Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Kelly Spieker. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Kelly, sincerely appreciate your selflessness in agreeing to discuss your mental health journey and how you overcame and persisted despite the challenges. Please share with our readers how you overcame. For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
When I was a kid, and even into my teen years, I used to say I was destined for greatness. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I just had this feeling my life was meant to be something more. Fast forward to 2008, I’m 22-years-old and out of the blue, my mom died. I was devastated … how could I exist in a world where she didn’t? I had two choices; the first was to continue down the path I was on, which was full of drugs, alcohol and poor choices. And the second was to get my shit together – sober up, go to college and start planning a positive future.
Easier said than done.
I’ll never forget the first time I had an anxiety attack. I was sitting in a boring, but required, Civilazation class at Pikes Peak State College and out of nowhere my heart starts racing, I start sweating and my professor begins sounding like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Just when I can feel the tunnel vision creeping in, I grab my stuff and race out of the classroom and into the bathroom – where I spend the next 45 minutes. OK, it’s time for my next class and I try to suck it up … five minutes in and I’m having another anxiety attack. What is happening?!
First it was at school, then it was driving down the highway … followed by in the middle of a shift at work or while out with friends. It was as if I could not leave the safety of my one bedroom apartment without having a panic attack. This was the first time I sought out talk therapy.
I knew my mom was diagnosed with depression when I was a kid, but I didn’t fully understand what that meant until I was handed the same diagnoses.
So, here we are 15 years later, and I can openly and honestly say that I walk with clinical depression and anxiety. I’m not currently on any medications because my body is sensitive to side affects and I’ve had miserable experiences trying to find an anti-depressant that works. I do see a talk-therapist regularly and just recently completed something called Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) therapy that is meant for treatment-resistant depression. TMS uses magnetic pulses to stimulate the part of your brain “responsible” for causing depression and helps the synapses start firing correctly. Look it up – it’s totally interesting.
I am not cured, and I will never be 100% cured of my depression and anxiety … that realization weighs heavier on the heart some days more than others. Especially the ones where I’ve felt I’ve made the most progress in defining what I believe to be self-care or coping mechanisms – and with the snap of a finger that progress can be wiped away completely with no explanation, no trigger – nothing. That’s just what depression does.
Then there’s COVID and the havoc that wreaked on everyone’s mental health. It was when I had exhausted all my hobbies, watched all my favorite shows and was so uncomfortable in my own skin that I could have set myself on fire that I found dot mandala art.
I’ve always been creative, but before the last two years I would have never called myself an artist. Even today when peddling my wares, I’ll tell people, “I can’t draw a stick figure, but I’m good with dots and circles.” With as long as I’ve loved tying macramé or scrap-booking or collaging – or whatever project I could get my hands on – nothing has filled my heart or soothed my soul the way dot mandala painting has. It sounds so simple, but despite how creative I’ve been, this is the first time I’ve felt truly talented – creating patterns, mixing colors, counting dots – it’s calming, meditative and puts my OCD at bay. It is everything I didn’t know my mental health needed.
It sounds like just a hobby, but it is my second job. By day, I am lucky enough to work in marketing and communications for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Colorado Springs, and then my nights and weekends are spent painting and working hard to build my business, the Adopted Alien Project.
My diagnosis does not define me, but instead walks beside me as I continue to believe that I am destined for greatness.
You can find my artwork at adoptedalienproject.com or on Facebook or Instagram @adoptedalienproject.
And if you, or someone you love, is struggling with their mental health, seek help from NAMI at namicoloradosprings.org – even if you’re not located in Colorado Springs, we can still help.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I spent ten years working high-stress, demanding 40-hour work weeks at a local newspaper before I was offered a part-time position working in marketing and communications at the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Colorado Springs. I took this role for many reasons.
For starters, I was asked questions like, “What do you do for self care?” and “How do you define a work/life balance?” during my interview. But it was also an understanding from the team that I was making this change in order to grow my art business, the Adopted Alien Project.
I’m not meant to be a CEO – I’m meant to be a full-time artisan. So many people found new hobbies, or rediscovered old ones, while being stuck in quarantine, but I found my passion. My job was my job and I was just existing before I started painting, selling and sharing my art with my community.
