We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ellie Bambury. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ellie below.
Ellie, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
Finding my purpose has been a beautiful journey, and I know that my purpose will continue to evolve and expand as I grow. However, at the heart of things, what I’ve come to realise and know is that all of us are here to give ourselves what we most needed that we didn’t (or haven’t) receive(d), and then, find a way to give that away to others, in a way that feels easeful and natural. We first must truly see and accept ourselves and acknowledge our gifting, before discerning how we can bring it into reality authentically and uniquely.
For me, I’ve been a hugger all my life and have always been someone that people feel drawn to share stuff with (even complete strangers!) and get help from … it’s only in recent years that I’ve seen that this, mixed in with some other stuff I’ll share next, is a large part of my purpose. I am like the warm blanket of comfort that holistically supports people when their heart is hurting, and I love being that blanket, because it’s where real, raw connection is built and nurtured.
I’m devoted to walking with others in their healing journey. As they move through their grief and transitions, I guide them towards creating a deep, unwavering connection with their soul, and help them usher in new beginnings from the fragments of what’s been (or feels) lost, so that they can move into ‘what’s next’ with absolute inner trust and knowing that everything is always working out for them.
I’m here to support people as they learn to feel safe in communicating their genuine feelings, witnessing their fear so that it can be gently released, and creating truly sincere connections that will support them in their growth.
Why? In a nutshell, because it’s something I have had a huge personal journey with, myself, and I’ve seen just how much people need safe people in their lives.
Like all of us, I’ve had many an experience of grief in my life, and witnessed tragedy unfold. I’ve felt like the world was ending. I’ve been taken to some emotionally dark places that have forced me to look in the mirror and recognise the patterns and beliefs that have kept me stuck, desperate, or holding onto things and people with whom the chapter was actually complete, because I didn’t feel ready for change.
I’ve also repeated and suffered through the same experiences with different people because I didn’t know how nor feel safe to express my truth, heal from the past or tune into my own knowing of what was needed in the moment. (It’s sometimes scary when we know we are about to step into the next versions of ourselves, but we don’t know if we will be loved/accepted by some of our people if we choose to actually step into it.)
Again, like most of the world, I also know what it’s like to be the emotional go-to person for everyone else, because it was easier dealing with their grief and heartache than my own.
The thing is, though, throughout my own journey and in working with others, I’ve come to know that there is more to our understanding of grief and its role in our becoming than we are often led to believe. Only when we become curious about why and how our grief is showing up, can we tap into the magic of its actual purpose. I hold peoples’ hand as they venture into their own curiosity, and help them remain open-hearted as they allow whatever needs to surface, to do so, because I have been on the receiving end of people doing that for me, and it has powerfully transformed and transmuted grief I carried around with me from childhood…
As a girl, I was a high achiever and a go-getter. Known as confident and clever, I accomplished so much in the eyes of others, and grew up in a supportive and loving environment (in the standard sense). I loved the performing arts, and I wrote, directed and starred in my first play at age 11. I’ve always been a deep person when it comes to relationships.
Fairness was/is super important to me, too. However, due to my confidence at school, whenever conflict arose between myself and friends, I was usually isolated to give my side of the story, and other children would be questioned as a group – they could rely on each other and express their truth, with support. I was often blamed and not given equal space to share my feelings. As a result, I got very good at hiding my emotions (until they’d come out in floods!), right up into my adult life. This was its own, very prominent, form of grief.
However, there’s another huge part of myself that I became aware of as a child – I was and am able to communicate with spirit. I didn’t make this known to my friends and family until my early teen years because a) I didn’t have the vocabulary to express what was going on, b) I just assumed it was normal for everyone, and c) I grew up in an atheist family, and was told that there was no such thing as ghosts/God, etc, quite early on in life – thus any experience I did have with spirituality had already been invalidated. I learned that ‘man invented god to control the masses’, and this is what I believed right up until my teenage years, when everything began to unravel …
In 2007, I emigrated to New Zealand from England at age 12, with my parents and siblings. Leaving everything behind and heading for the unknown was a big transition. However, it turns out that being the new kid with a funny accent, in a new country and having no cultural awareness of the land I was now living upon, was the very transition that catapulted me into an undeniable spiritual awakening. For the first time, I had no choice but to lean on and listen to myself more intimately, and I realised I could be whoever I wanted, because nobody knew me! This awareness seemed to unlock my spiritual connection and I began channelling spirit and connecting with peoples’ loved ones who’d passed away – something I hadn’t done before and didn’t know I could do.
