We were lucky to catch up with Cassandra Kay recently and have shared our conversation below.
Cassandra Kay, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
2018 I started experiencing severe anxiety and depression. At the time, I really had no idea what these strong emotions were. It took me about a year to seek help from a therapist who confirmed what my mom and I thought I was experiencing. I learned through the help of my therapist that I had always had anxiety but big life changes, like picking up my entire life and moving to a different state away from all my family triggered it to become so severe. My therapist focused on tools like EFT tapping. I saw her twice a month which went down to once a month and then whenever I felt like I needed to go. She believed she gave me all the tools I needed to help before, during, and after an anxiety attack. And she really did, I just needed to believe in myself. I really couldn’t do anything I did once before. It became almost impossible for me to do any grocery shopping or travel in the car by myself. I relied heavily on my husband to be there. Working outside of my home became very difficult. We stopped going out to eat, I never wanted to leave home if I didn’t need to. And traveling to see my family became a chore for me.
I had to quit my job altogether at one point which led me to hate myself even more. I have always been a perfectionist, and this was going against everything I ever wanted to be. I eventually found a new job where I worked part-time. Even then, some days I felt like I was “stuck” there and had several anxiety attacks while working. I found another job that I loved, again part-time, but I loved it. My husband and I had been renting since moving in together. 2020 came around and we started the process of buying a house and eventually did close on our new home and moved about 20 minutes away from my job. I felt like I had to start all over again. I couldn’t imagine driving 40 minutes a day. I found a new job that was close to home, and I was able to set my own schedule and I could leave if I ever felt overwhelmed. But I was never stepping out of my comfort zone like my therapist said I needed to. I hated myself. I felt like I was letting everyone down. This job morphed into something I never knew I needed. I began traveling around the county to different accounts I had. Which really made me realize I could in fact do more than what I had been doing.
Up to this point, I changed a lot. I blossomed into a better person who I am very proud of. I did a lot of journaling and reflecting. I really began to get to know myself and learn who I wanted to be. And learned what things just didn’t suit me anymore. I am still growing every day. I learned to trust myself and start living outside of my comfort zone. We started going out to eat, I shop on my own now. I am even able to drive over an hour by myself again. Throughout this journey, even with my family around me, I felt alone more times than not. People who haven’t experienced anxiety or depression don’t fully understand it. My family did try to understand the best that they could. But feeling that loneliness led me to create Roost Eleven Eighteen. I wanted to create a safe place where everyone was welcomed, and no one felt the same way I did. Roost Eleven Eighteen allowed me to be confident in myself again, it even led me to go back to college.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Roost Eleven Eighteen is a lifestyle blog. I share about my life and struggles with anxiety. I share many different topics. I learned I am multi-passionate and have a lot I like to share. From cooking and baking, lifestyle posts, home DIY, gardening, and have recently started including book content. It is my little corner of the internet where everyone is welcome. I hope through my posts, we can all learn and grow together while not taking life so seriously all the time. I created Roost Eleven Eighteen as a virtual shoulder more or less. To let other people know they are not alone and that they have a friend in me.
I hope one day to have a brick-and-mortar location that has a little bit of everything. That becomes a community. state, and nationwide resource, shopping, and dining center.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are:
1) Grace. Have grace for yourself and for the people around you. You won’t always have the best of days and that is okay. Just get up and try again tomorrow. You don’t have to be 100% all the time. We all need a break and allow yourself to take those breaks. We all make mistakes, learn from your mistakes to do better the next time. You never know what someone else is going through. Just like how they only see a sliver of your life, you are only seeing a sliver of theirs.
2) Aim to do your best not perfection. I mentioned I have always tried to be perfect which ultimately sets me up for failure. And that leaves me feeling frustrated. I have learned to just do my best, even if I don’t necessarily like the outcome. I used to not want to do something if I knew I would fail or not be good at it on my own terms. I have learned it is better to show up give everything I have and feel accomplished knowing I did rather than allowing the fear of failure to leave me wondering “what if.”
3) Love yourself. Love yourself even on your worst days. Make yourself a priority and do the things you love. I have really been focusing 2023 on this and have seen such positive impacts by allowing myself the time to do things I want and not focusing solely on the other people I love.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
Yes, I am always looking for people to partner and collaborate with! Lifestyle, cooking/baking, home and garden, DIY projects, book content, and mental health journey fit the Roost well! In my book, no one is too big or too small. I love learning new things and new ways of doing things. I want to introduce my audience to more of that as well. Once I connect with someone professionally, I like to be a part of the rest of their journey. We support one another! Everyone I have worked with before, or who I support has all become friends of mine and I am looking for people who want that. The best way to connect with me is on Instagram just send me a direct message.
Contact Info:
- Website: roosteleveneighteen.com
- Instagram: Instagram.com/roosteleveneighteen
- Facebook: facebook.com/roostelevneighteen
