We recently connected with Debra Thomas and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Debra, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
The first thing I had to do was have a heart-to-heart talk with myself; looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person I once was, I realized that I and I alone had to take control of my self-confidence and self-esteem. And the only way to do that is to examine myself and where I was. Once I discovered that, I realized the only person who could build my self-confidence or self-esteem was myself. So I began to do the work, spending time with myself with positive affirmations, removing the boundaries of my life and limitations, taking a chance on my dreams, and walking in my purpose. I set small goals for myself to achieve larger goals. And I Learned to love myself right where I was to achieve to be better. One of the most important thing is to be gracious with yourself. To know that it’s OK not to be perfect.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Raised in a single-parent household with three siblings, I faced abandonment and rejection as my mother worked long hours to provide for us, and my father was absent. At 14, I prayed to survive until 18, burdened by anger, loneliness and sadness. I became a mother at 17, further complicating my tumultuous youth. At 24 years of age I married. In that marriage I dealt with 12 years of physical abuse in silence and 18 years of psychological and emotional abuse. Finally, after 28 years, I divorced and started a new journey. doing my journey, as I was working very hard to improve myself become a better part of myself I got injured on my job. Without notice I had to start life all over again. I lost everything My Home, my foster son, my vehicles, and my dream job, moved in with my daughter . For the first time in my life, I was living with someone. On top of that, I had to leave where most of my children were living, which is in the state of Washington to a new state in Dallas, Texas. However, what seem to be a tragedy end up being the best thing that ever could happen to me. My experiences led me to find purpose. Today, I run “Safe Place for Children,” a nonprofit providing support and resources for single mothers and children facing similar struggles. As a life coach and CBT practitioner, I specialize in working with children with behavioral issues. My journey enables me to connect deeply with the community I serve.
Our organization offers four key programs:
Wonders of the World (WOW)
– Focuses on behavior modification.
Little Adults in Development (L.A.I.D)
– Addresses child development issues.
Wisdom Kids Life Coach
– Enhances self-confidence and self-esteem through 27 skill sets.
Beautiful Reflections
– Supports women experiencing loss, trauma, and transitions, offering mentorship, financial literacy, health and wellness, self-care, and beauty.
We are also launching a thrift and gift store providing low-cost, high-quality merchandise, further supporting our community. I am now happily married. It will be four years in July. I am the youth Director of my church and a minister. .
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
One significant turning point for me was looking in the mirror and not recognizing the reflection that stared back at me. It was then that I realized I needed to make choices that would lead me to a fulfilling and purposeful life. By addressing the broken pieces within me, I rediscovered myself around the age of 50, unsure of my identity or preferences. What I was certain of was that I deserved more than my current life – I was worthy of self-love and care. Despite knowing there was a challenging journey ahead, I relied on my resilience as a key skill. I was determined to pursue my dreams and fulfill my purpose as ordained by God. Setting new boundaries, practicing self-care in all aspects, and nurturing resilience were crucial steps towards finding joy. I made sure to maintain my self-esteem, show kindness to myself, and establish healthy boundaries in relationships. Embracing mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning from them was vital for personal development. Failure to learn from mistakes can lead to stagnation and self-sabotage. Remember, mistakes are meant to build strength, wisdom, and resilience.
What would you advise – going all in on your strengths or investing on areas where you aren’t as strong to be more well-rounded?
I firmly believe that it’s beneficial to push yourself not only in your areas of strength but also in those that require improvement. This holistic approach allows you to explore new territories, broaden your horizons, and achieve a more balanced life. Focusing solely on your strengths can hinder personal growth and development. To me, life is akin to a deck of cards, unpredictable and full of surprises. Situations can shift unexpectedly, necessitating a blend of leveraging strengths and addressing weaknesses. As the founder and CEO of a nonprofit organization, I feel confident in my ability to communicate, coach, mentor, and offer guidance within my community. An area of growth for me involves utilizing social media to engage with online audiences, seek donations, and provide assistance – a realm that has challenged me due to its unfamiliarity. By embracing these challenges and stepping out of my comfort zone, I have experienced personal growth, evolving into a more capable individual. I now firmly believe in my ability to tackle any task, understanding that success may not match others’ standards but striving to give my best effort at my own level.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.safeplace4children.com
- Instagram: safeplace4children.dthomas/Instagram
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/dthomascertifiedkidscoach/
- Linkedin: http://linkedin.com/in/debra-thomas-6426082b6
