We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Katie Rubin. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Katie below.
Katie, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
I’m not certain I believe “imposter syndrome” is actually a syndrome, nor do I buy that we ever “overcome” “it.” That is to say, we all feel insecure, uncertain, not good enough, and/or unworthy at various moments of stress and stretching past our comfort zones. When we label feelings we feel as “syndromes,” we begin to align those feelings with our core identity. Who we each are is not a feeling. Feelings come and go. And sometimes difficult feelings come often. So, I guess that distinction feels important to me to make. Because when I feel feelings of not being ready, good enough, prepared, I use a combo of some self love practices, and coaching techniques to get myself through. First, I feel into the feeling. So often, our instinct is to move away from our feelings. This, unfortunately, doesn’t heal, solve or fix any problems. Not in a real way, any way. What works to dissipate big, heavy feelings is to lean INTO them. Feel them, hear them, listen to them, receive them. THEN, 9.9 times out of 10, then just sort of pass through our system, and we are left with vastly more peace. Then from a place of more internal peace, we can do some coaching. One piece of self-coaching that works well for me is to remind myself that weather I’m “worthy,” “ready” or “good enough” in someone else’s eyes is actually irrelevant to the moment at hand. Not to mention, assessing my own worthiness, readiness, and/or good-enough-ness is really a dressed up way of judging myself. Judgement often SEEMS to be a great way to progress, but in the end, for me, is not actually helpful. In fact, it’s quite crippling. So, I choose to turn my mental attention away from the voices that shout unworthiness in my general direction (NOTE: those voices DO arise. I’m not insane, dissociated or in denial – so they arise!), but the next step is to notice them, and choose not to engage. I had a therapist who used to say “You have to get that those voices are not trustworthy. Listening to them is like listening to a sociopath who has escaped from an institution. Would you take that person’s advice?” I like that idea. So, I notice those kinds of thoughts, then choose to tell myself a new story. I like this one: “I enjoy my life when I’m doing things I like doing. So I’m going to show up and do my best to do this current scary thing because I want a life filled with things I like doing.” At this point, I’ve built up some trust with myself, after years of showing up for things I actually desire to do, so I know that I will do a good job. Because, if I love the thing, I always do my best. And my best has to be enough because it’s what I have. So, in summary, my worthiness or thoughts of being an imposter are just noise in my head that I allow to pass, without giving it much attention. I wish that ability to choose for everyone.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
These days, I’m super excited about and focused on my Home Staging Business. I’ve always had a real love for design, architecture and real estate, but it never quite clicked for me how I might be involved in those fields. I was also busy, when I was younger, with my professional Acting Career, and didn’t have time to focus on design or interiors. During 2020, I moved to Colorado for a short time and lived in a small town where rentals were much more affordable than what I had been used to in California. During my Acting Career, I had also developed skills as an Energy Healer and had a side business working with clients and teaching Healing Classes and Workshops and running retreats. In Colorado, I came across this incredible space that was available for rent in the center of town. The price was so incredible that even though I didn’t know what I would do with it when I rented it, I knew I had to have it. Once I took over the lease, I set out to turn the space into a Healing Center. I designed the look of the space, purchased the interior items needed and wound up mostly renting the space to other body workers and energy healers who needed it. By the time I was leaving Colorado, I realized the only thing I had really enjoyed about having a Healing Center was decorating it! So I started to consider going back to school for Interior Design. I realized pretty quickly, however, that the business of Interior Design wasn’t for me- long term projects with home owners who would have elaborate and specific ideas about which exact Italian couch they wanted for their living room didn’t appeal to me. I’m a people person, but not THAT much of one. lol. That’s when I started to learn about staging. I moved next to Beacon, Ny in the Hudson Valley where I did my first two staging jobs, then to Jacksonville Florida for a year where I did two more. And when it was finally time to come back to California (for good), I built my site, got my business license and got to work getting to know the fabulous Realtors of the Bay Area! Now I have a warehouse in Emeryville, have staged homes in Danville, Jack London Square, and am about to stage a couple in Richmond, Pittsburg and other parts of Oakland.
Part of what I like about my story and what I hope is helpful for some readers to hear is that when we are compelled to do one thing, we never know what secondary outcome might arise as a result of having done it. Even though I didn’t end up having a lasting drive to run a healing center, I’m so so glad I built one as it clarified for me where my real interest was.
I also want to emphasize the importance of being willing to shift gears, change our minds, and do new things at any age. I’m in my mid-forties and have started an entirely new career, and I’m so grateful to say, at the moment that it is working and it is a ton of fun! Just because we commit to one path for a long time, doesn’t mean we can’t commit to something entirely different when and if we’re called to for another period of time. Change is the name of the game for me, and I hope this makes some late-bloomer-change-makers out there feel less alone!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
For me, I have always had a natural affinity for and set of abilities with certain things. If I’m not naturally inclined towards it, I tend not to have much energy for it. So, being willing to commit to focusing on what feels correct, what feels natural, and what I’m organically good at, rather than falling victim to believing I have to do “what makes sense to other people,” or what other people will understand or approve of has been the key for me. I always want my story to be an inspiration to other folks to trust themselves. If you have a yearning, desire or need to pursue something and the only person who understands that is you- that is plenty of people. Eventually, when you’re wildly successful at your heart’s desire, that’s the moment when the people will approve of and applaud you. In the meantime, we can’t live for their approval. We need only live for and trust in our own authentic drives and desires.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I’m excited to connect with kind-hearted, and fiercely business minded Real Estate Agents and Teams in Marin County, Danville, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Oakland, Richmond, Emeryville, Alameda, and the surrounding areas. I’m always easy to find here: signaturestaginginthebay.com and here: [email protected]
Contact Info:
- Website: signaturestaginginthebay.com
- Instagram: @staginginthebay
- Facebook: Facebook.com/SignatureStagingintheBay
Image Credits
Allison Ragsdale
