We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Crissy London a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Crissy, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Developing my confidence and self-esteem was a life long process. I appear very confident today but people have no idea the amount of real work and sweat it took for me to get here. When I was a child, I was the shy kid. I didn’t talk to anyone I wasn’t familiar with until I got to observe them for a little bit and get comfortable with them. I read a lot. I listened to a lot of music. I sang. I played the piano. I danced. I was never popular. I always knew a lot of people but my friend groups have always been somewhat small. I had to deal with A LOT of bullying throughout my life by many different types of people. I think I was about 11/12 when I decided that being “shy” was no longer serving my best interests. I wasn’t able to make new friends being shy and both my parents were in the army so we moved around quite frequently. I never had the same friend group through the years so developing the skills to learn how to adapt to a new environment and be able to stand alone was something I had a lot of practice in. I turned to sports. For me back then, sports was a great way to meet new friends and get integrated into a new environment. Now it wasn’t always a foolproof plan because I remember back in 9th grade I was bullied by the girls on the basketball team. So I started wrestling the next year and I was the only girl on the team. This really helped me to build myself up. I had to stand alone in a sea of guys and really hold my own/stand on business. I ended up wrestling the next year again being one of two girls on the team. My record wasn’t great. I officially won 3 matches against the boys over those years but those were 3 hard earned matches. I had to move during my senior year so I literally don’t know most of the people I graduated with. I started wrestling when I got to my new school in Texas where they did have a girls team. I was able to make friends. My record was 30 wins and 2 losses. I was 1st in the district, 3rd in the region and I won 3rd in state. By then, I was confident. My body was in shape. I went toe to toe with girls on a daily and put them on their backs. But what they didn’t see was me on my back for the 2 years while I was wrestling only boys. I guess life has a way to prepare you if you are looking to expand. Expand I did. Having my background in moving around so much I kept being brave and moving around as an adult. I went to Baylor University where I had received 2 Bachelors Degrees in Archaeology and Anthropology. Which definitely had its challenges because as I mentioned before, I come from a military family so I had to learn how to balance my life. My mother was deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan a few times. She had even been deployed to Korea. While she away I took care of her house and learned very young about being independent. My parents were divorced by the time I was 10 so I only saw my father during the summers. After college, I worked as an archaeologist doing cultural resource management on and off for 13ish years. Which was kinda wild because when you accept a project, it can be located anywhere, for who knows how long. Literally like a “can you drive to Minnesota tomorrow because we start on Monday” kinda thing. It was exciting. I was living out of a suitcase with my car going from hotel room to hotel room which the companies I worked for would provide where ever the project sites were located. So that definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone plenty of times. Especially as a biracial because coming onto a new project in my field, I am 9/10 going to be THE ONLY MINORITY around for miles. Also being a woman. There are more women now in the field but I remember starting out at field school and the older gentlemen asking us if we could even lift the buckets of soil out of the holes. That or some guys assume as a woman it will take me longer to dig/excavate. When I say that imagine the movie Holes lol… So that took me to so many random places/states/small town/rural areas where people like me don’t exist. I’ve met so many different types of people from so many so different cultures. Eventually that brought me here to LA. Now I understand who I am. I spent so many years standing alone in my own authentic energy. I have gotten to learn to take the time to pour into myself and figure out what I want, what my purpose is, and what kinds of habits I want to be consistent with. I had to separate the person people have projected upon me and really sit with myself to figure out who am I? What things do I like? What are my boundaries? Once you figure out who you are and what you are not, being confident is easy. But you have to take the time to sit with yourself and analyze yourself. Take a real good look at yourself and your habits. What is aligning with your spirit? What is not? Life is not a competition. But it is. You against you. I learned that you have to embrace who you are. Whoever you are. I am not a title. I am not a category. I am dynamic. I am multi-faceted. I love to do many things. I am a Mom now. I am pursuing my artistic passions. I am learning how to be confident in the new passions I am pursuing. I am learning the importance of what a good daily routine has upon your life. I am learning how to balance the artist in me with the duties of being a parent. Long story short, confidence isn’t something you might be comfortable with on day one but learn to love yourself regardless and TRY to do your best at whatever it is you are trying. Don’t be afraid to DO. Don’t be afraid to GO. Don’t be afraid to “be cringe”. Don’t be afraid to be the ONLY ONE. At the end of the day, we were all given a great opportunity here on Earth to LIVE. TO BREATHE. TO LAUGH. TO LOVE. TO CREATE. So be BOLD and be yourself. Most of your life’s purpose lies in being authentic to your own soul. No one else is meant to be you. Practice being confident. Write affirmations to program your mind to healthy positive thoughts about yourself. Go for a walk. Eat a balanced diet. Meditate. Connect with the Earth. Your health is very important and closely connected to your mental wellbeing. Take care of yourself and keep your head up. Life is to be lived and experienced.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
These days I am CEO of my clothing brand, La Beachy Day. We have a lot of fun, athleisure type clothes perfect for the beach, yoga, or chilling around the city. You can find our styles at www.labeachyday.com.
