We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Dr. Kristen Garubba. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Kristen below.
Hi Dr. Kristen , thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I think imposter syndrome is normal for most clinicians when they first begin to work with clients because we are scared and nervous they will find us out. This feeling heightened for me when I became a program/clinical director because I feared so much that not only the trainees assigned to but but the staff and clients would somehow “find out I didn’t have it together.” It is in this moment that you forget all the skills and training you have and any experience prior that led you to the moment that you are in today. Through continued “jumping into the water” and watching videos of myself when available, and hearing freed back from peers, students, employees, and clients did I begin to realize that I just might have something here in my skill set. I remain somewhat nervous when I do trainings or when I am prepping for a class to lecture, but I just go for it and for the most part it turns out ok. I think what is important to remember that no one is perfect and you need to be ok with the mistakes you might make along the way.
As one of my ballroom dance instructors told me before a competition “no one knows the routine but you and I, if you. miss a step, unless you show it in your face, no one will ever know.”
I try to keep this in mind at all times and when I am training clinicians and students I tell them the same thing.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
it is difficult to sum myself up with a tag line or two about what I do because I am blessed to be able to be so many things to so many people which can become tiring at times. However, it is the most fulfilling time of life for me as I enter in new adventures on some arenas and conitnue to grow and hone skills in my older, more long time held jobs and roles., Most importantly, I became a single mother to my son Cameron who is almost six months old at the time of this interview. My journey to have him began when I made the choice to have a child of my own. I contacted the fertility doctor I used to work for and told her it was time to become a mom. I went through the process of selecting a donor and with much luck I was able to conceive on my first try with artificial insemination. My son came into the world with a bang on April first and I could not be more blessed to be his mother. On top of the challenges of being a new mom, I also manage the ever present mommy guilt of working hard to provide care which can mean long days at times. Its a journey I do not regret taking for one moment.
To better support my kiddo and slow down a bit, I recently took a postition at the Chicago School which hosts a graduate program for up and coming therapists. I work hard with these students in the training department to support them as they practice their skills as therapists to prepare to enter the real world following graduation. Within this position I also get to indulge in my other passion of teaching where I provide insight, education, and real world knowledge to both Masters and Doctoral students. It is so rewarding to have students learning, sharing, growing, and coming back to me after the course to share how they have used the knowledge they gained in my courses in the past. While there are some struggles as a professor and trainer that might make things hard, I maintain the drive and patience to work through each problem and find a workable (for the most part) solution.
I think the most exciting new addition to my life recently, aside from my son, is the work I get to do as part of EMDR professional training which is a company designed to train therapist in the skills of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This is better known as EMDR therapy which has gotten a lot of attention in recent years. As part of my connection with this group, I train EMDR therapists in an urge reduction protocol to help with addiction, OCD behaviors, phobias and other challenging behaviors. This has been incredibly rewarding to work with therapists and teach them new skills to expand their implementation of EMDR therapy and focus in on a specific skill set. Each year the trainings have become more popular and only grow. I love hearing former participants email me with how the work has improved the lives of their clients.
lastly, my private practice which focuses on trauma and addiction continues to thrive, although it has slowed down a bit to allow me to focus on being a mommy and work with my graduate students. I love coming into the office and working with my clients each week to see how thier lives have improved and how I can continue to help them grow using my expertise and skills.
All of these experiences in recent years have made for an incredible journey filled with joy, tears, sleepless nights that somehow leave me still tired, and a sense of accomplishment knowing I have reached once unthinkable heights through the work I have put in and the support of family, friends, mentors, and peers.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
When I think about the skills that are needed here, there are so many that make us great but I know, for me, it has been, among many, the following: tenacity, the ability to see my own potential, and having humility while giving yourself grace. Tenacity has gotten me through many of the hardest and worst times in my life. Whether it is hanging on and busting out the work for my dissertation when I thought I would never get it done on time, to wanting to give up on private practice because I opened it right when the pandemic hit and I was so scared I had taken a terrible leap from my full time job. When I went through my divorce and was not able to partner again after 10 years, I thought I would never be able to parent and it was hanging on and keeping moving ahead I was able to make my beautiful boy happen. Most of all, tenacity will carry you as far as you can see yourself going and then some.
Seeing your own potential is another key still to make it to where I have made it today. This goes back to talking earlier about imposter syndrome. Sometimes, you just have to believe you can do it, fake it, and figure it out knowing you can do it. There are many points in life where others told me I was not good enough or didn’t believe I could do the things I wanted to do. Heck, I didn’t believe it myself some times. I remember the early days in my career as a budding therapist when I thought I would never get a job because I didn’t have the experience to get a job but I kept going and got my first full time job as a therapist and it only continued from there because I began to realize I could be more, and so I became more year after year promotion after promotion, and experience after experience culminating in taking the leap to opening my own business.
Humility and grace are also required to get ahead and grown. One needs to understand they do not have all the answers, they will make mistakes, and there are others who will know more than you and might actually have some good things to teach you. I must admit I had moments of non-humility and it got me into some trouble and I missed out on opportunities to grow. Giving yourself grace comes in handy when you make mistakes and are feeling like you will never it right. Yes you will, it just takes being ok with failing and trying again. It is never. a failure if you grow and giving yourself grace will keep you moving ahead and learning from each mistake you. make, job left, or difficult persons encountered
For those who are working on these skills what I can say is that its hard, its tough, its frustrating, angry making, and scary. But no one ever reached great heights through giving up or giving in to those who tell them no or they cannot do it. Be as humble as you are able, learn all you can, and never ever ever ever give up. You will make it in time but you must put in the work. Rely on feedback from others, take what you need and leave the rest. Remember you are not perfect and you are going to mess up. Its ok to do so. Above all else, ask for help, lean on support persons, and put your pride aside when you’re struggling.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
I think this is an important question to talk about for those who are coming up in the field. There are often so many other things happening in life when careers are growing and changing, education and training is being sought, or when life is just plain happening. It can come in so quickly, you just might lose track of what you were focusing on, forget things, or feel like you want to hide away and cry, sleep, or scream. Its ok, and we need to do these things sometimes to care for ourselves. I have experienced many feelings of being overwhelmed in the last year, heck in the last 5 months as my son has been added into the mix. At first, I tried to put on a smile and brave it through only breaking down on my own or with my trusted best friend. I found out very quickly, this was not the way to handle things and when I found myself crying on the bathroom floor with son in arms because I could not even get ready for work without him being upset, it was then I knew I needed to learn to plan for upset and business, find solution, and allow for hiccups.
To those who experience this, be sure you know what you can handle and only take on those things. Learn to say no and decline opportunities you cannot handle, trust me, new ones will come. When you are unsure of what you can take on, seek consult from trusted sources and work it through together. Above all, else and I cannot stress this enough, ask for a break when you need one, get support from those you care about, and be open about how you feel because chances are, those closest to you, or even your boss/supervisor is going to see it anyway despite your best efforts to hide it
Contact Info:
- Website: www.drkristengarubba.com
- Instagram: drkristengarubba
- Facebook: Hanai Center for Counseling and Wellness
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-kristen-garubba-macl-edd-322a40107/
Image Credits
None, these are taken from my iphone
