We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jasmin Danae a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Jasmin, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
From a very young age, I was spoken to like a person, and I can say that my family didn’t coddle or hide things from me. Even if the circumstances were deemed inappropriate, if I was exposed to them in any way, the adults in my life, especially my mother, would answer my questions in ways that were age-appropriate and leave room for me to ask questions and have a voice.
Empathy comes from the ability to step outside yourself and figuratively wear someone else’s shoes. We are all looking for connections, and there are so many opportunities available when we are vulnerable to that degree. It is the true meaning of community and what each of us truly hopes to achieve when cooperating with one another.
In my unconventional family, which consisted of my mother, my grandmother, my aunt, and cousins I knew as siblings, I grew up in Staten Island, New York. I got to see my sister and other family members during the few years my mom and I lived with my father and paternal grandmother, but when that living arrangement changed and my mother and I moved on to another, that was the first time I can recall considering how someone other than myself felt. I was young, but no one had to tell me that they’d miss me and that it made them sad. I experienced the same emotions as they did, though I mentally created a picture of their intensity.
Empathy is an action that requires you to use your senses in different ways to respond to someone else. You have to tune into yourself as an individual, then interpret another person’s experience, and then respond in some way. The degree of difficulty or the type of engagement required may vary. My first chance to exercise this muscle and both experience and provide empathy came from being around people I love and care about.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
In 2019, I launched The Total Mothering Chronicles LLC as a Health & Wellness consulting firm primarily focused on assisting mothers and families in need. I provide full spectrum of doula services, including but not limited to birth support, family planning, postpartum support, and more.
I appreciate how well my business meshes with my personal life and interests. My own experiences having children and parenting inspired me to work in reproductive health. As a supporter of school choice, I look for ways to incorporate my enthusiasm for educational decision making into my offerings.I create products to support my sliding scale and payment plans, as well as to allow my community to contribute to the work by purchasing useful items that everyone uses and enjoys.
I’ve been planning on expanding into vendor spaces and organizing small events for women and families. I’m incredibly enthusiastic to figure out how to make my offerings come to life and show individuals who have been supporting TTMC love in new and unique ways!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Passion, creativity, and teachability are three qualities that I believe have had the greatest impact on my journey with The Total Mothering Chronicles LLC. I find meaning in my profession, so much so that it doesn’t always feel like work, but rather like my life’s mission. Even when I experience imposter syndrome or lose concentration, I am able to return to what is most important because the energy I have for labor allows me to welcome the hardships that may come before the beautiful results I know will follow.
Creativity encourages me to be brave in situations when I would otherwise be cautious. I utilize art, DIY projects, and daydreaming to help me navigate the planning and implementation process. Working with families and advocating for causes requires thinking outside the box. Using those muscles helps me and keeps me in good mental shape.
I also believe that allowing for correction has been a powerful tool. Being teachable has kept me open to opportunities that I would have missed otherwise. Being humble in specific situations will allow you to be mentored, nourished, and cared for as someone just starting out on their own path. Maintaining your eagerness and curiosity will help you learn a lot!
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
When I find myself overwhelmed I try to remember how I am able to apply understanding for others, then offer it to myself.
I’ve been fully consumed by my emotions or paralysed by the thought of how many tasks I can’t manage to finish. I have four children and a big list of responsibilities that all seem to fall on me at times. First, I allow myself permission to feel my emotions! I am the type of person that cannot ignore my feelings and refuses to suppress them. Instead of judging myself by telling myself what I could or should be doing, I allow myself to be vulnerable for a time. Once I’ve figured out how I’m feeling, I devise a strategy for dealing with whatever is overwhelming me.
My piece of advice is to recognize yourself. Determine what is causing the problem and then come up with appropriate answers without being too hard on yourself. Procrastinate if necessary. Delegate some of your work. Pray, scream, meditate, breathe – whatever you need to do to get through the overwhelming moments, and then establish a plan.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.TheTotalMotheringChronicles.com
- Instagram: @TheTotalMotheringChronicles
- Facebook: @TTMCLLC
- Linkedin: Jasmin Montella