Dot mandala art is most commonly painted on smooth, river rocks, but I’ve worked hard to be unique in the canvas I choose. My father-in-law came across boxes of old cabinet doors and slabs of marble, so I’ve turned these out-of-style kitchen accessories into canvas. I love refinishing old cigar boxes and lining them with velvet and making special pillows. Magnets, coasters, earrings, magic wands, wall hangings, shelves – and my favorite – painting ceramic trays, wooden mushrooms and putting them together as a simple little trinket tray. My tagline is, “the more obscure the canvas, the better.” I love pushing the envelope and trying new things – it’s nearly impossible to come up with an original idea so I work hard in trying new ways to set my art apart from others.
I’m working to launch a website where I can eventually sell my product online, and I’m always accepting custom orders. I will also be turning some of my best pieces into prints and stickers.
I love being a part of the NAMI staff and community of peers, but the goal is to pursue art and creativity full time. I’d love to have a small store front where I’d sell my art and other projects, but also offer space for the community to gather over good conversation or over a good book.
The next place you can find me in person is at the Red Leg Brewing Maker’s Market on June 4 from 12-5.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Well, I’ve been working in marketing for years, so that’s definitely helped in promoting my business and knowing how to network. I’d also have to say my work ethic and time management skills add to my success. I write a lot of to do lists and get very little sleep, LOL. I mean, I love to sleep, and there’s nothing like an afternoon nap on a warm summer day, but if I can be painting, I will be.
When I first started my business, I was sacrificing time with my husband and friends to the point where I wasn’t making weekend plans or feeling present in my relationship. There was one day where my husband and I took a day trip to visit his parents out of town, and after the trip lasted a little longer than planned, he said to me, “I’m sorry we’re still here, I know you’d rather be painting.” It was in that moment that I realized I never wanted my husband, or any of my favorite people, to think that I’d rather be painting than spending time with them.
All of that to say my advice is to not lose yourself in your hobbies – however big or small they might be. Remember you’re always going to be your own worst critic, so don’t let this stop you from accepting compliments. Trust the people who are telling you are talented and never be afraid to celebrate your success. And if you decide to sell your creations – charge more than you think you should. People are paying for a one-of-a-kind piece that cannot be duplicated, that came from the depths of your brain and took a lot of time. I actually started adding “time spent” to some of my price tags so that folks know the amount of effort I’ve put into a piece – it’s made them more inclined to buy and inspired other artists to do the same.
Lastly, if you’re thinking about painting, drawing, tap dancing, sewing, learning the drums, singing at an open mic night, whatever it is that you want to try, but are afraid to suck – just do it.
What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?
I spoke earlier about walking with anxiety, and this continues to be a challenge every day. I am great at managing my time, but anxiety likes to tell me that there is never enough of it. Every time I scratch something off my to do list, anxiety likes to remind me of six other things I forgot to write down.
So, my thoughts kind of look like this:
go to work, get home at 5pm, eat dinner by 6pm, that gives me 6 hours to paint before bed, but wait … I still need to inventory my product … oh, but wait, I should post these photos on my social media channels, but before I do that I need to take pictures, but I don’t like the photos I took and I forgot to take photos of the piece I finished last week. and I really want to start this next piece, and AH! I should work on my website … I’m never going to get that finshed, what if no one likes my artwork, what if my business never grows, what if I don’t book any other vendor fairs this year, what am I doing?! OH! It’s midnight, I should probably go to bed … if I go to bed now, I’ll get 6 hours of sleep …
And then I remember that during some of my darkest days of battling depression, my husband told me that sometimes all we can do is take life one minute at a time – just get through that one minute and the next one will be easier. So, I’ve applied this advice when anxiety tells me I don’t have any time, though instead of one minute I use one hour.
If the task is to post pictures of my artwork on my social media channels, I will spend one hour looking for and finding the photos I like and then schedule as many posts as I can for that one hour. I even set a timer so that when that one hour is up I can feel like I accomplished something, and can then pivot to the next task OR in most cases, get back to painting.
Contact Info:
- Website: adoptedalienproject.com
- Instagram: @adoptedalienproject
- Facebook: @adoptedalienproject
