Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Ebanie Wilson . We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Ebanie, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
For me, mental health never became a topic of discussion until later in life. Growing up, no one talked about mental health. If you ever heard the term mental in connection with someone, it was just assumed that they had problems or that they were “crazy”. Up until recent years, mental health had always been a taboo concept, especially in the black community. I can remember experiencing bouts of depression in middle school, though at the time I didn’t know how to identify it as that. I didn’t have my first serious conversation about mental health and wellness until after I graduated high school. My symptoms started to peak when I was pregnant with my daughter. That was the first time I seriously started to sit with myself and try to figure out what was going on. I spent a lot of time in denial, not wanting to deal with the feelings I was having. The first step for me was acknowledgment. Once I acknowledged and accepted that I was struggling mentally, it felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off of me. I was finally able to breathe. Then I was able to get to the root of my issues. After that, I started looking at my environment and the things that were contributing negatively to the feelings I was having. I really think this is where it gets hard for a lot of people. Taking inventory of the things that are affecting your mental health also means taking accountability. There were a lot of things I couldn’t control, but there were also a lot of things I could. There’s a level of honesty required that, oftentimes, is easier to have with everyone else except ourselves. I spent a lot of time alone. Intentional solitude. I spent a significant amount of time in a space where the only voices I could hear were God’s and my own. I studied, researched, and was engulfed in everything related to mental health and wellness. I learned so much and realized that I had been incorrectly assuming things for so long. Not just about my own situation but mental health as a whole. Educating myself on what I was dealing with took away the shame and embarrassment that I felt before I understood what was going on with me. I started purging and reinventing myself with my newfound information. I tried different techniques to see what worked for me and what didn’t. Before long, I had a routine that worked for me. And I had a system in place that supported me mentally and could assist me when I started to feel myself slip back into that dark space. I went more of a natural holistic route: herbs, sunlight, grounding, exercise, prayer, and meditation. But I think it’s important to note that mental health is not a one-size-fits-all thing. Even people diagnosed with the same illness can have symptoms that manifest differently. It’s imperative for you to do your own research and due diligence to find what works for you. If you are struggling with severe and persistent problems, reach out and seek help from a therapist or doctor. Whatever you do, don’t wait until the pain is unbearable, and please do not feel ashamed! We are all affected by mental health in one way or another, whether we are ourselves or someone we know. Even if you aren’t experiencing any issues now, it’s important to check on your mental wellness just like you do your physical health. There are many online resources that you can use. You can Google signs and symptoms for different mental illnesses, even if you are not currently experiencing them. Knowing the signs and what to look out for can be a helpful preventative measure. My hope is that we can collectively continue to spread awareness about mental health and the resources available for those struggling, especially in the black community. There is hope, and there are resources out there to help. Please use them!
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I started my entrepreneurial journey in March 2021. My boutique, Fluuter Fashion, was the first business I started. I went to cosmetology school after I graduated high school, so I’ve always been connected to the beauty and fashion industries. After the pandemic hit and I saw how employment was being affected, I took a leap of faith and started my business. After starting my first business, the vision has gotten clearer. In September 2022, I started Three Seventeen Jewelry Co., a personalized jewelry company and my second project. I’ve always had a passion for beauty and fashion, and since stepping into entrepreneurship, I’ve grown a passion for business and financial literacy. I plan to take an inventive approach as I grow and establish my brands. I believe a million people can do what you do, but nobody can do it like you! I want to create household brands that deliver a high-caliber and captivating experience for customers. With Fluuter, I wanted to provide affordable fashion for women. I believe that when you look good, you feel good. (your outfit gotta make you feel good!) With Three Seventeen, personalized jewelry is such a unique and eye-catching way to express your style. I look to provide variety in my businesses while still being aware of and serving my target audience. I want my vision to properly translate through my work, and I want to create projects that are authentic and can be appreciated by my community. When people see my work, I want to leave them feeling inspired, encouraged, and anticipating more. I hope people see my work not just as a thing I do but as a part of who I am.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
