We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kelsey Flint. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kelsey below.
Kelsey, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome manifested as an overwhelming sense of inadequacy since being diagnosed with a chronic illness. I felt like I wasn’t able ever to be good enough or as good as those around me and self-sabotaged and missed a lot of opportunities out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to pull myself together. I began to slowly shift my focus from myself to helping others. I started my Master’s program in psychology and starting my PhD in clinical psychology next year. This has all allowed me to cultivate my true calling & hone in on my empathy skills on a deeper level, and strengthen my sense of purpose beyond my personal insecurities. Over several months I began to gradually chip away at the walls of my self-doubt and find my place in the world.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
In April 2017, my world as I knew it changed forever. I see things now as someone with almost a different set of eyes or brain. I wish I could go back and hug my 20-year-old self and tell myself that everything would be okay. Because it would be.
In January of 2017 I had a bad bout of the flu. We flew from Miami to New York, New York to Detroit. I was so stuffed up and felt so much pressure around my head. Upon descending, I was awoken to the most excruciating pain in both of my ears at each descent the pilot made lower to land. It felt as if someone inserted a sharp object in both of my ears and pressed them through my eardrum, twisting and turning. Pressure filled my head and I felt as if my ears were going to explode. I covered my hands over my ears waiting for it to stop. Once we finally landed, my ears rang so loud and felt so sore. I only had 40 minutes until the next takeoff. I sat and took deep breaths and tried to tell myself it probably was just an ear infection or something. On the next plane, it happened again. Just as painful, just as unrelenting.
One spring afternoon in 2017, I was talking on the phone with my brother. Pacing around my house, I sat down on the edge of my bed and placed my phone on speaker. I stretched and fell back onto my bed laughing at something he had just said. As I sat back up a whoosh of vertigo came up from my feet all the way to the top of my head. Beads of sweat lined my forehead. I blinked hard, twice and grounded my feet on the floor. A veil of darkness started to cover my eyes, and as I opened them, my voice echoed for my partner at the time to help me. Did I just pass out? I started to feel panic rising up my throat. My body instantly grew weak and with each step, my legs Jell-O.
Each step forward felt as if I was walking on a trampoline. Whoosh. Another spin.
Nausea and more panic started to erupt out of me. I could not understand what was happening. I have never felt such intense feelings and sensations all at once. Something was seriously wrong with me. I grabbed my bag and went to the hospital.
Luckily for me, I did not get another episode for a couple of months. When it did hit again, it never went away. Every day after this episode I felt as if I was in a dream. I felt like I was always behind a pane of glass, watching life go by while I was hyper-aware. I felt like I was watching my life through the eyes of an alien, or in someone else’s body. As if I was inhabiting my body and not actually living my days out as my own.
Sleep was my only escape. I was lucky because each day would bring such high-stress responses from my body so I would be incredibly exhausted anyway so, getting to sleep was not very difficult. Every conversation, moment, and event was painful to be present in.
People would talk and it would echo and fade out to almost nothing, and then I would snap back and be present again. I would look in a mirror and not recognize the face staring back at me. It looked altered, and distorted. My eyes showed me a different world, everything being disoriented as if I were in a dream. Faces, conversations, and things just said were forgotten almost immediately after seeing or doing it. I constantly felt out of breath, fatigued and adrenaline rushed for no reason going through my body constantly. I finally got a diagnosis of POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) and Vestibular Neuritis.
I will never stop advocating for those who may be bedridden, housebound, or afraid of what this new world and “new normal” may be; just because it is invisible, does not make it less important. I have found my passion for speaking up to help improve healthcare inclusivity and create spaces where individuals can openly discuss their challenges in a safe space. I am now in the process of getting my Ph.D. in clinical psychology and wish to research different treatment techniques for those who have my condition. You can follow along on my Instagram @peanutbutterkelsey for updates!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Definitely patience, empathy, and self-awareness. These all are not things anyone will master overnight, and may never “master” at all. But realizing our potential, tuning in to that “knowing” and continuing to listen to your gut, your heart and stepping into that fully is key.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
Untamed by Glennon Doyle. I read this book in 2020 and had truly a massive overhaul of my life. It really hit me, hard, in the face, when I sat with it and let the words sink in. It taught me that it is OK to be human. Feeling your feelings is so hard, but that is why they are there. It taught me to let go of the lie that we tell ourselves that things should come easy and not to be full of myself. But I want to be full of myself — so full of love, empathy, and heart that others feel it too. Every time when I am given a choice to disappoint myself or someone else, I disappoint someone else and let the rest burn.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: peanutbutterkelsey
Image Credits
Shelby York Photography
