We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Frances Lu-Pai Ippolito a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Frances Lu-Pai, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.
Most of my experiences with “finding purpose” have been chaotic and competitive, a constant juggle between versions of me that all have “purpose’ but different ones. In my day-to-day, I juggle the roles of mom, wife, daughter, sister, judge, publisher, bookbinder, storyteller, storykeeper, writer, teacher, mentor, and community-builder. I bet it sounds like the rows of a career bingo game. It was a lot like that, the luck of the draw on which roles I’d play that day, each role packed with its own purpose. Each purpose wanting undivided attention.
Be a great mom. Succeed at work. Give back to your community. Write more stories.
I had a lot of purpose, too much purpose, but no clarity.
I didn’t gain that clarity until I was attacked in my home.
By “home,” I do not mean standing walls and a roof that keeps my bedrooms dry. I mean Portland. I mean Oregon. I mean a community where you raise your children, live, laugh, cry with your friends, and believe in the goodness of your neighbors.
I saw my attacker first as a mother, like me. Fine worry lines textured her face, giving her a tired worn look. The kind of look that I recognized on my own face after late nights caring for sick children. She had a mother’s curves too—hips that once upon a time shifted wide to make a cradle out of bone. And, there was, of course, the thin blonde child, who huddled close to the woman’s side like my daughter did with me when she was cold.
I remember also it was a spring day during the pandemic. My Chinese American mother and I walked out of a store and this fellow mother followed us out and said things to our back. There were curse words, many of them, but I ignored her, unwilling to upset my mother who was already nervous after the Atlanta shooting at Asian massage businesses.
When we didn’t turn around or respond, the woman came from behind, shoved her shoulder into my side, and tried to knock me down. I stumbled, but did not fall. As she stormed away, she looked back, her dark eyes flashing in a rage that spilled out. She said as she left, “Get out. You don’t belong here. You’re dirty.”
All this happened with her small child watching. As the little girl was dragged off, she asked out loud to everyone, “What is going on?”
This was my moment of clarity. We are so busy individually, chasing after accomplishments or striving to achieve our many purposes that we do not take the time to pause and reflect on what this work is for.
My answer to this child, our collective answer I hope, is that we are trying to do better. That is the clarity I bring now to all the roles and work that I do. It is not so much a purpose as a guiding principle for all the purposes I carry in my every day. Whether it is teaching my children, serving a judge, publishing diverse, marginalized stories from my new nonprofit Qilin press, designing games that will bring together community through play through Demagogue Press, etc., I want to be able to answer that child’s question.
What is going on?
Everything we do, we can do with a mind toward healing and strengthening ourselves and our communities.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
There are quite a few things I’ve been working on. In 2023, I started two independent small presses. Demagogue Press is focused on tabletop games and books. Last year, we released Winding Paths – A playable reading experience. The concept there is to link short stories to each other with a game mechanic so that a reader does not read straight through the stories (which is also an option). There are puzzles and prizes inside the book, along with games pieces that can be cut out for the boardgame that is on the book cover. The stories are wonderful, but if you want a break from reading, put the book down and play the boardgame on the cover.
We’ll also be releasing our first issue of a game magazine in 2024. The magazine will contain games printed inside so that you can cut the pieces out and play directly on the magazine.
The idea for both Winding Paths and the game magazine was to make games more accessible at a lower price point. Tabletop games can be expensive and take up quite a bit of storage space. In a book/magazine format, it’s a bit easier to store and buy, or even find in a public library. All cultures play games and, for me, playing games together is a great way to build community.
In 2023, I also started a non-profit independent press. Qilin Press seeks to publish diverse, marginalized voices. The first book coming out is “A Tree of My Own.” This will be a children’s picture featuring the Karen refugee experience. Portland Oregon, where I’m based, has a thriving Karen community, many members of whom settled in Portland after leaving refugee camps in Thailand. Because the global Karen community is scattered and displaced by war in the Myanmar region, it has been hard to preserve stories, language, and culture. “A Tree of My Own” is one book that seeks to address this narrative scarcity. All the profits will go back into scholarships and educational projects for the Karen community, including those who still reside in refugee camps. “A Tree of My Own” releases in Fall 2024. Nui Wilson (author), Gigi Little (Art Director), Kayor (illustrator), and I can’t wait for you to meet Posada!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Find a mentor. Regardless of what field or practice area, I have always sought the suggestions and guidance of mentors. Having someone who is willing to share their war stories (so to speak) and support your development is key to successes as well as getting past failures. Look around you and reach out. You may be surprised by how willing people are to share and teach you.
Be a mentor. When it’s your turn, give back.
Know your limits. It is not a weakness to delegate. It is not a weakness to ask for more time. It is not a weakness to say no. Managing and understanding your limits is an invaluable skill that once developed keeps you from burning out.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters by Emily Esfahani Smith has been a great read for me. Here’s a link to a TED talk: https://www.ted.com/speakers/
Contact Info:
- Website: www.demagoguepress.com/about
- Instagram: @francespaippolito
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/frances.pai
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frances-ippolito-58670225/f
- Other: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/winding-paths-frances-lu-pai-ippolito/1144304000
Image Credits
Images are my own.
