Meet Jake Stahl

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jake Stahl. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jake below.

Hi Jake, so happy to have you with us today and there is so much we want to ask you about. So many of us go through similar pain points throughout our journeys and so hearing about how others developed certain skills or qualities that we are struggling with can be helpful. Along those lines, we’d love to hear from you about how you developed your ability to take risk?
I was never a risk taker as a child. Looking back I wasn’t really allowed to be. I grew up with a very successful father and a doting mother, both of which wanted to be protective. We lived in a small town no one would recognize, I went to a high school that had no pictures of people “who made it big” hanging in the halls, and there weren’t any spots to “hang out”. I would characterize my childhood as sheltered. When I went to college was the first time I had free reign to make all of my own decisions and make them I did. Like most, I made some decent decisions and more than my share of bad ones. The years following college, however, were the formative years for my risk taking. I found myself shifting into a mindset “I made this decision and sure, I didn’t win, but at least I didn’t lose.” I remember the first business I ever started, it was a martial arts studio that I expanded to two studios. They did very well until I stopped actively marketing them. I was trying not to raise my rates so I cut back on advertising. My students dwindled and I wound up selling them both. My attitude was “I may not have been successful, but at least it wasn’t my primary income.” This led to many similar decisions in various areas of my life. I had a “I’m not playing to win, I’m playing not to lose” mentality. As I was able to reconcile any downturn in my life as inevitable, and probably going to happen anyway, risks became almost acceptable. So I started taking more. What I found was that if you make taking risks a normal thing, they aren’t risks anymore…they’re just your normal behavior. The turning point for me was when I got hooked on pain medications. I had three knee surgeries and on the last one I couldn’t get off the pain medications. I made bad decisions and life went from bad to worse. I had to either raise up or just give in. During that decision making process, and my recovery, I gave up my house, got divorced, and exhausted my life saving. In the midst of all that I had some unbelievable moments of clarity. I realized I was playing the game of life all wrong. I had taken the huge risk of completely starting over and I had to face life differently in my 50’s, but now I had to play to win, not just not lose. One would think I wouldn’t take any more risks as many had taken me sideways. But the lessons I had learned were amazing and wonderful. Now clean for 10 years I can’t say my risk taking has changed in any way, I still take alot, but now my attitude has changed. I now play to win and understand that losses are lessons, not things to be justified. That new attitude has led me to remarry, buy a new home, and start a business that is as successful as I imagined it could be.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My focus is on helping people get better at communicating. I’m always amazed at how many different ways we can converse with one another and yet very few try to get better at it. My goal is to help people transform the way they communicate and I am doing that in 2 different ways.

First, I act as a Fractional Chief Learning Officer. What that means is that companies hire me to take over their company training and development. I create their onboarding processes that are so crucial to new hires feeling comfortable with their new company. The beauty of this is that Training and Development is fractional by nature. Training is the last to get budget and the first to suffer cuts and yet it’s function is crucial. If companies want their staff to get better they need training. CUSTOM training…specific to them and their customer demographics. Most companies don’t need a full department, they just need someone to go in, create a proprietary program for them, and then walk away, leaving them with everything they need to succeed. I make that happen.

The second way I help people transform is by using what I call the Adaptive Conversational Blueprint. It’s something I developed over the past 30 years after training in 6 countries, 47 states, over 10,000 people and by developing over 100 proprietary training courses. This blueprint, along with it’s foundational principle I call the 2/10 Rule, has helped companies 3x their sales and increase customer service ratings by as much as 1.5 stars. What makes the Blueprint and 2/10 Rule exciting is that they are based in advanced adult learning principles, social psychology, and the experience I have under my belt. I back it with solid instructional design (I won the International Gold Award for Instructional Design out of 1,000 entrants worldwide) and public speaking skills that have been requested by symposia and conventions across the country. The Blueprint and 2/10 Rule are unlike anything else in the marketplace and are backed by a strong history of success. I actually have a book coming out about the 2/10 rule in the second quarter of next year. I use these principles not only with the corporations I work with, but in my personal coaching clients as well.

