We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Cindy Toledo a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Cindy, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
Unexpectedly! I always wondered what my real purpose in life was….I was a good person, I cared about people, I organized, volunteered and served, etc. But what was I really here for? On July 19th, 2011 I cam home to find my husband dead on the floor from a sudden heart attack. That night as my co-workers from my church and my family stood in a circle praying, someone began to sing amazing grace. In the midst of the song I heard very clearly the voice of God saying to me “I will give you all the strength you need, I will give you a peace like you’ve never known and I will give you hope for your future”. Those words would play like a rewinding tape for quite a long time. Within 3 weeks after my husband died I found an organization on line “Modern Widows Club”. There was a sentence in the blog that said “You have been chosen for this journey”. I printed that paragraph and along with that I printed a prayer I found called “Choose Joy”. Every single morning I would stand in front of my bathroom mirror, put my shoulders back and stand as tall as I could as I boldly repeated the words from these two things. Day by day they became part of who I was. Upon finding Modern Widows Club I devoured everything I could as I read and took to heart the encouragement to lean into life and build resilience in spite of my horrific loss. About 18 months later I started a local community of MWC for the widows in my area. About the one year anniversary I was preparing for our celebration of our 1 year old community. I was thinking about the healing I had seen in the women when I remembered words my Mother had spoken over me 10 years prior: “The Lord has told me you will be in a healing ministry”. I heard them and promptly forgot them because they seemingly had no relevance to my life. As I remembered my Mom’s words and correlated them to the healing I had seen in the women I had mentored I began to sob. I had found my purpose and there is no question in my mind what I am here for.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My story of becoming a widow is what led me to volunteer for Modern Widows Club and start one of the first MWC communities in my area. I have been leading the local Seattle area group since 2013. In 2020 I became the Program Support Manager for our organization. I lead and mentor widows who desire to lead MWC communities in their own cities. Modern Widows Club seeks to serve widows by encouraging them to lean into life, build resilience, and make a positive difference. There is nothing more fulfilling than seeing a widow go from barely surviving to thriving. And also very rewarding to be part of the team building new leaders so that widows across the country and the globe can be served. Our website www.modernwidowclub.org has resources from e-courses, communities, and clubs to join, as well an an empowerment quiz that helps widows gauge where they are in the journey. We provide virtual and local in-person opportunities for widows to connect and feel like they have others who understand and get what they are going through. The thing I like most about my job is connecting people with one another.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I think the three qualities I had and have now developed even more are compassion, truly caring for people, organizing, and planning. These were all strengths I had before becoming a community advocate leader or a manager. My personal experience as a widow and then leading and mentoring widows just expounded on my natural talents. In the beginning, I didn’t know anything about being a widow or how to move forward in a healthy positive way so I searched for information which is how I found Modern Widows Club. I read everything I could find and as I gleaned from all I was learning I just naturally wanted to share with others who may be in a similar situation. We all have some form of trauma and grief in our life and recognizing how to process through it is a huge step to becoming who you want to be despite the tragedy you’ve experienced.
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
I would say two people have been the most impactful in all my life. One was my mother. She was a strong woman of faith, although she was a very young mother she had a strong character, she was bold and confident. I was born with a birth defect and my mother had a huge part in shaping me into a confident person. She believed in me and always encouraged me to press onward and forward through any of life’s challenges. The other person is Carolyn Moor, Founder of Modern Widows Club. Out of her own need, to find a widow mentor, she formed this non-profit organization that now 13 years later has served thousands of widows. I am eternally grateful for the personal mentoring I received that changed the trajectory of my journey. I believe that my personal experience has caused me to grow in ways I might not have otherwise.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.modernwidowsclub.org