Around the same time, a TV program happened to start showing, which featured psychic mediums connecting with ‘the other side’. I was completely intrigued and began to watch it. On a profoundly deep level, something within me felt seen and validated. For two years, I was an open channel, and felt right at home doing it. This was the first time that experiencing grief had consciously opened space and initiated me into a potent connection with my soul, and it guided me into some transformative, healing connections with other people. It also enabled me to truly understand that we are all souls with one common connecting thread – we want to be safely witnessed in our life experiences, without being forced to conform, change, dim down, and so on.
As I grew up and new influences came into my life, I began to shut my spiritual connection down. Ultimately, I had no one around me who understood nor could nurture my experiences – there was no safe way for me to express my whole self, yet again. For almost a decade, I ‘buried’ that connection, even though there was always a little inner nudge to revive it. Until recent years, I didn’t realise how much grief I was carrying in my heart around having to deny my ‘self’, and now I can see that part of my ability to be able to go so deep with people of all ages from childhood, was because I was able to connect with them on a soul level.
As an older teen and early 20-something, life looked like it does for a lot of people, and I went through my own trials and tribulations that challenged, broke and nourished me in different ways. I can see now, though, looking back, that I was never truly content with the status quo of the world, nor a bunch of things in my life. I felt very distressed when people would wrong me or not look at themselves when they were behaving in unhealthy ways. I had some heartbreaks that made me question the nature of genuine friendship and started to feel like I was easily taken advantage of because I was overly accommodating with everyone (aka a people pleaser!) and always wore my heart on my sleeve.
Little did I know that all of the things I felt towards others for the way they’d treated me – anger, resentment, confusion, etc – were actually feelings I had towards myself and the people involved in the initial experiences that had triggered those feelings – which I thought I’d left in the past. It wasn’t till later that I began to see how cyclical life really was, and that through allowing myself to fully process the stored emotions that arose in those moments, would patterns be able to be broken and new ways of living could emerge. They were teaching me what self-love and loving others without attachment, truly was.
Fast forward to 2020, I was invited to do a 21-day meditation challenge, having only ever meditated once in a live audience at a psychic show. I said yes. To nutshell everything after that, the challenge blew my world open. I quit my full-time, well-paid job to launch my first coaching business (The Big Sister Project), and found immense joy in guiding young people and their families on their own journeys. I facilitated a transformational retreat, hosted workshops & programs, ran groups, and did 1:1 coaching … it was powerful beyond words to guide others inwards to move through their own blocks and live more aligned, expansive lives. At the same time, I dove head-first into my own healing journey/personal development, and met powerful people along the way whom I’d always longed to meet – people who truly saw me and could nurture my spirituality. I would not be who or where I am without that grounded, visionary, steady, loving support.
After 3 years of The Big Sister Project adventures, a whole load of new growth on my part, and reigniting the flame with my soulful self, I felt a natural transition into this new work. Work where I have the joy of integrating and maximising all of my gifts, and walk alongside anyone who is ready to feel the feels and remember how powerful they are, too.
Part of my purpose is consciously creating this safe space and helping people tap into it, make it their normal, and feel the freedom of allowing their soul to express all it needs to, as they navigate life’s challenges.
When our soul leads the way, experiences come and go with more ease, trust and flow. Pain is still their, but it doesn’t lead to suffering.
Also, using the voice we have been gifted with to speak our truth compassionately & with confidence, is at the foundation of building supportive and powerful relationships that will help us express ourselves and move through life transitions without judgment or fear. We all need those, and I am here to show others how to create them because I know how much more magical life gets when they are all around us!
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Grief touches us all in different ways, at different times. It could look like: losing a friendship, experiencing a breakup, death, family changes, moving away, changing/losing old parts of yourself, personality changes, or whatever you feel has brought up feelings of loss/disorientation.
Sometimes, we might not even know we are grieving (many of us only ever link grief with death of a loved one, not the shifting of who we become each time something shifts around us!), but I believe grief gives us our own unique rite-of-passage and calls us towards becoming the highest version of ourselves. A huge part of my work is creating safety for you to access what that looks like, for you, so that whatever you are feeling doesn’t become a life sentence.
I’m here to help you move through your experiences in a way that feels deeply empowering, freeing, and magical beyond what you ever thought possible. No more being told ‘you shouldn’t feel that way’ or ‘you need to XYZ…’
My work comes in the forms of 1:1 mentoring, and in monthly events called Glitter in Grief.
For those who would like deep, personalised support, I first offer 1-off professional readings where you can:
> Openly share what you’re experiencing, without being met with judgment or advice-giving
> Be guided through deep relaxation and reconnect with your highest self’s wisdom
> Receive channelled specific, accurate, powerful, and actionable messages from spirit (this is part of my gifting) that will instantly deepen your healing journey
… and more!
These sessions are a no-strings-attached, light way to connect with me, dip your toes in the water, and receive takeaways that will give you a clear starting point for your journey forward.
If you’d like to take things further and embark on a 3 or 6 month mentoring journey, these are called Soul Play Sessions!
