We were lucky to catch up with Jen Townsend recently and have shared our conversation below.
Jen, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Sometimes there are moments that happen in life and they feel hard, challenging or even defeating yet when you take the moment between what is prior to reacting and make a choice to think differently on how you react, that moment can be hard yet exciting, challenging yet rewarding, defeating yet an inspiration. I have found that my confidence comes from making a choice to be confident. It comes from sharing my story not letting it define me rather giving it the space to grow and be nurtured. As a person I am good at some things, very good at others and bad at even more things however, I don’t really think about it that way; rather, I looked at things as opportunities, as experiences, as a step. Every space I have been in, I was there because that’s where I needed to be and even when others try to push me down, used harmful words, provide inaccurate stories or use other means to make me feel less than, I have a choice in how I interpret it; let it effect me. Now I realize this is different yet each of these moments are a part of my story and I can see how they’ve supported me to be where I am right here, right now. I choose to think differently and stay curious which continuously gives me the confidence to be my authentic self, to notice with appreciation, wonder with imagination and take action to make a positive difference.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My name is Jen Townsend. I am a real-life world changer who nurtures the love of learning through appreciative inquiry, healthy relationships and a belief that anything is possible when you make a choice to think differently. I am a mother, a spouse, a friend, an author and a collaborator. I also wrote the book, Think Differently: An educator’s approach to appreciate what works. This book outlines how social engagement impacts learning and offers a way to use appreciation through peer to peer mentorship experiences. Wouldn’t we all desire a bit more authentic appreciation in our lives. Throughout my career I’ve encountered amazingly unique systems and individuals with so much neurodiversity that I have been inspired to challenge status quo and strive for others to see everyone for who they are and who they aspire to be and; how, sometimes when we make a choice to think differently so many things become possible.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I believe the three qualities that have supported me to get to where I am now can translate into the skills of persistence, inquiry and communication. More specifically, when others choose to put you down, push you aside or convey that you are not enough, you must persist… you must flip the script and realize that it’s not really about you, those things are about them. When others share these ugly actions with you it says more about them than it does you; that’s what I would tell my younger self. I also believe I’ve always been an inquisitive person, as a child it may have been described as curious, during adolescents it may have been seen as questioning yet each part of this journey I have been true to myself and made a choice to lean into this inquisitive skill building it into an asset rather than a deficit. As for communication, there are so many layers to this skill from verbal or written, to non-verbal and gestural expressions. Sometimes communication is about where you choose to stand in a room, or who you choose to look at, greet, converse with, spend time getting to know and so much more. I would share with my younger self, be friends with those that bring you joy not popularity; it’s completely wonderful to be different, to be yourself and to thrive. I live by the phrase, let your actions speak louder than your words and have done that throughout my life’s journey thus far and will continue to do so. Find your phrase, adjust when needed yet persist to make it your reality and remember, it’s amazingly wonderful to think differently… too much of the same would be lame.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
Sometimes life becomes overwhelming and it feels like it’s too much, it’s too heavy and we just can’t… in that moment I pause, recognize I have a choice and ask myself how I can choose to think differently about this moment, I lean in to say what have I noticed that seems to be working and how can I explore that part more. Then, I get curious to discover ways to duplicate and replicate the things that are working and make a plan to deliver what’s next. It’s all a part of an inquiry cycle where one discovers, dreams, designs and delivers. Discover the best of what is in that moment. Dream for all the ideals, things, moments, possibilities that might be. Then design a few things based on what’s working to determine what could be yet to truly take the next step, just one step, this is the moment when I pause, take a breath and remind myself I can because I’ve done it before and pick one thing I’ve just designed that I will choose to make a reality and deliver. I then take action on what will be by creating a plan, giving myself grace and then take the next step.
You could think about it like a game such as chess, volleyball, scrabble, etc. Let’s take the example of volleyball, a match is made up of three sets, sometimes five and each set is played to a specific score yet that’s not what’s important in this metaphor. Think about when the serve happens and the moment you receive the ball, nothing else happens in the game if the ball is not passed, it just takes one good pass to start the volley, to give other players their moment to shine with the epic set or the killer hit and the impossible dig yet none of that would be possible if after the serve there was not a pass. Yet sometimes we miss that pass and we have a choice to make, to adjust based on what’s worked for me in the past or to do the same thing again hoping for a different result. As an athlete, as a professional, as a person in that moment there is a choice and very quickly one can discover what works – lowering my stance and moving my feet, dream about what could be – getting the side out, winning the set, winning the match, etc. then quickly designing a plan of what could be in the court huddle, adjusting to a teammates idea, hearing the coach make a tweak on positioning and delivering what will be which is that one good pass that leads to an epic set and the killer hit to get us the side out and continue towards our shared goal to win the match.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.universalaccessconsulting.com
- Linkedin: @Jen(Chesson)Townsend
- Other: www.see-ks.com
Image Credits
Graphic Designer: Ben Townsend, BFA
