Meet Diego Ornelas-Tapia

We recently connected with Diego Ornelas-Tapia and have shared our conversation below.

Diego, thank you so much for making time for us. We’ve always admired your ability to take risks and so maybe we can kick things off with a discussion around how you developed your ability to take and bear risk?
I didn’t start taking risks until the Summer of 2017. Prior to that time, I was like Chidi from The Good Place or George McFly from Back to the Future, heck, even Connell from Normal People: I was my own worst enemy. I suffered from immense insecurity and anxiety, and I analyzed things so much so that I became paralyzed. I wouldn’t take action. I’d remain living my fantasies in my head like Walter Mitty, too fearful of failure and rejection and pain to bring them to fruition.

So, what happened in the Summer of 2017?

A toxic relationship (I was the main culprit in the toxicity) I was in for five and a half years ended. To make a long story short, the end of this relationship was a blessing. It made me realize I was a sh*tty and negative person and swear that I’d change my life for the better. This promise set me on the path to becoming a fictional author and, since then, risk has been embedded into my blood. Into my DNA.

So, to answer the question as bluntly as possible, adversity was the spark I needed to develop the ability to take a risk in my life, be it in personal or professional matters. This spark, in the form of the end of a relationship, made me realize I wanted to become a fictional author. And, in order to become a successful author, I knew I would need to attract risk like a moth is attracted to the flame. Because greatness, growth, and anything worthwhile in this life, CANNOT be achieved without risk.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m a fictional author who writes in various genres. I also manage my own Substack where I share my thoughts on life, mental health, and behind-the-scenes content in my books. Currently, the stories I’ve got lined up deal with f*ck*d up people trying to do better in life, to become better human beings but are failing miserably.

I released my first self-published novella, To Tame a Dame, in the summer of 2021. Although my first full-length book, Void, never found life in the traditional publishing route, I can wholeheartedly say that I’m gosh darn proud of it. In the words of the kind and misunderstood Walter White, “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. It made me feel… alive.”

What sets me apart and what should you know about me?

With each book, I like to challenge myself by trying something new. The book I’m working on now, a modern The Catcher in The Rye sprinkled with Squid Game and Fight Club elements, is the first book I’m writing in first-person. More than that, though, it’s the first book I’m really pushing myself with my boundaries.

What do I mean by that?

Well, there have been times creating this book where I, the author, have stopped and intervened in the middle of a violent or controversial scene that I just know will cause a major backlash. “Should I censor or cut out this part?” I’d wonder as I re-read what I just wrote, fearing the backlash I’d get in the future.

“No. F*ck no,” I’d reassure myself after a moment. “This story must be told as is, come what may.”

I challenge myself. I try something new with each book, unafraid of the risk. THAT’S what sets me apart. THAT’S what you should know about me.

“My books are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get.”

What is most exciting about writing a book is the surprises it has in store for me. For example, I may go into a chapter with a plan in mind, but, as the story unfolds naturally, that plan tends to fly out the window and something totally new and exciting takes hold.

I love that.

I mean, it’s similar to life, isn’t it? You set off to Harvard, convinced the path of a lawyer is for you, but once you get there, once you encounter new people, new perspectives, and new experiences, your love of the law fades and your love of something new takes hold.

It’s beautiful, life’s surprises. And magical. And it’s that magic I strive to nurture into my stories.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Self-confidence, self-awareness, and resilience, in that specific order.

Self-confidence. This is the MOST important quality of them all. Without it, nothing matters. Your work, your effort, your time towards a goal, towards the manifestation of a dream will all be in vain if you don’t f*cking believe in yourself. And when I say believe in yourself, I mean BELIEVE IT. FEEL IT. ENVISION IT.

Picture your future in that dream of yours, what it looks like, what it feels like, and don’t stop picturing it until you’ve got goosebumps all over your f*ck*ng body. Until you’ve got a raging fire in your heart hungry to take action. Hungry to bring your dream to fruition. Got it? Good. Remember that feeling on the difficult days. On the days your belief in yourself, in your dreams, is nearly empty. It’ll keep you going, my friend. f*ck*ng stress just how important self-confidence is. How powerful. The Empire Strikes Back perfectly encapsulates the importance and power of self-confidence when Yoda is training Luke Skywalker in the ways of the force. In one scene, Luke tries to levitate his crashed ship out of the swamp. He fails, soon wallowing in his own misery. As Luke wallows, Yoda does what Luke declares to be impossible: he levitates the ship out of the swamp. “I don’t believe it!” Luke proclaims as he rushes over to Yoda.