A little more about me. I own a 252 year old historic home with my wife, am a Master Mason, and have 4 amazing kids and one grandchild. I enjoy traveling extensively with my wife, working on my historic home, spending time with our German Shepherd, Kyrie, and finally enjoying life.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
My first area is resiliency. When I look back at all that I’ve put myself through I count my blessings that I am where I am today. It would be easy to say that due to my strength and perserverance I succeeded, but that’s only part of the story. We tend to show our victories and hide our defeats. Many want to be seen as invincible. I’d prefer to be thought of another way…someone who has made a boatload of mistakes, but had the sense to learn from them. I believe in many ways that who I am today is defined by the mistakes I learned from. I hope that never changes.

My second is my passion for learning. It’s rare to find me without a podcast rolling, a book in my hand or a clinical study about pharmacology or psychology open on my iPad. I think it’s important that we chase our passions and mine is learning. I wasn’t always this way, I went through my “I know everything” phase. The thing about that phase is that there is no upside. Of course I didn’t see it then, but now I find myself excited to say that I don’t know something. The only downside? I tend to switch topics on a dime. If I’m halfway through an article or study and it has a reference, it takes a herculean effort to not stop and chase down the reference, which leads to another, and another. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. LOL.

My third quality or skill is listening. Not just to the spoken word, but to the non-verbal as well. I like to fully understand people with the knowledge that none of us communicate perfectly and none of us listen perfectly. The beauty about listening is it’s a topic you can never fully master. It allows me to tackle each day learning from the lessons of yesterday. And it’s something you can always practice! Whether it’s in your personal or professional life you come across countless times per day where you can practice. One thing you will never be criticized for is listening too much. I’ve told many people this over the years…I am in search of the perfect conversation.

For people just starting on their journey I would say there are some tried and true things you can count on. You’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to go through rough patches and you’re going to come across alot of questions to which you have no answers. You’re never going to avoid these things…so figure out how you can learn from them. Embrace them. You will constantly have a choice in front of you…continue or give up. The difference between you and Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk isn’t that they’re smarter or had better chances then you. It’s that when they failed they used it to come back stronger. They played to their passions and when things went wrong they adapted and overcame. So, how do you do this? Surround yourself with the right people. People who will help you stay the course. I once heard a speaker say that you are the sum total of the 5 people you talk to the most. I couldn’t agree more. When I stopped surrounding myself with people who were nay-sayers my life changed. This is important. Stop right now and write down the five people you talk to the most…if any of those 5 won’t help you pursue your dreams, you may want to rethink them. I hit the reset button on my life in my 50’s, changed my 5, and never looked back.

Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?
I often get asked this and my answer remains the same…go all in on your strengths. I obviously don’t know you. I don’t know your name or what you do or why you do it. But I know one thing for sure. I’d put money on it. You do one thing, or have a passion for one thing, that you do better than anyone else. Not sure what it is? Ask your best friend, or your mom, or your significant other….they’ll know. THAT is what you can become known for. It doesn’t matter what it is, you can monetize it, or build a business around it, and make it your brand. So, why do I feel this strongly? Because I was the one who tried to be what my friends called a “Jake of All Trades”. When I did that I lost focus. I was speaking at a conference one time and a person came up to me and said if you could put what you do on a bumper sticker what would it say. I was stunned. I had no idea. To this day it may be one of the top 5 most important things anyone has ever said to me.

Want more evidence? Success stories like Steve Jobs and Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate, were famous for their quotes on doing what you do best and surrounding yourself with people who can fill in the blanks. They understood their own limitations and how trying to know everything could hinder more than help their organization. If you can’t afford to hire then barter for the knowledge. I often network with people who do something I need much better than I can do it. But I can also do something much better than they can. Many times we will barter services so we can take advantages of each others expertise.

The last piece to this puzzle of going all in with your strengths comes down to passion. When we pursue what we love our thirst for knowledge and the need to get better is endless. It’s all consuming. Many who get burned out are those trying to be incredible at everything and don’t have the passion for some of those things. The pursuit of perfection on a topic you care little about can be a dead end road. Live your passion and let those who have the passion for the things you need help you get by.

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Jake Stahl

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