We recently connected with Hanna Lee and have shared our conversation below.
Hanna, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
Being diagnosed as Bipolar 2 has it’s ups and downs, literally, but I’ve found ways to use it to my advantage. During times when I’m in a more heightened state I can ride a creative wave for as long as it’ll take me. I can get huge bursts of energy where I become focused on a project until it’s complete. If I’m triggered into action I can be dangerously fierce in my dedication to a cause. The only problem is the opposite end of the spectrum. Since I’m Bipolar 2, depression is the level I primarily function at. This looks like little to no energy to clean my home, bathe, change clothes, do anything but sit on my ass feeling exhausted. While I’m in depression mode I’m indifferent about things going on around me and neglect my relationships, causing me to miss out on my own life. I have a lot of guilt since this behavior is confusing to people I care about when most met me during a time when I was in an ‘up’ state, sociable and full of energy, only to find me drop off the face of the earth soon after. The truth being, as much as I enjoy being social, I struggle with it. My crippling social anxiety has only worsened since the rise in anti-Asian hate during the pandemic along with the continued threat of gun violence and mass genocide occuring in front of our eyes. But I still wake up every day grateful for many things and hopeful that tomorrow will be a day I can create something that will resonate with others.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’m a writer who’s authored two fiction novels along with writing several published articles. More recently I’ve published a book of poetry that consists of scribblings from journals dating all the way back to 2000 to current day. My first book, The Ones Who Misbehave, is a story loosely based on my life as a Korean adoptee being raised by a white family in Kansas and internalizing the trauma of the racism I experienced growing up. It follows an adoptee named Van as she navigates the halls of a mental health recovery center and discovers the roots of where her explosive anger comes from, and how finding the right community can heal. My second novel titled, The Invisible Lines, was my way of infusing my love of true crime in a story that helped me process the complexities family and the ways they can let us down. This story is about Lilith’s catastrophe of a family vacation, when a member of their party goes missing leading everything to begin unraveling and leaving everyone exposed. My newest book is called, The Names of my Ghosts: Twenty years worth of bullshit from my head in the form of poetry, which I wrote during a time of deep grief and struggle. During this time I went back and began looking through journals I’d kept from the time I first met the person I lost, which became a three part book poetry and select writings. I debated whether or not to share it at first but have been glad I did since it seems to have resonated with people. I write to process everything I’m feeling that I don’t know how to say out loud, and I’ve just been fortunate my work has been something so many others have been able to relate to. It definitely makes me feel humbled to feel so much less alone.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
It’s hard to answer this one, mostly because I’ve always written, I just never thought I would let anyone see it. I don’t think of myself as someone with any particularly special gifts except a lot of opinions and things in my head I need to get out. The decision to publish my first book was due to encouragement from others around me believing it was an important story. I’ve simply been fortunate to have a mind that never seems to stop spinning and a fountain of trauma to write about. I think the only thing I can offer here is advice to anyone who has a story to tell and or has pages of journals filled, even if you don’t know where to start, even though you don’t know what to say, even when none of it makes sense, even if there’s a chance no one will read it, do it anyway. Write the book, fill the pages, self publish, try to get published. I promise it’ll be worth it the moment someone tells you how much your words meant to them, and they will.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
I think all writers/artists/creatives struggle with moments of feeling overwhelmed. Whether it be from emotional overload, making money from your craft, or being recognized for your work the field is stressful. My advice is, don’t give up. As a writer the biggest enemy is writers block. Getting stuck is the absolute worst but you have to push it and discipline yourself into setting goals. Just like anything it’s about not giving up and if you tell yourself to write 200 words get them down, you can always delete them later if it’s no good but at least you can be proud of yourself for accomplishing the goal.
Contact Info:
- Website: thehannaleewrites.com
- Instagram: @thehannalee
Image Credits
myself
