Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Kandice Porter . We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Kandice , we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
When I was growing up, I was the biggest people pleaser. I mean… terribly. I always put myself aside. I always made sure the other person was taken care of. It was because my self esteem was low. Why was there any reason for me to look out for me when I didn’t even love ME? So guess what? I didn’t.
I leaned heavily into people pleasing. I had lost sight of who I was. I didn’t even care. Don’t get me wrong, I was not suicidal or anything, I just severely disliked who I was. And that is probably because I didn’t feel liked by some very key players in my life. So it took root in me, their projections of me started make a dent in my life and played on my confidence as well.
There were some things that I could do really well, like sing. I had a FANTASTIC voice, but I didn’t have the confidence to use it. I was not bold in my approach. I was always thinking about how I would sound. How did I look on stage? What are people thinking of me. Do they like my song? Do they like my voice. It was a mess. I was a mess.
I often wonder what else I would be doing if my confidence was not shaken early on in my life. What missed opportunities I looked past because, I wasn’t confident enough in myself to do the things.
So it had to be in my adult years that I decided, its time to start loving me and looking out for me and taking care of ME! I was so proud when I had arrived at this destination.
The one thing that resonated with me deeply is, no matter how hard I tried with people, sometimes it simply wasn’t good enough. I mean, I would put my heart and soul into people pleasing even its the mercy of those who truly truly loved me. And when I found it didn’t make a difference, I started to move different.
Being that they didn’t care about my efforts, I started developing my confidence in knowing that if I were to walk away or distance myself from what I am used to doing, then that was a form of self care for me and also a self esteem booster. When you really learn that you are much more than what someone else thinks of you, its a game changer. I know we love to be liked and our reputation is very important, but if it is all consuming and not life giving, its time to let it go.
So thats what I did. I finally had the confidence to politely chose me over anything and anyone, and from there, I started to love myself in a way that I had never experienced before. This is so new to me, its only about 10 years old on me, but let me tell you, I love it here and it has boosted myself esteem to no longer be bound to the people pleasing.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I have a decade of entrepreneurship under my belt. I started out my journey as a preschool music enrichment business owner. With a degree in music liberal arts, I used my education and talents to pour back into the littles. We were doing so well for being in our 9th year of business and we were teaching children music all over the state of Colorado! We were making the most money we ever had! I had employees and music instructors and all the things! We were doing outstanding!
Then covid hit.
I had high hopes. I just knew that the business that I worked so hard for over the years would be able to stand the test of this time, but, it simply didn’t. I was devastated. I could not believe my beautiful baby business had died.
While my business was sunsetting (I just found out about this term in regards to businesses dying out and I LOVE it!) I would show up on social media every morning with a cup of coffee asking entrepreneurs how they were doing? It was hard time for some of us I was particularly interested in the ones that were struggling like I was.
Each day, I would show the real of my journey. I would show the good days, the not so good days. The closing of my office. the taking down of the sign. People were so compelled by that because they had seen me celebrating and expressing my gratitude for such a thriving business. So for my audience to see this side of it, they seen another side of me. One that was transparent, vunerable, and honest.
They thanked me for it. They supported me through my transition and it eventually led into another leg of business for me.
My Pastor called me one day asking me about my social media presence. And without a second thought, I immediately offered to help her with her social media campaign. I had NO idea what that was or how to do it, but I thought, well, it can’t be any different than what I do for myself every day!
So we gave it a try, and then people started getting wind of what it is that I was doing and they requested my services and from then on, my new business began.
Coming off of the heels of a business that died, I can’t say I was too excited to start something new so quickly. I just took Gods hand and allowed him to lead and guide me.
One thing I knew was it was ALWAYS the story that drew me. I was / am deeply fascinated by people, what they do, where they have been, what they have been though, how they overcame, etc. I realized that my bucket was being filled with every word they spoke.
I was being filled. The conversation was flowing, and I would go to their wells to draw motivation, strength, courage, and whatever else I needed and in return I would do the same for their well.
Thus The Filling Well was birthed! And with my experience in short form video, it was a knockout combo because we are in a digital age where people need to see and hear the human side of people, so what better way than video content where you can see and hear and experience the person in short, digestible clips.
Here recently, I was able to rethink the industries that need this service the most, and I was let to start serving real estate agents with diverse, creative, empathetic short form marketing videos.
I call myself the story whisperer, and I am guaranteed to get a story, a good story, out of my clients. One that is sure to set them apart and sell their service/product.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
My faith teaches me to run with endurance the race that is set before me. So I make sure to keep myself in the know of what’s happening, why its happening and how do I need to move because its happening. Again, I LOVE talking to people and gleaning from their stories, so I make sure to keep conversations fresh, to ask tons of questions, and to make people feel heard.
I also HATED the word pivot because of how many times I heard it during the pandemic and how frustrated I was because I simply didn’t know HOW to pivot. But with things changing all the time especially in my line of work, I have to pivot and I have to do it fast.
Also, I am a very emotional woman. I used to let my emotions get the absolute best of me, I would take things personal. I would wear my feelings on my sleeve. I am A MESS with my emotions. But what I have learned especially on this current entrepreneurial journey, there is so much emotion that I have to put into my actual work, that I have to use it sparingly and wisely. I just can’t let me emotion run me to the point where I feel crippled in my business.
New entrepreneurs, (Because I now feel like I am right there with you with starting a new business right after another one JUST dissolved, take the time to do it right. Take the time to build the right foundation so that no matter what happens, you business will not only stand but it will then also thrive.
Be careful who you talk to because people who can’t see the vision will talk you out of it. Make sure you have someone who you can talk business with, and someone who you have to not mention business with because you need friends of all kinds in this journey.
I would also say, new entrepreneurs, please please use the power of collaboration. You have no idea the magic that happens when great minds come together! Get in front of different audiences by the power of simple collaboration.
Don’t be afraid to tell your story. In the industry that I’m working and serving real estate agents, this industry is SO SATURATED. Everyone is doing the same thing and barely anyone is using their story or any short form video in their marketing. This is a big red flag as you have the biggest differentiator of all. Something that not ONE of your competitors have, and that is YOUR story!
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
Being that I am new in the Real Estate industry, I am so looking for agents in real estate who are looking to collaborate and share stories and grow their businesses. I am always looking for new ways and different approaches to do what I’m doing that will best serve my client, and the only way I do that is by having conversations and sharing information.
And this includes ANYONE in the real estate industry because the industry is VERY VERY big!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.fillingwell.com
- Instagram: kandicelporter
- Facebook: Kandice Porter
- Linkedin: The Filling Well
Image Credits
Kandice Porter
