We were lucky to catch up with Dustin Abrego recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Dustin, thank you so much for joining us Before we dig deep and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a communicator at heart. My passion project and “side gig” if you will, is performance coaching. I define performance coaching as catalyzing communication while optimizing execution. Lots of $5 words to summarize that I help people get what they want in life. Many that I have coached indicated they were just getting by and had this agitated boredom about what they were doing. It was enough but like all of us they wanted something more. I help those I work with define what that more is and how to functionally scaffold their way to those goals. I do this via 1on1 coaching either in person or virtually. High performers need flexibility. I also periodically write via my newsletter and blog about topics around personal mastery, growth,m or other topics that interest me. My mission to help those around me get what they truly want. The puzzle that I get to help solve is seeing someone have that “aha! moment. It is my truest passion and drive, I am a hunter of human excellence.
We appreciate you opening up about the very personal topic of divorce. So many in the community are going through or have gone through divorce and we think hearing about how others dealt with the aftermath and managed to build a vibrant, successful life and career despite the trauma of divorce can be helpful to many who might be feeling a degree of hopelessness. So, maybe you can talk to us about how you overcame divorce?
Navigating a divorce during the pandemic, starting a new job, and moving to a new city all at the same time was immense. The usual ways that I would lean on in-person communication were out the window with the pandemic. I found immense compassion from those that I had mentored previously or colleagues that I did not expect. I had to rationalize in my mind constantly that I was not a failure. This person chose to give up on our relationship and I had to accept that. Most of this was done by being very rigorous with physical activity. I had casually enjoyed the gym, but I really buckled down because it frankly gave me a distraction. If I was physically exhausted I could actually fall asleep at night instead of swirling the thoughts in my brain.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. adaptive capacity
2. self-truth
3. humility
Adaptive capacity or resilience to not just give up. I am done for now, not forever has been a complete mindset shift. This comes from being able to be in the correct environment which I was fortunate enough to have from previous supervisors. They let me stumble without letting me fall flat on my face. Having a confidant to be able to work on this with you can be immensely helpful.
Self-truth is focusing on telling yourself the actual truth. It can be challenging to navigate all the cognitive biases and stories we tell ourselves. My classic example is talking about buying Oreos. I tell myself that “this time” I will pace myself and not eat them all in one sitting. I know that is a lie and then later am frustrated that I overshot my macros and calories for the day. Instead I now just accept that if I buy them, I am going to eat them in two sittings. Fighting yourself and self-loathing later is a habit to kick to the curb sooner rather than later.
Humility for me is simply saying “I don’t know”. I say it at least 5 times a day. It is still surprising to me how resistant people are to saying this simple phrase. Most are willing to explain or show you how to do something if you admit your limited knowledge. People love showing off how smart they are, so let them.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I am looking for those that are playing full-out. Those that are advancing and willing to put themselves out there. I try and distill their wisdom and messages into my own podcast interview titled “These Are Just Thoughts”. I want to hear from someone besides me. I practice what I preach and I am forever a student trying to grow. If they would like to collab and be open for an interview please email me [email protected] or connect with me on LinkedIn.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.dustinabrego.com/
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/dustinabrego
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/DustinAbrego
- Youtube: www.youtube.com/@dustinabrego3138
Image Credits
I have the rights to these photos.
