We were lucky to catch up with Kate Evans recently and have shared our conversation below.
Kate, thank you so much for joining us. You are such a positive person and it’s something we really admire and so we wanted to start by asking you where you think your optimism comes from?
Optimism is a mental attitude that leans toward confidence and hope for a better future. Buddhist teachers, such as Pema Chodron, have helped me lean toward optimism. I believe this is because I’ve learned to befriend my mind.
An example is when I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I focused a lot on being grateful for my medical providers, and those who developed the technology to see and fix what was happening. I imagined my surgeon as a little girl deciding to be a doctor, going to medical school, studying hard, choosing to specialize in neurology, learning from her mentors. Everything that brought her to this moment where we came together. This kind of thinking helped me to feel curiosity and awe. Also, when the thought of dying came to me, I’d try to relax into the reality of mortality: we all die. I’d think of Ram Dass’ words, that to die is like taking off a too-tight shoe. So all of this helped me feel that everything would be okay. No matter what.
A less dramatic example is when 11 years ago my husband and I decided to leave everything behind and live as house-free travelers. I think optimism is what made it possible for me to get rid of all my possessions and live unrooted. Instead of being fearful of the unknown, I would think about how the void is fertile, how so many experiences and opportunities would open up. And they did.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I’ve always loved stories about women’s journeys and transformations. I’m drawn to unconventional lives. And I’m fascinated by “love, sex, spirit & travel”–the subtitle of my first memoir, which won the Bisexual Book Award.
My two memoirs (<i>Call It Wonder</i> & <i>Wanderland</i>) tell about how my husband and I left jobs and home to explore the world. We’re nomads, housesitters, pet-carers, expats. Along the way, we’ve grappled with dramatic health crises and natural disasters. And we’ve discovered the world is mostly an inviting place, as are the people.
My three novels feature women’s life stories: <i>For the May Queen</i> (a young woman’s first year in college), <i>Complementary Colors</i> (a woman in her thirties falls in love with another woman for the first time), and <i>Revolutionary Kiss</i> (a young woman’s life during the French Revolution, which I co-wrote with Mary Janelle Melvin under the name Mary Kate Summers).
I’ve also authored two collections of poems and a book about queer teachers. My essays, stories and poems have been widely published. I hold a PhD from the University of Washington and an MFA from San Jose State University.
I enjoy guiding people to unleash and shape their stories. For many years, I taught university-level writing. Before that, I barely survived teaching in an American high school. I’ve taught internationally as well: at a language school in Japan and at a university in China. I’ve led writing retreats in Thailand, Mexico, and throughout the U.S. Now I work as a writing coach and book editor.
As a girl, I dreamed of becoming a traveling writer. Finally, that dream has come true.
Half the year I live in Mexico. The other half I wander.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I’ve always loved to read. Books have helped me learn about the world through the eyes of people both like and unlike me. I believe my ability to focus, have empathy, and to write have all come through reading.
If you’re struggling, there’s a book out there that will help you see how someone has dealt with something similar. If you’re bored or depressed, a book can open up possibilities. If you want to understand at a deeper, more nuanced level what’s going on in the world, there are shelves of books that will speak to you.
I tell my clients that to write their own books, they should read a lot: not just as a reader, but as a writer. Anything they want to know about story-telling, characterization, momentum, dialogue–it’s all in the books they love.
I don’t exaggerate when I say books changed–and saved–my life. I never felt I fit into conventions. I ached to understand how others truly felt, deep down, beyond the surface. And that is what books have offered.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
You can’t ask a writer for only one book that’s been important in her life! I’d like to break the rules here and offer my top 11:
1) <i>Harriet the Spy</i> by Louise Fitzhugh
Harriet rides her bike around, peeking in on her quirky neighbors and writing about them. She likes to wear jeans and her dad’s blocky glasses frames. Her best friend, a boy named Scout, wears an apron when he cooks for his widowed father. I first read this book at age eight. When I re-read it 30 years later, I saw many things I care about contained in its pages: the love of traveling and writing, the rejection of gender straight-jackets, and the fascination with how other people do this thing we call living.
