We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Elm Jed. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Elm below.
Elm, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
In a single word: Spite.
I have struggled with a multitude of mental health challenges since I was eight, more and more adding on as life happened and circumstances I couldn’t really change. I have PTSD, severe anxiety, depression, and ADHD. When I tell people what I’ve lived through, most of the responses are shock and think I’m making some of it up.
I grew up in a traumatizing household of different abuse, and then I entered the Marine Corps when I was 17 to get away from it and start a new life, unfortunately, that somewhat backfired in some ways. I was sexually assaulted about 20 days after my 18th birthday, hospitalized for a suicide attempt, and then was deployed at 18. The depression worsened along with other symptoms that come with PTSD and trauma. But still, I carried on out of spite. It was out of spite to not give up or that I HAD to finish my four year enlistment as a Marine, and then it was out of spite to go to college.
It was there I found, who would be, my husband and best friends. They helped me realize that it wasn’t just spite that I wanted to live, but for things I never thought were possible.
Over the past ten years, I’ve learned how to better manage my mental health issues and the symptoms that come with them. To this day they still affect me when it comes to my work, my marriage, friendships, and even my physical well-being at times.
I cannot say I have “overcome” these challenges because I still am. Just day by day and with better tools than what I had 8, 10, 15 years ago. I’m in a safer environment near people who understand these struggles. Others who’ve had to manage through similar challenges.
Spite has been the main reason of persisting through the worst of it, but I can say now that it had developed into a purpose to share my experiences. To talk about what I’ve gone through, still do, and help others not feel so alone as I had for almost 20 years.
My tools to help me manage and overcome my mental health issues have developed overtime, and I hope to show others that they can do it, too.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I’m mainly a romance author, who focuses on better representing diversity in books concerning mental health and trauma. Although my books are romances, there is also a focus on healing, overcoming, and finding love even with these challenges.
I was homeschooled from 6th grade and up and graduated early to join the Marine Corps at 17. I was the youngest in my battalion for the longest time it felt like, and then was deployed to Afghanistan when I was 18. I left the Marine Corps honorably and then attended college to get my degree in Theater and minor in Religion. An odd pivot from being in the military, but I’d grown up around the theater world and wanted to continue creating. The reason I added Religion was due to a professor who intrigued me about how he approached religion, and I found that it helped me decipher my PTSD and trauma from the Marine Corps. It was the first tools I’d say I learned to use to help better myself mentally, even during some very dark days and weeks.
After college, I became a Ballroom Dance Instructor for about a year, until COVID hit and I was laid off. During the quarantine, I began writing again more extensively. I’d been writing since I was 10, but it was always a hobby. Finally, I tried my hand at publishing and independently published my first book in 2021, “Vinny the Vampire & Me”. I am now four books into that series which are published. The newest book in that series, “Memories of the Underground” is a prequel to the first, an anthology of short stories that focuses on healthy family dynamics and growing up in a household with learning disabilities. I’ve also just released the first book of my second series, “My Dear Watson”, which has a main character who manages severe anxiety and PTSD every day.
(All books are available on Amazon)
I found not only joy in what I do in writing, but also as a purpose to show that you can have your “happily ever after” even with such things as having depression, PTSD, trauma, etc, and that it doesn’t just “disappear” at the end of the book. I wanted to write complex love stories, even if they are in a paranormal mafia world, but that those hard-hitting subjects can be discussed and shown.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Never lose your empathy for others. Always be willing to learn, especially when you may have been wrong.
Forgive yourself.
Continue to seek knowledge and understanding from others. No matter how different they may seem, we as human beings are far closer to each other than we may think. And the moment we dehumanize others, we begin to dehumanize ourselves.
Forgive yourself for what you’ve done, even if it takes a while, but once you do….you’ll have the ability to open yourself to new places and people who will give you joy, love, and compassion.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
I doubt I could ever pick one, but a few stand out. First, would be my husband. We’ve been together going on 9 years, and he’s shown me how to compassion, forgiveness, strength, tenacity, love,….the list could go on. Without him, I would not be on this earth nor would I be able to share what I do if it wasn’t for him.
Second, would be my younger sister, who’s taught me work ethic, courage, and commitment. She entered the Marine Corps soon after I did, and then became an independent artist after she was medically separated. She inspires me to persist through the hardest days while being one of my biggest supporters to continue writing. (You can find her stuff on Instagram @s.wolf.art)
Lastly, would be my found family from the Renaissance Festival. They have helped me develop better compassion toward myself, gave me a reason to overcome some of my mental health challenges, given me knowledge in areas I never thought, and provided a place to be me. They gave me a home when I felt lost, and are one of the reasons why some of my books turned out the way they did.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://linktr.ee/weirdwitchyaunt
- Instagram: @elmojedi10
- Other: Tiktok handle @elmojedi10 and the same with Threads Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/weirdwitchyaunt
