t say you need to be an expert in those areas. But at least have a basic understanding of those skills, and know enough to figure out who are the right people to hire, or partner and connect with, to help you secure that opportunity and be successful once you’ve obtained this.
I think being willing to partner with others and ask for help when needed is critical within the entertainment industry. Filmmaking is absolutely a collaborative process. I think it’s literally impossible to do it alone. You see people win Academy Awards and they’re up there thanking a bunch of people – that’s because they didn’t attain their success alone. I’m constantly seeking out people to collaborate with. The feature film I just wrote is about surfing. I know I don’t have the financial means to pay for it myself, and at the same time I know that a film like this will benefit from having experts in the surfing world funding it and participating in it in a variety of capacities. So right now I’m out there looking for surfers and people within the greater surf community who want to get involved. If that sounds like you, connect with me on Instagram, let’s work together! Like I said, collaboration is essential.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.carolyncarpenteractress.com
- Instagram: @carolyn_carpenter
Image Credits
Photo credits: Tiffany Modino and Elissa Knight