Favorite quote: “Life is a great mystery. Is everybody a different person when they are with someone else?”
2) <i>The Martian Chronicles</i> by Ray Bradbury
In seventh grade, my science teacher read to us every Friday from this book about humans colonizing Mars. While I may not have grasped the social criticism, I was bowled over by the gripping writing and by how the stories offered profound insights into life. That a book could give me (existential) goosebumps helped me internalize the power of the written word.
Favorite quote: “Why life? Life was its own answer. Life was the propagation of more life and the living of as good a life as possible.”
3) <i>Leaves of Grass</i> by Walt Whitman
I was in my twenties when I first encountered Whitman, whose work became my bible. He wrote about how we are connected to each other and all of nature, how the body is to be praised, how equality should be a given, and how what matters most is love in all its forms. His long, rhythmic lines crackle with electricity more than 150 years since they first appeared in print.
Favorite quote: “Do anything, but let it produce joy.”
4) <i>Journal of Solitude</i> by May Sarton
At age 29, I moved alone to Japan to teach. There, I devoured all of Sarton’s soulful and insightful journals. I was spending a lot of time alone, and she helped me see how I didn’t have to be scared of solitude; alone, I could plumb my depths.
Favorite quote: “Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self.”
5) <i>Wild Mind: Living the Writers’ Life </i>by Natalie Goldberg
With her pragmatic, soulful wit, Goldberg helped me free my inner creator. As I tried out her writing methods, I turned myself over to my dream of being a writer.
Favorite quote: “Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes everything is an emergency.”
6) <i>When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times</i> by Pema Chodron
When I was going through a devastating divorce, a friend gave me this book. My lifeline to sanity, Pema’s book was the start of my journey to better understand how to deal with suffering. I think I saved thousands of dollars in therapy bills by reading her.
Favorite quote: “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.”
7) <i>Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Life and Love from Dear Sugar </i>by Cheryl Strayed
As I read this book, I found myself wishing over and over again I’d had it in my hands when I was younger. It might have helped me change course—or at least be kinder to myself. Her advice and voice wrap their arms around you and help you stand up straight.
Favorite quote: “You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery. Be a warrior for love.”
8) <i>Infidel </i>by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
In this memoir, a Somalian woman follows a harrowing and unlikely path and ultimately becomes a political figure in the Netherlands. In the face of death threats, she fearlessly champions free speech, women’s rights, and the banning of female genital mutilation. Her life story gave me courage.
Favorite quote: “It takes a long time to dissolve the bars of a mental cage.”
9) <i>Champion of Choice: The Life and Legacy of Women’s Advocate Nafis Sadik </i>by Cathleen Miller
An inspirational example of a woman who has affected millions of lives. A Pakistani national, she bucked tradition and became a physician and eventually a leader of the U.N. population fund, fighting for women’s health and reproductive rights. Into her 80s, she worked to make the world a better place. This book is a great example of how one person can change the world.
Favorite quote: “We must be courageous in speaking out on the issues that concern us… We will not allow ourselves to be silenced.”
10) <i>She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders </i>by Jennifer Finney Boylan
With humor and intelligence, Boylan tells the poignant story of her transition from Jim to Jenny. I developed new understandings and deeper compassion reading this.
Favorite quote: “As it turns out, we’re all still learning to be men, or women, all still learning to be ourselves.”
11) <i>Half Broke Horses </i>by Jeanette Walls.
This novel is based on the life of Jeanette’s extraordinary grandmother, Lila Casey Smith, who, at age 15, left home on a pony to ride 500 miles for a teaching job in a frontier town. She learned to fly a plane and ran a ranch in Arizona, surviving droughts, tornadoes, the Great Depression, and personal tragedy. Like many of the women I love to read about, she stood up for the underdog and spoke out against injustice.
Favorite quote: “Nobody’s perfect. We’re all just one step up from the beasts and one step down from the angels.”
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.kateevanswriter.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katenomadicwriter/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KateEvansWriter
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kateevansauthor/
