We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Christine Tuccille Merry. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Christine below.
Christine, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I struggled a lot with confidence and self-esteem issues in my younger days. I doubted and second guessed myself constantly. I also figured that the world would judge me very harshly for any missteps or failures I did make. I lived in a tough and critical world partially of my own making and partially due to my upbringing.
Over the years though, I learned to surround myself with good people who had my back. I found people that had natural confidence although not necessarily a big ego. I learned that these kinds of people are content with themselves and genuinely wish well for others. They’re not interested in judging others because they’re secure in who they are, and they can laugh at their own mistakes. Over time, I learned how to be a bit more like this. I also found a quote, “it’s better to do something imperfectly than do nothing flawlessly.” I thought, well, I can paint imperfectly, that’s ok. I also realized that if I approached painting and life in general as a student and not as anyone who would ever have all the answers, I allowed myself the freedom to do things very imperfectly, but with the idea I was always trying to improve. This mindset was empowering because this huge burden was lifted. Instead of thinking, “how can I think I can do this,” I started to think, “well, why shouldn’t I be able to do this? What’s stopping me from trying? It’s okay if I don’t succeed. It’s a bit like the Buddhist idea of not being attached to the outcome. It’s all about the process, just doing something because you love it, and trying to get better at it.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I’m an oil painter. My story is that I’ve always loved art. As a kid I was always lying on my bedroom floor drawing. I started painting in high school and fell in love with it then. Even though I won an award in high school, I was almost paralyzed by my lack of confidence. So I went on to try everything else instead of what I wanted the most. But you can’t fight who you are. Although I never stopped painting, after a circuitous journey, I found my way back to having it be my focus. And I’m grateful. I’m always trying to capture light and mood. Beautiful light and color makes my whole body ache. And the way colors change in different lighting conditions fascinates me. I observe these things and I somehow want to capture them, to live them, at least for a little while. And in the process of chasing the light and color, I will feel a certain way. At the end of the day, it’s how the painting makes me feel, what mood it captures, that excites me the most. I’m sure it’s a reflection of my internal state, but I’m still working on better understanding and expressing that.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
At this point I do have some very helpful skills. One is always viewing myself as a student. I make a point of trying to learn from everyone and if I have the opportunity to study with an accomplished painter, I totally buy into their process while I’m learning from them, even if it’s not the approach I’ll take in the long run. Another piece of knowledge that helps me is I know that everyone is on a journey and we’re never done. And thank goodness. If we really get to the point where we think we’re done I guess we’re dead. And life is hard. So we may as well be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to grow. Finally, and this is probably the least interesting but most practical skill, I’m pretty organized and I’m very good with follow through. So, if I have an idea, or make a commitment to someone, I will try to deliver my best.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
In August my youngest child left home to go to college. I am still a mother of course, but my role has changed drastically, and it feels abrupt even though there has been gradual change. Now I really can structure my time around my needs and ask myself questions like who am I and what do I want? It’s both exhilarating and terrifying. I, and many people my age, especially women, are in this same boat. And if this next stage is to be satisfying and meaningful, we must do the work to answer these questions. It’s a tremendous opportunity for growth, but we have to be willing to take it.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.ChristineMerryArt.com
- Instagram: @ChristineMerryArt
- Facebook: Facebook.com/ChristineMerryArt
Image Credits
Natasha Kobran Debra Halprin
