We were lucky to catch up with Colby Kennedy recently and have shared our conversation below.
Colby, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
It was the worst of times. It was even worse than the worst of times. It was the end of 2019 and I was preparing to move from Chicago to Los Angeles in summer of 2020 to pursue comedy, acting and writing. Then I lost my job that I would have taken with me to the west coast. Then my wife and I tried IVF to get pregnant and the insurance company stopped paying for treatment in the middle of it. Then my wife’s mother died. Then Covid started. Then we started the always traumatic IVF again and my wife got a brain tumor. All while trapped in our freezing one bedroom apartment in the Midwest.
However, I was solid as a rock and at my best day in, day out. This is what I would’ve said in the alternate universe in which none of this happened and everything was easy. In reality, I was a mess. Not only was the person I care about the most going through an unrelenting traumatic wood chipper, my hopes and dreams of having a family and doing comedy in showbiz seemed to be slipping out of my grasp. I was angry, disappointed, irritable, depressed and simply hated my life.
Most of us have much more resilience in us than we realize. Some of us are unfortunate enough to have to access it. And so, all day, everyday, I climbed in the ring with Life and fought. Life usually won the battles. I won the war. Where do I get my resilience from? There are three sources I can pinpoint.
First, is my philosophical bedrock that informs me of how the world works. This consciously or subconsciously underpins everything I do. My outlook has been built up throughout my life from Faith, the art I’ve consumed, and family. All three of these sources have pushed me to believe pain is inevitable, but there is glory in overcoming the obstacle. Without sorrow, there can be no joy. If Life wants to come at me, then bring it on!
Second, is my support system. No one does it alone. Ultimately our own resilience comes down to us, but almost has to be bolstered by those who love us. It’s easier to pick yourself back up when people are creating meal trains, sitting with you at the hospital, praying for you and driving you places. It may be a cliche, but we’re capable of so much more together than alone.
Lastly, another source of my resilience comes from my steadfast belief in my ability to affect outcomes. This too can stem from my philosophical bedrock. I am not a bystander in the accident of Life. I’m not watching a movie that stars me. I am in the movie writing the script as I go. None of us choose to be victims, but unfortunately some of us choose to stay victims rather than become survivors. This is to say nothing of circumstances or things outside our control. This is a comment on how incredibly powerful we are by merely deciding to take action and create, change or fight back.
Now let’s get out there and keep resiliencing!
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
When I was a junior in high school I watched an episode of Chappelle’s Show and it dawned on me – I too wanted to make “funny videos”. Now I’m a writer, actor and comedian in Los Angeles, California baby! Growing up in Texas in a family full of public school teachers, everything was a lesson and nothing was affordable. I honed my comedic talents at Second City in Chicago, The Onion, and Groundlings creating sketches, comedic articles, and plays before focusing on TV writing. Recently, my script Camp Walnut was featured in the second round of the Austin Film Festival. I’ve been inspired by growing up religious, but later living around the world. Now I use screenwriting to explore catharsis and cognitive dissonance in fish-out-of-water TV comedies. I think my love of creating nuanced and funny-as-hell stories comes from my experience of worlds colliding, both spiritual and irreverent.
I do comedy because I want to make people feel the way I feel when I watch a show or performance I love. I want audiences to come away with a sense of hope, relief and escapism after watching my comedy. The art form is a brutal one, but so fulfilling when you see smiles on people’s faces and laughs coming out of those faces.
Whether on stage, screen or the page, I like to dig in and keep churning until I’m able to find what works for an audience or story. Usually while acting I’m a high energy goofball and while writing I’m procrastinating. Right now I’m working on two projects: a family comedy body swap feature where an evil cell phone app traps the mayor of a Texas town and a self loathing 14 year old boy in each others’ bodies and a mockumentary pilot about a beta male teacher trying to save their struggling adult ESL school from shutting down.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Whether going through a traumatic time or trying to do comedy, remember three things: patience, mindfulness and discipline.
First pop out tha box, patience is a tough one. I am impatient. Very impatient. It’s one of my greatest faults as a person, but, by God, it’s a requirement. This industry (and many of life’s tribulations) demand patience. Don’t expect to land a starring role or sell a script within a year of being in LA. Likewise, don’t expect to be back to 100% after one week of physical therapy. Daily reminders and noting how long it took others who’ve had success in similar endeavors can help us stay patient.
Mindfulness is a buzzword these days that gets further trivialized with each Instagram post. If your goal is to be the best you can be at something or endure a hardship as best you can, then checking in with yourself to see how you’re really (like really, really) doing is going to help you reach that goal. Especially in LA, sacrifice in the name of your art is lionized. To an unhealthy level. Many people essentially subscribe to an outlook that if you’re not miserable while trying to “make it” then you’re doing it wrong and other people are getting ahead. Newsflash: you’re not going to make your best work if you’re strung out and miserable. Taking stock of how to best care for yourself can make you better and in turn make your work better.
Not in opposition to, but in accordance with mindfulness is discipline. Even if you don’t feel like you’re making progress to overcome that obstacle or improve your work, staying consistent with your craft is one of the best ways to make yourself better. Waiting for inspiration is an illusion. You have to get out there in the trenches day in and day out to engender that inspiration and ability. Discipline has to be balanced with self love, but doing the work will make you better. Create a schedule and a sacred time and space to work your craft daily.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
The biggest challenge right now is that I have a beautiful 6 month old baby boy! He is the best part of my life. However, it is a struggle to have the energy and time I need to create a great script or shoot a funny sketch. I mention patience earlier and it is coming in handy as a skill right now. I know I won’t be this busy forever (newborns and infants are their own thing) and that I’ll soon be able to return to creating like I want to. I try my best to plan my day and jump on the computer to get writing done when I have the opportunity. I ask my wife to take the baby for certain periods of the day (like right now as I type) and I will take him when she needs a break.
It’s also important to just stay in the moment and go about the work. I personally get too caught up in trying to plan everything perfectly. But that’s not how life works. You have to jump in and start doing without knowing the ending which is, paradoxically, more practical because we can’t know the ending. You don’t know how you’re going to do something until you’ve done it. I try to remind myself of that often.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.colbykennedy.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instacolby12/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLNspSRtCTVJao2RLTM3dEQ
- Other: [email protected]
Image Credits
Melanie Alice Photography Sarah Elizabeth Larson Photography