Yoda’s response? “THAT is why you fail.”

BELIEVE in yourself, folks. To many, Yoda’s words will remain a fiction and the impossible is just that, not possible. But, it’s possible. ANYTHING is possible. You just have to believe it. Feel it. Envision it.

Got it? Good.

Now you’re ready to tackle the next quality: self-awareness.

“You must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself.” — Zuko

In order to attain a goal, you MUST know who you are. How you act, how you think, and the working conditions that work best for you. For example, in terms of writing routines for my books, I aim to work four to five hours a day, split into two sessions. My word count goal for the week is 5,000 words. Sometimes, I don’t get to that weekly goal and that’s ok. Why? Because I know that somehow, someway, I’ll get to my monthly quota of 20,000 words.

In the creative field and discipline of writing, my self-awareness has never been an issue. Where I failed was in the marketing end. I can explain. LET ME EXPLAIN. Community reference. Got it? No? Moving on.

I’m an extremely reserved and private man. That’s how I am, how I’ve always been, and always will be. Social media ruined that part of me. See, in the book world, there are countless books, opinions, and figures that tell you what social media to use in order to be a successful author. “TikTok,” someone would claim, listing Alex Aster, an author who found success via TikTok as an example that others must follow.

And so I used TikTok. And Instagram. And Twitter. And so many countless other social apps, hoping to find success like Alex Aster. Did I succeed? No. Of course not! Why? Because I never truly liked using any of these apps. Because these apps go against who I am: an extremely reserved and private man.

Success has many roads. Your job is to figure out the road that best works for you. Oh, there isn’t a road to your way of being? Forge your own.

Ok. So, you’ve got the belief in yourself, you’ve got the self-awareness, now all that’s required is resilience.

And how do you develop resilience? Simple, by doing. By taking the risk and welcoming failure and rejection with open arms. The more you fail, the thicker your skin will become. Ok, maybe not. It still stings. And I still fall, badly, mind you. But, the time it takes for me to pick myself up has gotten faster and faster.

Nevertheless, with resilience comes skill and growth and, for authors or any other creative artist, style. It also boosts those first two qualities: self-confidence and self-awareness.

In the pursuit, no, no, the manifestation of a dream, I think the mindset you want to achieve is a quiet but certain confidence that need not be said but felt. By believing in yourself, knowing yourself, and taking action with a resilient spirit, you’ll unlock that state of mind in due time.

Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
Me. That’s it. That’s my answer. BYE.

I’m kidding. Kind of. Not really.

Yes, yes, I know I’m supposed to be humble and gracious and whatnot, but all the skills, qualities, and knowledge I’ve garnered have been all thanks to me. I mean, here’s the thing, you guys, I’m the ONLY author in my circle of friends. And family. Okay, maybe not friends, but see, these friends view writing as a hobby, and so a hobby is all it will remain unless they change their mindset.

Fictional writing isn’t a hobby, it’s my profession. My life. Dramatic, you say? I DON’T CARE. I’m probably messing up the words, but in Stephen King’s memoir, he said something along the lines that if you’re going into writing, go into it dramatically. If you’re mad, express that anger on the page. Depressed? The page. Joy? The page. Whatever it is you’re feeling, go into it dramatically but please, PLEASE, do not go into it quietly. Safely. This is writing, for God’s sake, take it seriously. If not, there’s the door.

I’ve taken it seriously. And all the challenges and failures I’ve overcome, all the skills and confidence I’ve gained have been completely on my own.

With that said, there has been one constant figure in my life whose very presence inspires me to do more and be more. That figure is my dad. In a world where friends come and go because of their absence of a healthy growth mentality up to my level, my dad has always been there.

He’s a lion among lions.

I always believed I was a snow leopard. I declared this to a classmate in the English teaching CELTA course back in 2018. She disagreed, stating, “I see you more like a lion.”

I didn’t believe it then.

I’m starting to now.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Book Covers by Jeff Brown. Headshot by Mo McFadden.

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