I have been content creating for the last few years and vlogging my experiences, projects, fun, etc. I am working on my mixtape. I sing, rap, act, model, etc. I used to podcast and have a web series that I’d be interesting in doing again with the right people.
I have been painting a lot more. It’s allowing my creativity to really get flowing. I also blog so if you want to check that out or read more of my writings, you can find that at www.cmoneyoutloud.com.
(From there also you can get to the links of my store, music, blogs, etc.)
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
- I cannot express the importance of a daily routine.
Now growing up, I hated consistency. I hated to do the same thing every day. I didn’t like doing anything mundane. I guess you could say that’s why I chose non-conventional job. The idea of going to the same cubicle or office was dreadful for me. So of course this would be my next lesson in life. Probably the most important. I find that the days I set an intention when I wake up, I am the most productive. Now it’s not all about being productive because that creates burn out. So finding a way to balance work, maintaining your environment, pouring back into yourself with self care, pursuing your passions, etc. is key to your success. I had to learn that just because I wasn’t constantly doing, doesn’t mean I am not doing. We tend to focus on the productivity and view rest as being not productive. But being burned out, doesn’t allow for the best results. So when I wake up now, on a “perfect” day, I take a shower, I write in my journal and I take out my planner. I figure out what needs to be done today and I keep it pushing.
- The planner: I used to hate the planner because it would give me anxiety about the things I had to do. Once I changed my perspective on how I used it. That changed everything. Before I used the planner strictly as a tool to tell me what I needed to do in the future. Now I use it to document my day. That way at the end of the day/week/month. I could see what I spent my time on. It is important to approach this as non-judgmental as possible because it doesn’t matter how long you watched Netflix yesterday. What are you going to do with your time today? What about tomorrow?
- Grounding: If you aren’t into spirituality that is okay. Grounding is the activity of connecting yourself to the Earth. The way we are living now in these concrete jungles is not how we have lived before. We are apart of the Earth. Not having the connection to the Earth has an effect on the mind and the body. With all of life going on around us, it is important to stop and connect with the ground, the sky, the sun, the moon, the trees, the flowers, the wildlife, etc. Earth is our home. There is so much beauty to be had out here if we would only stop for a second and really take a look around. Take off your shoes. Go walk through some grass. Sit on the beach. Climb a mountain. Swim in a river. Smell the flowers.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
I had read Siddhartha and the Epic of Gilgamesh right before I began my path to Enlightenment when I was 14. I had had some crazy traumatic thing happen at school and I prayed to God to give me Enlightenment. I’m still on my way there but I’m growing wiser everyday. And you know I wasn’t going to talk about it. But I think that sharing might be part of my purpose. What had happened was a teacher mine read this long love letter I had written to a boy in front of the whole class. I was absolutely mortified. Now I think I am supposed to share love with others. I want to sing music that uplifts people. It’s taken me so long because I’m still learning to find the right words to say. Words are important. Words have power. Use them wisely.
I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and that gave me the strength to never settle. I don’t know if you read it but I always think about the crystal shop. Am I in the crystal shop? Have I been distracted from where I’m really trying to go? The crystal shop is a good life. It’s stable. It’s reliable. But is this the end of my journey? Have I settled?
I read The Artist Way by Julia Cameron. That gave me the drive to add my passions TO MY SCHEDULE. Before I wasn’t allowing myself to focus fully and be present. The artist way, was not something I was allowed to dream growing up. My mother is Asian and if you have an Asian parent then you already know. We are to be doctors or lawyers. We are required to go to college and get straight A’s. Doing the things I love were never available to me as career options… or so I thought.
I read The Power of Habits by Charles Duhigg and made me realize that many of the things I was doing, was only purely out of habit. The things I was saying or doing were algorithms I had learned over the years growing up. Being more present allows for you to CHOOSE new patterns. Create new algorithms. Am I reacting or am I making a conscience decision?
I really appreciate the opportunity Bold Journey has given me here to express myself and be heard. Feel free to follow me on my self love journey which will be a lifelong process that I am looking forward to for as long as I’m here.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.cmoneyoutloud.com
- Instagram: @c_money_253
- Facebook: Crissy London
- Twitter: @I_Never_fall
- Youtube: @c_money_253
- SoundCloud: C Money London
