We were lucky to catch up with Elian Monjack recently and have shared our conversation below.
Elian , so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I was my worst enemy, The Queen of low self-esteem,
And Self-judgments
Overthinking everything,
Caring too much what other people think of me,
Self-sabotage my efforts to succeed,
Making myself small in every way possible,
And feeling that im not enough for almost all of my life!
I was diagnosed with IBS at the age of 11,
I felt different, I wanted to hide so badly my ‘flaws’
I was embraced in my condition
that being ‘normal’ like everyone else became my goal,
And trying to be perfect in any way was my day-to-day mindset
Not only that it made me feel sicker physically,
Emotionally I was sending signals to my subconscious mind
That’s I’m not enough,
That something is wrong with me,
That I need to fix something in myself to be loved
No wonder that achieving my goals felt like an ongoing battle,
I lost touch with myself and was far from loving who I was.
I got a wake-up call when my IBS turned into inflammation and I got hospitalized, realizing that something needed to be changed.
I want into a 9-year journey,
Learning about holistic living:
The connection between our mind, our self-beliefs to every aspect of our life,
This was a life-changing knowledge that transformed my life.
I learned that true self-esteem never comes from the outside but within,
I stopped looking for outer validation,
And started to dive deep inside,
Into my mind, my self-beliefs.
I used transcendental meditation, tapping, and journaling to help me uncover the stories I had about myself and re-program them into new ones where self-love, and accepting myself as I am were the themes.
Now I know that true confidence and self-esteem come from being 100% who you are,
From knowing that not being perfect is awesome,
From having fun in this journey called life and not being afraid of “making mistakes”
By keeping the promises you make for yourself,
Have compassion on those challenging days,
Mastering the art of “not buying everything your mind is telling you”
By knowing how powerful you are,
Celebrating your weirdness and ‘flaws’
those will get you to where you want to be.
As long as you have the right mindset,
Self-loving beliefs, you can achieve everything.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I never thought I was going to be a self-love coach My childhood dream was to work in the fashion industry and do something related to design.
Life has a funny way to direct you to where you are meant to be,
Although my second degree was in NAROPA, Buddhist inspired contemplative university,
and I took many classes on mindfulness, meditation, yoga, holistic living, and Buddhism, I never thought of making it my main career as my focus was on visual arts and textile design.
It’s my years of dealing with IBS, low self-esteem, and even a touch of self-hate
that led me to a 9-year journey, learning how to heal myself, how to accept who I am,
Loving every single part of me, and achieving what I want from the simplest thing of ‘just’ being me.
I worked as a textile designer and Interior decorator as I thought I would when I felt that I could help people in a better way. I could see myself in other people, in their insecurities, in their self-judgment, in being so hard on themselves. I felt that there was so much knowledge to share, a knowledge that changed my life in the best way that can change someone else’s.
So I decided to make a bold move and change the path of my career.
This is how BUT FIRST, SELF LOVE CONSULTING was born.
I want to teach people from my personal experience and education that
there’s a better way to live life,
you can feel satisfaction and fulfillment for your actual being.
you could feel so comfortable in your skin,
Loving your imperfections and ‘flaws’,
You can find healing in self-love,
And achieve your goals by just being the ‘real’ you.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
If you want to make a change this is what I recommend:
1. Learning about the connection between the mind and outer reality.
I never knew I was responsible for the outcomes of my life,
Until my Buddhist teacher at Naropa taught me this:
“A glass of water is only a glass of water,
It’s your perspective of it,
That will determine how you are going to exprience it”
This means that everything in life is natural but it is our self-beliefs that determine our experiences in the world.
If I want to experience something else then I need to change my self-beliefs.
2. Becoming aware of your limited self belive.
Sometimes (most of the time) we are not really aware of what our subconscious mind thinks.
This is why there is a gap between what you want and the actual results you see in life.
You can work so hard toward your goal but if you have subconscious limited belief that goes against your desire, you won’t get it.
In our waking hours, the subconscious is responsible 95% of the time, while the conscious mind is only 5%.
If you want to make a change, BECOMING AWARE is the most important thing,
I talk about it in my guide book PAGES OF AWARENESS where I teach how to use journaling to gain this awareness and reprogram your self-beliefs.
3. Compassion – being kind to yourself when things are challenging when you don’t see the outcomes you want yet, when you want to judge yourself so badly, make it a habit to become your own best friend, and cheer yourself up.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
It’s a TV show on Netflix ‘Breaking Point”
Where one player said this one sentence that really got my attention –
“You can only go as far as your mind will let you”
If your mindset doesn’t aline with your dreams and desires
Your mind will get the best of you.
You can so work hard,
But if your subconscious belief is that ‘you can’t’ and ‘you are unworthy’
Then your mind will sabotage your best efforts.
To make a change you need to face the uncomfortableness and dive deep into your subconscious mind to reveal your limited beliefs and reprogram them into new ones,
Where you celebrate who you are,
Believing that you can,
And so worthy.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://stan.store/Butfirstselfloveconsulting
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/butfirstselfloveconsulting/
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@elian.monjack
Image Credits
My husband 🙂
