We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kaylee Davis. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kaylee below.
Kaylee, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
It wasn’t necessarily about being the only one that looked like me, it was about being the only one in many situations with such a degree of heightened sensitivity that those around me didn’t seem to have or understand. I was in the last year diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. Having little to no understanding of this or myself, I just felt alien most of my life. I noticed small details others missed or purely couldn’t see at all. I feel things so intensely sometimes that it feels like my world is crashing in and I can’t breathe. My clothes sticking to me in certain ways makes me feel like I want to scream. I don’t understand nuances, hierarchy within workplaces, etc. Getting through seemingly “normal” parts of life were absolute HELL for me, and I could never figure out way. The people I grew up around were less than helpful and made sure to remind me there was nothing actually wrong with me, I was just stupid, slow, weird, etc. For many years I believed that. I just needed to try harder. Exert myself more. But the harder I tried the harder I came crashing down every-time. While I may not have been able to save myself back than, I have been able to somewhat rectify what has happened to me by showing up for my daughter in all the ways I wasn’t showed up for. My daughter has the same diagnosis and providing her with all the help I never got has been incredibly healing. I get to do everything for her that never got done for me. She will never feel as alone as I did and I’ll do anything and everything to support her neurodivergence.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
Domestic violence advocacy fulfills my souls purpose in providing care and comfort to those desperately in need of it, with no where else to turn. Having been in that same exact position in my life many times, I understand the trauma and true struggle that comes along with domestic violence, homelessness, etc. I’m able to offer a direct perspective to them that change for yourself is possible-despite all odds. I’ve made tremendous changes in my own life over the course of the past few years and I’m here to prove: Change IS possible!
Being a nail tech fulfills my creative drive and need to create. Sometimes I can’t wait to get out of work to come home and do a new set of nails. It’s like creating little paintings and I’m absolutely in love with the artistic process of it. I’m also passionate about creating a sustainable option for nails. My brand, Disco Nails, will have many reusable acrylic/gel nails sets to chose from!
I would love to combine my work as an advocate and as a nail tech together by providing a 7% sales donation to the shelter I work for and also create a program where I’m able to provide nails for people that may need or want them, but maybe never got to experience them. I would love to partner with different brands/people to make this happen. Our nails tell a story, everyone’s are different. That’s exactly what I love about it.
If you are interested in supporting this endeavor please follow @disconailsbykaylee on instagram.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Don’t stay somewhere if your heart, mind, and body are telling you to go. It doesn’t matter how many years you have invested. If something isn’t meant for you anymore, there will be signs. Every deed you do will be misunderstood and under appreciated. No one will truly ‘see’ you and it feels like you’re constantly fighting for your place. These are all sure signs. Its time to leave whatever environment you may be in. You will FEEL it in your body and soul. I ignored my intuition for years and ended up paying big time. Always trust your gut!
2. It’s sorta cliche but it’s true that self confidence will take you very far. Even if you don’t believe it, faking it works until you do. Some of the most influential people I have known are no where near qualified on paper to be in the positions they are in. They just have a lot of self love and confidence and know how to sell their strengths. They also have a strong understanding of their own weaknesses and an overall keen sense of self awareness.
3. Try multiple avenues in life! Multiple mediums until you find what works for you! Don’t give up! You might even be in the right path, but wrong position. I thought my love of cosmetology was in hair. Maybe it was at one point. But I changed. My ideas on life and priorities shifted and so did my interests. It’s only natural. But the death of my hair career felt like the death of me for so long. I had wrapped up my identity so deeply into what I was doing and where I was at the time, and I didn’t even fully realize it until it was over. Don’t get so attached to a career that you make it your whole personality like I did. When I lost my job, I truly lost myself and it took so many years to find me again. You are the only one that defines yourself. Everyday we have infinite choices to make and ways to change. Only you define you.
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
I used to say go all in, but the older I get the more curious I am about more things. I’ve chosen to collect multiple different skills to form a sort of path of my own. When you form a tool box of life skills that is unique to you, there is no one like you and what you can do.
Prior to hair, I worked in the food service industry and retail. This prepared me for working with the public on a daily basis and interacting.
From hair I was able to gain a massive amount of practice and knowledge in communication with people. Which for so long was a very hard aspect of the job for me, because I wasn’t good at it. After eight years of consulting with clients of all walks of life, I consider myself well rounded and versed in communication.
With my skills learned from the vast amount of communication I did in my previous career, I was able to apply that knowledge to domestic violence advocacy. I know how to recieve and respond to all kinds of different people and situations and that in itself is so valuable.
So to sum it up, I think there is nothing wrong with being a jack of all trades, master of none. Because like I said maybe in collecting multiple skills you create a whole new path for yourself.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://msha.ke/disconails
- Instagram: disconailsbykaylee
- Facebook: Disco Nails by Kaylee
- Other: TikTok: @howdyb8 Blog instagram: @howdyb815
