We recently connected with Jayy Doll and have shared our conversation below.
Jayy, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Beautiful starting question! I used to wake up every day hating life, dreading everything in it and wanting my day to be over before it even began. I had conditioned behaviors/patterns and old limiting beliefs I needed to break to really be able to accept the truth of my reality. But once I did, I realized all those years of having a negative outlook of who I was, was extremely detrimental to my subconscious, and thus made it also detrimental to my physical life. I had zero confidence and my self-esteem was non-existent. Bad things were constantly hitting me left and right. I lost all connections with friends and family and developed a 10 year drug addiction. I didn’t know what it was like to actually want to be alive each day. I told myself everyday, “I’m worthless, I don’t matter, I don’t care about myself, I hate myself..” you get the idea.
But that was the story I kept telling myself.
Then I learned about self concept.
Essentially, self concept is our PERSONAL knowledge of who we are. I like to call it the story we tell ourselves, about ourselves. If you have a strong self concept, the positive possibilities you gain in your life are absolutely LIMITLESS!
I realized I could actually rewrite my story I had been telling myself my entire life.
So I did.
I started saying, “I am more than enough, I do matter to others AND myself, I care so much about myself, I LOVE MYSELF.”
My confidence and self esteem did not happen overnight. And being part of a society that thrives on instant gratification, it was extremely important for me to stay self aware of this and stay disciplined with my new story.
And slowly but surely I started seeing huge changes. My story had become so ingrained in my mind that no one could convince me otherwise of what my story was. Other people’s opinions no longer affected me because I knew me. I knew I was confident and my self esteem was through the roof. I didn’t have to cower in the corner and become someone I wasn’t. I could be me and be confident in who I was because that’s what I told myself. People started flocking to me because of the positivity I radiated and that reminded me that I could teach others how to gain self esteem through changing their self concept. Working one on one with others to accomplish this has been so rewarding.
If I can go from not wanting to be here everyday to loving myself and my life everyday, it’s possible for anyone.
But first we have to start within.
Learn how having a positive self concept can impact your life in the greatest way possible by giving you the confidence and self esteem you deserve to give to yourself!
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I love helping people! It’s my favorite thing to do. I’m currently working one on one with a few select clients to help them change their self concept and become abundant in all areas of their lives! I plan on launching my own gratitude journal and shadow work book this year which I’m extremely jovial about but I don’t want to spoil anymore details than that. (Instagram: wordupsmalls) I also work in the graphic design field and create custom logos, digital designs, ads, flyers, cards/invites etc. I offer FREE resumes to those who can’t afford one or are jobless and currently looking. (Instagram: jayydolldesigns)
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I would have to say a skill that was most impactful in my journey was diving deep into self-love. My advice for this would be to choose yourself first. Stop doing everything for everyone else to the point where you forget about yourself. Your self love has to be stronger than your need to be loved. If you choose you (the biggest act of self-love) then nothing and no one can stop you from achieving your dreams!
A quality that was most impactful would be self-discipline. My advice for this would be to remember it’s literally impossible to stay motivated 100% of the time. We’re human. That’s okay. But discipline will separate you (the winner) from the losers. It’s a key differentiator between people who are successful in life and those who aren’t. That means doing the thing even when you don’t want to. Don’t play yourself!
An area of knowledge that was most impactful was learning about habits. My best advice for this comes from one of my favorite books which I highly recommend, Atomic Habits by James Clear: “We all deal with setbacks but in the long run the quality of our lives often depends on the quality of our habits. With the same habits, you’ll end up with the same results. But with better habits, anything is possible. Getting 1 percent better every day counts for a lot in the long-run. Making a choice that is 1 percent better or 1 percent worse seems insignificant in the moment, but over the span of moments that make up a lifetime these choices determine the difference between who you are and who you could be. Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.“
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
For me, being overwhelmed always leads to anxiety. I used to be someone who used to get so overwhelmed with anxiety, it felt like my entire heart was going to fall out of my chest. I’d get so overwhelmed to the point I’d hit my chest, scream, run, cry, listen to positive frequencies- everything. Nothing worked. During my spiritual awakening I was solely focusing on gratitude for a long time. But I wasn’t utilizing it in the right way. I had an attitude of gratitude but what about the times I was so overwhelmed and full of anxiety that nothing felt like it was going to be okay?
One day I was reading an article from this psychology website that stated “The brain can’t respond to anxiety and gratitude at the same time.” This was absolutely mind blowing to me. I felt like I had discovered a secret to life no one else knew about. Studies have shown that not only does gratitude lessen stress, but gratitude and anxiety cannot exist in the brain at the same time. Practicing gratitude reduces the level of cortisol, also known as the stress hormone.
The next time I acquired this overwhelming anxiety, I put the fact into practice. I started saying out loud what I was grateful for even though my anxiety was at its climax. I could thoroughly think so I started naming physical items in the room, then parts of my body I could see. I only focused on the things I was naming that I was grateful for. After naming so many things I noticed I genuinely wasn’t anxious anymore!!! I cried so many tears of joy. It actually had worked. I share this anyone who has overwhelming anxiety and everyone I’ve told this to, it has worked for them. You can’t beat science, baby.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.instagram.com/jayydolldesigns?igsh=OHg0dXBqMmIyaTN0&utm_source=qr
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wordupsmalls?igsh=MWg2bHFuN3VzNGtkYg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jayysmallz.1?mibextid=LQQJ4d
- Other: Email: [email protected]
Image Credits
Credit: @jayydolldesigns @wordupsmalls