One thing is being adaptable. Being adaptable is imperative for growth in every aspect of life, especially in business. I think the hardest part of entrepreneurship is staying consistent and pushing through the hard parts. It can be really discouraging when things don’t work out or go according to plan. It can feel like all of your hard work has been in vain. But by being adaptable and adjusting to the circumstances as they arise, you can change your narrative from if to when. You no longer get so disappointed that you start to say “I don’t know if this will work”. Being adaptable gives you the mindset of “It may not have happened like I planned, but I’ll be prepared for when it does”. Having an adaptable mindset takes a lot of anxiety and stress off your shoulders so that you can use your energy on other things that are more productive. Another quality that helped me is confidence. It took me some time to accurately define what confidence meant to me. The line between confidence and arrogance was always a struggle for me to identify. As I got older, I realized the way a person defines confidence depends heavily on how they view themselves. I noticed a lot of people will mistake confidence for arrogance if they feel intimidated or inadequate in their own abilities. Confidence is one of those qualities that affects everything you do. Anything you approach with a lack of confidence, you are unlikely to do well in. The same is true in business. Your clients and customers will know if you are not confident about your product or service. In my experience, being knowledgeable about what I’m doing significantly increases my confidence. If you are interested in or passionate about something, educate yourself about it. It is the biggest advantage you can give yourself, especially as an entrepreneur. You have to understand that confidence is not something that just happens. It’s a quality that you have to grow and develop, and it requires ongoing effort to maintain. Educating yourself, using affirmations, reading inspirational stories, and sharing in encouraging interactions will help to reinforce your confidence in yourself and your abilities. We all go through ups and downs, so remember to continually fill your cup to stay balanced. The third and most impactful thing for me was making a real, intentional effort to be present. It’s one of those things I’ve always heard a lot of sayings about: “There’s no time like the present.”, “The present is a gift.”, But when I actually experienced it for myself, it shifted things and gave them a whole new light. I realized worry serves absolutely no purpose and is the biggest thief of the present moment. When you worry, whether it be sulking about the past or biting your fingernails about the future, you rob yourself. You rob yourself of energy, of intention, and of your precious time. And what does worrying get you? Absolutely nothing. You cannot change the past, and whatever the future will be, it will be. Every time you worry, you take a loss. That was a mind-blowing revelation for me. I committed myself to never letting my anxiety rob me again. It took time and practice, and honestly, some days it still does, but having the knowledge of knowing how to bring yourself back to the present moment is key. Do breath work, count to 100, use your senses (sight, smell, hearing, etc.), and do whatever is necessary to get your mind back focused. Being intentionally present gives you an advantage that will drastically promote your growth and productivity. It gives you back your time, your freedom, your creativity, and your peace of mind. A win is a win.
Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
Be themselves. My parents have always shown up as who they are. Unapologetically. Seeing them be their authentic selves despite the feelings and opinions of others had a significant effect on me. As I got older and started to form my own opinions and ideas about the world, it made me see my parents in a different light. I believe that when we are younger, we only look at our parents as authoritative figures, but as we get older and have our own experiences as adults, we start to see them as people outside of who they are in a parental role. That realization was very insightful for me. I came to understand that they had their own hopes, ideas, and desires BEFORE they were parents and had to learn how to navigate the world just like I did. Even on things I didn’t fully understand or fully agree with them on, seeing their commitment to being authentic greatly contributed to my respect for them and their opinions. It also gave me a unique advantage. It helped me approach differing perspectives openly. Not always looking for agreeability, but comprehension. Being able to listen to and appreciate different ideas and beliefs from others, even if I don’t agree with them, has greatly enhanced the quality of not only my personal but my secular life as well. In business, when you are dogmatic about the approach and methods that you utilize, you can limit yourself. There are multiple ways to get to the same goal. Of course, due diligence is necessary to figure out what works best for you. Always do your research. But staying flexible and open-minded can align you with opportunities that you typically would not have been aware of or come into contact with. I think we have the tendency to feel that if we don’t agree with someone or their opinions, it means that they are not authentic. That’s not always the case. You can recognize someone’s talents, qualities, skills, and opinions even if they don’t align with your own. Sometimes some of the best relationships we have will come from those who have contrasting perspectives from ours. This applies to ALL areas of life—personally, socially, secularly, and romantically. We have to learn how to embrace and respect our differences. At the end of the day, we are all having a human experience, and we can all learn from one another. Even though I couldn’t see it and come to fully appreciate it until later in life, I am eternally grateful for the example both of my parents set for me. It has greatly contributed to who I am today as a woman. Regardless of what our personal opinions may be—agree or disagree—it takes a lot of courage to show up as YOU. I believe authenticity is something that should be celebrated.
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.threeseventeenjewelryco.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/threeseventeenjewelryco/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086019817853
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/317jewelryco
Image Credits
IG: @picturemepeachie IG: @201_visualarts
