We were lucky to catch up with Deidra Okwena recently and have shared our conversation below.
Deidra, so great to have you with us today. There are so many topics we want to ask you about, but perhaps the one we can start with is burnout. How have you overcome or avoided burnout?
Being of Jamaican heritage, our culture is used to working many jobs to the point of burnout. I however was forced to write a different narrative. Many chapters of my life I have experienced burnout and as a result my health was always compromised. Burnout manifested for me in ways such as panic attacks, was very sick, severely depressed or was extremely fatigued. I finally was tired of going through the same damaging cycle and decided to take control of my life. Through therapy I learned that I do not have to spread myself so thin to please people. I had to be healed of people pleasing and started establishing boundaries. I also had to face my perfectionism disease head on. I finally realized that no one on earth is perfect so what makes me think I can be? I started to indulge in activities that brought me peace and that is what helped me experience less burnout. – I made sure that I got a monthly massage
– I listened to music that made me dance and made me happy
– I made sure to say the word “no” without feeling guilty
– Due to my experience working for a startup, I learned that I will never work 80 hours a week for another company again. I knew from then on that I would never put email on my phone and I wouldn’t work after hours unless I had to.
– I made sure that I slept and rested as much as I could
– I started acrylic painting and made sure that I put an element of “mistake” in my pieces.
– Going on vacations became essential, to recharge and refocus. From week vacations to long weekends that is a staple in my life from when I was single to now married and with a child.
– I became an avid meditation guru! Meditation helped me calm down and breathe and focus on the present moment
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am the child of immigrants from Jamaica so I was always encouraged to be my best and rise above all others to succeed. My long term goal is to focus more on my acrylic art. I love being creative, it unlocks a part of my soul that shines bright! My art can be found under the name of Art by Deidra @ArtbyDeidra (instagram). I plan on having a website in the future as well. I would love for my art to be displayed in hotels and museums nationwide! I do not have any art shows planned as of now but I am finalizing the decorating/organizing of our new home. I feel once that is done and I have carved out a space to create my art in the basement I can continue on the path I was before covid. Before covid I participated in three different art shows and had more on the horizon before covid. I just have been preoccupied since covid but I plan on getting back out there! My pieces are all abstract. I want to encourage adults especially to use their imagination and see what they want in my pieces. Adults today are too focused on bills and work, that they do not use their imagination anymore. I also have an element of “error” in my pieces to further exercise my healing from being a perfectionist. There is beauty in the “flaws” of life. I also put so much love into my pieces they are a positive addition to any space.
I have put art on hold however because I have a fulltime job as an IT project Manager and I just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I am focused on getting through postpartum and keeping my family household running. My other focus is our family business, an immigration Lawfirm. I assist on the back end in my free time. My husband is a prominent federal US Immigration Attorney who is well known in the Denver immigrant community. He will be barred in Colorado in 2024 so the firm will be expanding to other areas of law. To find out more about my husbands lawfirm please visit: www.okwenaimmigration. @okwenaimmigration on instagram and facebook.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Resilience – Being able to bounce back from life’s setbacks is vital in day to day life. One thing that is always promised in this life is adversity and setbacks. I could have been destroyed by some of the experiences I have experienced. But due to having hope in my faith, a strong supportive family unit, and coping mechanisms I have reached a place in life where I am very proud. In order to build on this you will need to have your own coping mechanisms. Things you do to make you happy and feel rejuvenated. Is that a massage, time with family, time alone? Find whatever works for you it will help you bounce back.
Communication – This is a skill that is very necessary in EVERY aspect of life. Proper communication can change everything. It can save relationships, jobs and so much more. I am an over communicator actually. I naturally include tons of details so there is little to be questioned. I think that was apart of my upbringing. My Dad wanted me to be as detailed as possible and now I have a problem with being concise. To improve communication skills just start with including as much details as possible, Communicate things that you think would be helpful for the relationship. I like to be proactive as well and communicate things before the questions are answered. Try everything in your power to not procrastinate.
Positivity – Behind closed doors I allow myself to release as much as I need to but public facing I am as positive as I can be. I feel that todays society is so negative, violent and divisive. It is essential to focus on the positive. Especially when there are so many others that would love my life. Unity and being a bright spot in someone’s day always makes my day. I love encouraging and uplifting others. Write down things that you are thankful for… once you see that list it will help you remain positive. The default is for us all to focus on the negative. I found that watching the news makes me sad so I avoid the news and things that bring me down. Hearing about new shootings every week was not helping me. Avoid things that will not allow you to be positive.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
Currently with so much on my plate: Being a wife, a new Mom, several jobs my main challenge is balancing everything effectively. I have to stay organized with my time or things will not get done. If I do not put it in my calendar or write it down it will not happen. I am trying to make sure that I write lists and do not procrastinate on things that I need to do. I am also trying to make sure that I take time to rest and exercise my boundaries. I know the feeling of burnout so I make sure that I check in with myself often. I also realize that I am only one person and I cannot do it all. I am starting to see who I can outsource things to as well to help my load. One thing I have done is used instacart to get groceries! It really saves time! I take it one day at a time and trying to remain positive with all that’s on my plate. I know that one day I will be able to be creative again with my abstract acrylic art! If anyone has shows or connections, I’d really appreciate it! I also do custom pieces 🙂
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @artbydeidra & @okwenaimmigration
- Facebook: Okwena Immigration
- Linkedin: Deidra Okwena