Glitter in Grief, as mentioned before, is my monthly community event, where people can:
> Discover my enlightening new paradigm for accessing and expressing genuine feelings.
> Explore how developing compassionate boundaries and communication skills helps them to co-create true safety, depth and sincerity in all of their relationships (which is crucial as you move through grief and change!)
> Rekindle their relationship with storytelling: they will have the opportunity to share their story and listen to others share theirs – if they’re not ready to share, then bearing witness to those who are can become a tonic for them.
> Learn how to ‘come home to themselves’
> Play with the future – we explore what their soul is calling them towards, as they move through grief!
And more!
I am here to shift the narrative on how we communicate our genuine feelings and open up an AGE-INCLUSIVE opportunity to connect with people from all stages in life. From early teens as young as 12, to those over 20, 30 and 40 as well as the Mature 70, 80, 90 and over. At the moment, my events are in-person in my hometown (Auckland, New Zealand), however, my goal is to reach people far and wide, however that looks, so if you are reading this and would like to know more, please reach out!
On top of these offerings, I also host annual Next Level Dreamers Dress Up Parties, where the community gathers together for a celebration of life, who they’re becoming, what they’ve learned, and what they’re choosing to step into, as well as doing keynote presentations in schools and organisations, catered to whatever they’re moving through! (This can also be done online!).
I’m all about building amazing relationships and celebrating people as they walk through some of the hardest days of their lives. I am in awe of the people in my world who have lost loved ones and have found the courage to keep going even though their hearts are breaking. The world needs more love, celebration, support and encouragement, and I’m here for it, in the darkest and most disorienting spaces, right through to the glorious and light ones!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Holding space/Witnessing: This is being able to be fully present with the person opposite you as they share something, without judgment, criticism, advice-giving, or expectation. It’s being able to listen closely, offer eye contact and possible physical contact if that is consensual, comforting, and safe, without needing to be validated or thanked for your offerings. Advice in this area would be to develop your own self-awareness and understand what your capacity is for being there for others, before saying yes to their every need. If all you ever want to do is talk, share your opinions, or maybe you eventually feel like changing the subject when it gets too much, understanding your own limits and what you can offer is really important.
Letting go: It took me a long time (because it can be hard walking away) to stop chasing people whose energy I no longer matched (or vice versa). Holding onto ‘what was’ in some friendships has sometimes kept me stifled and sad, instead of catapulting me into the possibilities of entering into new, more aligned friendships that reflected who I was becoming/wanted to be. Advice would be, every now and then, do a life analysis. Check in with yourself and ask the question ‘is this person/thing supporting where I am going, or do I usually feel drained after being around them?’. From there, you can decide what might need to be worked on/changed, or let go of.
Open-mindedness: Speaks for itself! No two people will ever be exactly the same. We all have something to teach to and to learn from others. The world becomes far more expansive and exciting when we remember this!
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
It truly lights me up when I meet people who are on the edge of their own seat, every part of their being fizzing with a curiosity and desire to know themselves better and live lighter. No matter their age or stage, gender or background, my people:
> Are over living on auto pilot and copy-pasting their responses to each experience, and they are ready to embrace all that’s on offer to them in each moment (even if it feels unknown, messy and scary!).
> Have ‘tried everything’ to ‘get over/through’ something, but still don’t feel seen/heard/supported/clear on where they are going or what they need.
> Are curious/ready to live their most purposeful, ignited and joyful life, full of powerful relationships and deep self-connection (particularly if they’re navigating grief/transitions).
> Are looking for a starting point to begin their healing journey, or be in a safe space where they can voice all that’s coming up, and be guided back into connection with their heart.
They want to:
> Recognise, honour, and harness the magic in the incremental shifts of their life, collapsing the idea that problems need to be ‘big’ in order for them to receive genuine, consistent support.
> Know and experience what being witnessed, held, and supported feels and looks like so that they can begin cultivating relationships that nourish and inspire who they are becoming, and honour who they once were.
> Be celebrated for not confining their growth to societally-imposed age-specific life stages, and instead tune into the wisdom of where they are right now.
> Let go of what no longer serves them, and also feel confident holding themselves through surrendering.
> Be guided on a continuously expanding, upward emotional spiral – particularly when they’re experiencing grief!
> Shift their responsiveness towards their internal calling (instead of jumping when the world says jump).
They are ready to make PEACE their normal.
Even in the unknown, especially in the unknown, they are ultimately excited by (which might be masked as fear, too!) the fact that they are powerful creators first and foremost.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.elliebambury.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elliebambury_soulfirstliving/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elliebamburysoulfirstliving
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliebambury94/
- Other: https://linktr.ee/elliebambury_soulfirstliving
Image Credits
Main profile photo: Elaine Zafra Yu
